DOI Page / Citation link:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16516#0088
84
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
LITERARY INTELLIGENCE.
We understand that Mr. Shillibeer has placed one of his funeral con-
veyances at the disposal of a well-known dramatist, whose rooms, from
the accumulation of deceased melodrames, had become inconveniently
crowded. The unfortunate defunct are to be interred either at Harrow,
in accordance with their frightful character, or at Nunhead, as being
more appropriate to the peculiar position of their author.
Mr. Pennyline started one morning last week to Bayswater, on a tour
of observation, to watch the progress of the new buildings, and remark on
the occurrence of any accident among the men engaged on them. He
had the good fortune to witness the precipitation of a bricklayer's labourer
from the top of a ladder, when he immediately made the melancholy cir-
cumstance the subject of a very vigorous and impressive paragraph.
Mr. Silly boy, the popular author of the charming ballad Brush
back that Briny Tear," has another song on the same subject nearly
ready. It commences with "Wipe off that pearly drop," and is said to
be in many respects equal to its predecessor. It is, we believe, intended j hose! No tyranny ! no Normans !) In this afflicted naked country the
Normans, saying I have no doubt that they were our natural enemies,
and called a huge army together, with which, he said, he would go
and annihilate them. The army was obliged to assemble, for by the
laws of the country each nobleman, knight, thane, and landholder,
was bound according to the value of his land to furnish so many
soldiers, knowing that the king would come down on their estates
else ; and so being all come together, and ready to cross the water,
the king made them a speech.
" Friends, Countrymen, and Fellow Soldiers (said he) ; companions
of my toil, my feelings, and my fame ; the eyes of Europe are upon
you. You aie about to embark on a most dangerous enterprise ; you
will have to undergo the horrors of a sea-voyage, of which I need
not describe to you the discomforts (the army began to look very
blue). You will be landed in a hostile country, which has been laid
waste by me already in my first invasions, as also by the accursed
policy of the despot who governs it. {Cries of Down with Robert Short-
foe publication, but it is doubtful whether the gifted author will carry out
his intention so far as to publish it.
The new novel of the Crusaders of Clapham is said to be in the press ;
but we believe the fact to be, that t'ie only press it is in is the author's
large cupboard, where it is likely to continue.
The neat little romance of Knightsbridge as it is—Brompton as it
was—and Fulham as it ought to be, is still in the hands of a celebrated
bibliopole, who has promised an early perusal, with a view to an arrange-
ment for its speedy publication, if the incidents are not considered rather
too powerful for the present quiet taste which regulates book-reading. One
chapter, in which Fulham is compared to Elysium, and the ghost of Time
is represented as walking arm in arm with the shadow of Eternity in the
enclosure of Brompton - square, is said to be one of the most powerful pieces
of fiction that was ever written.
greater part of you will inevitably starve ; a considerable number
will be cut to pieces by the ferocious Norman soldiery, and even if
it please Heaven to crown my first cause with success, what will my
triumph benefit you, my friends ? You will be none the better for it ;
but will come back many of you without your arms and legs, and
not a penny richer than when you went. {Immense sensation.)
" Now, I appeal to you as men, as Englishmen, as fathers of families,
will it not be better to make a peaceful and honourable compromise
than to enter upon any such campaign ? Yes ! I knew you would
say yes, as becomes men of sense, men of honour—Englishmen, in a
word. (Hear, hear.) I ask you, then—your sovereign and father asks
you—will it not be better to pay me ten shillings a-piece all round,
and go home to your happy families—to your lovely wives, who will
thus run no risk of losing the partners of their beds—to smiling
children, who may still for many, many years have their fathers to
bless, maintain, and educate them? Officers, carry the hats round,
and take the sense of the army."
Putting his handkerchief to his eyes, the beneficent monarch here
sat down : and what was the consequence of his affecting appeal \ The
hats were sent round—the whole army saw the propriety of sub-
scribing—fifteen thousand pounds were paid down on the spot—a
UST before the breath was out of j bloody war was avoided—and thus, as the king said, all parties were
MISS TiCKLETOBY'S LECTURES ON
ENGLISH HISTORY.
LECTURE V.-WILLIAM RUFUS.
the Conqueror's body, William Ru-
fus, his second son (who had much
longer legs than his honest elder
benefited.
For all this, however, he was not long before he had them out again,
and took agreat number of his towns and castles from his brother Robert,
brother Robert), ran over to Eng- ! At last he got possession of his whole dukedom ; for at this time all
land, took possession of some castles ; Europe was seized with a strange fit of frenzjr, and hatred against
and his father's money, and, so forti- the Turks ; one Peter, a hermit, went abroad preaching hatred against
fied, had himself proclaimed King ! these unbelievers, and the necessity of taking Palestine from them, and
of England without any difficulty. ' murdering every mother's son of them. No less than a million of men
Honest Robert remained Duke of setoff on this errand. Three hundred thousandof them marched ahead,
Normandy ; and as for the third
sou, Prince Henry, though not so
handsomely provided for as his el-
without food or forethought, expecting that Heaven would provide
them with nourishment on their march, and give them the victory
over the Saracens. But this pious body was cut to pieces ; and as for
der brothers, it appears he managed the doings of the other seven hundred thousand, what heroes com-
to make both ends meet by robbing manded them, what dangers they overcame, what enchanters they
on his own account. destroyed, how they took the holy city, and what came of their con-
William's conduct on getting hold J quest—ail this may be read in the veracious history of one Tasso,
of the crown was so violent, that some of the nobles whom he plun- but has nothing to "do with the history of William Rufus.
dered were struck with remorse at having acknowledged him king
instead of honest Courthose, his elder brother. So they set up a sort
of rebellion, which Rufus quelled pretty easily, appealing to the
people to support him, and promising them ali sorts of good treat-
ment in return. The people believed him, fought for him, and when
they had done what he wanted, namely, quelled the rebellion, and
aided him in seizing hold of several of Robert's Norman castles and
towns—would you believe it?—William treated them not one bit
better than before ! (Cries of Shame).
At these exclamations Miss Tickletoby looked round very sternly.
Young people, young people (exclaimed she), I'm astonished at you.
Don't you know that such cries on your part are highly improper and
seditious ? Don't you know that by crying out " Shame" in that way,
you insult not only every monarch, but every ministry that ever
That shrewd monarch would not allow his islanders to meddle
with the business ; but his brother, honest Robert, quite sick of fight-
ing, drinking, and governing in his own country, longed to go to
Palestine, and having no money (as usual), William gave him a sum
for which the other handed over his inheritance to him ; and so
Robert was got rid of, and William became King of England and
Duke of Normandy.
But he did not keep his kingdoms long. There is a tract of land
called the New Forest in Hampshire which has been called so ever
since the Conqueror's time. Once it was a thriving district covered
with farms and villages and churches, with many people living in it.
But conquering King William had a fancy to have a hunting-ground
there. Churches aud villages he burned down ; orchards and corn-
fields he laid waste ; men, women, and children, he drove pitilessly
existed ? Shame indeed ! Shame on you, for daring to insult our late away, and gave up the land to boar and deer. So the people
excellent Whig Ministry, our present admirable Conservative Cabinet,! starved and died, and he had his hunting-ground. And such a keen
Sir Robert, Lord John, and all, every minister that ever governed ! sportsman was he, and so tender and humane towards the dumb
us. They all promise to better us, they all never do so. Learn j animals, that he gave orders, if any man killed a boar, a deer, or
respect for your betters, young people, and do not break out into such j even a hare, he should be killed, or have his eyes put out. Up to
premature rebellion. (The children being silent, Miss T. put on a | a late period, our country enjoyed many of the blessings of that noble
less severe countenance and continued)— code of laws.
I will tell you a pleasant joke of that wag, his late Majesty King His Majesty King William Rufus loved sport as well as his royal
William Rufus. He put the kingdom into a great fury against the j father, and this New Forest above all. There were all sorts of le-
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
LITERARY INTELLIGENCE.
We understand that Mr. Shillibeer has placed one of his funeral con-
veyances at the disposal of a well-known dramatist, whose rooms, from
the accumulation of deceased melodrames, had become inconveniently
crowded. The unfortunate defunct are to be interred either at Harrow,
in accordance with their frightful character, or at Nunhead, as being
more appropriate to the peculiar position of their author.
Mr. Pennyline started one morning last week to Bayswater, on a tour
of observation, to watch the progress of the new buildings, and remark on
the occurrence of any accident among the men engaged on them. He
had the good fortune to witness the precipitation of a bricklayer's labourer
from the top of a ladder, when he immediately made the melancholy cir-
cumstance the subject of a very vigorous and impressive paragraph.
Mr. Silly boy, the popular author of the charming ballad Brush
back that Briny Tear," has another song on the same subject nearly
ready. It commences with "Wipe off that pearly drop," and is said to
be in many respects equal to its predecessor. It is, we believe, intended j hose! No tyranny ! no Normans !) In this afflicted naked country the
Normans, saying I have no doubt that they were our natural enemies,
and called a huge army together, with which, he said, he would go
and annihilate them. The army was obliged to assemble, for by the
laws of the country each nobleman, knight, thane, and landholder,
was bound according to the value of his land to furnish so many
soldiers, knowing that the king would come down on their estates
else ; and so being all come together, and ready to cross the water,
the king made them a speech.
" Friends, Countrymen, and Fellow Soldiers (said he) ; companions
of my toil, my feelings, and my fame ; the eyes of Europe are upon
you. You aie about to embark on a most dangerous enterprise ; you
will have to undergo the horrors of a sea-voyage, of which I need
not describe to you the discomforts (the army began to look very
blue). You will be landed in a hostile country, which has been laid
waste by me already in my first invasions, as also by the accursed
policy of the despot who governs it. {Cries of Down with Robert Short-
foe publication, but it is doubtful whether the gifted author will carry out
his intention so far as to publish it.
The new novel of the Crusaders of Clapham is said to be in the press ;
but we believe the fact to be, that t'ie only press it is in is the author's
large cupboard, where it is likely to continue.
The neat little romance of Knightsbridge as it is—Brompton as it
was—and Fulham as it ought to be, is still in the hands of a celebrated
bibliopole, who has promised an early perusal, with a view to an arrange-
ment for its speedy publication, if the incidents are not considered rather
too powerful for the present quiet taste which regulates book-reading. One
chapter, in which Fulham is compared to Elysium, and the ghost of Time
is represented as walking arm in arm with the shadow of Eternity in the
enclosure of Brompton - square, is said to be one of the most powerful pieces
of fiction that was ever written.
greater part of you will inevitably starve ; a considerable number
will be cut to pieces by the ferocious Norman soldiery, and even if
it please Heaven to crown my first cause with success, what will my
triumph benefit you, my friends ? You will be none the better for it ;
but will come back many of you without your arms and legs, and
not a penny richer than when you went. {Immense sensation.)
" Now, I appeal to you as men, as Englishmen, as fathers of families,
will it not be better to make a peaceful and honourable compromise
than to enter upon any such campaign ? Yes ! I knew you would
say yes, as becomes men of sense, men of honour—Englishmen, in a
word. (Hear, hear.) I ask you, then—your sovereign and father asks
you—will it not be better to pay me ten shillings a-piece all round,
and go home to your happy families—to your lovely wives, who will
thus run no risk of losing the partners of their beds—to smiling
children, who may still for many, many years have their fathers to
bless, maintain, and educate them? Officers, carry the hats round,
and take the sense of the army."
Putting his handkerchief to his eyes, the beneficent monarch here
sat down : and what was the consequence of his affecting appeal \ The
hats were sent round—the whole army saw the propriety of sub-
scribing—fifteen thousand pounds were paid down on the spot—a
UST before the breath was out of j bloody war was avoided—and thus, as the king said, all parties were
MISS TiCKLETOBY'S LECTURES ON
ENGLISH HISTORY.
LECTURE V.-WILLIAM RUFUS.
the Conqueror's body, William Ru-
fus, his second son (who had much
longer legs than his honest elder
benefited.
For all this, however, he was not long before he had them out again,
and took agreat number of his towns and castles from his brother Robert,
brother Robert), ran over to Eng- ! At last he got possession of his whole dukedom ; for at this time all
land, took possession of some castles ; Europe was seized with a strange fit of frenzjr, and hatred against
and his father's money, and, so forti- the Turks ; one Peter, a hermit, went abroad preaching hatred against
fied, had himself proclaimed King ! these unbelievers, and the necessity of taking Palestine from them, and
of England without any difficulty. ' murdering every mother's son of them. No less than a million of men
Honest Robert remained Duke of setoff on this errand. Three hundred thousandof them marched ahead,
Normandy ; and as for the third
sou, Prince Henry, though not so
handsomely provided for as his el-
without food or forethought, expecting that Heaven would provide
them with nourishment on their march, and give them the victory
over the Saracens. But this pious body was cut to pieces ; and as for
der brothers, it appears he managed the doings of the other seven hundred thousand, what heroes com-
to make both ends meet by robbing manded them, what dangers they overcame, what enchanters they
on his own account. destroyed, how they took the holy city, and what came of their con-
William's conduct on getting hold J quest—ail this may be read in the veracious history of one Tasso,
of the crown was so violent, that some of the nobles whom he plun- but has nothing to "do with the history of William Rufus.
dered were struck with remorse at having acknowledged him king
instead of honest Courthose, his elder brother. So they set up a sort
of rebellion, which Rufus quelled pretty easily, appealing to the
people to support him, and promising them ali sorts of good treat-
ment in return. The people believed him, fought for him, and when
they had done what he wanted, namely, quelled the rebellion, and
aided him in seizing hold of several of Robert's Norman castles and
towns—would you believe it?—William treated them not one bit
better than before ! (Cries of Shame).
At these exclamations Miss Tickletoby looked round very sternly.
Young people, young people (exclaimed she), I'm astonished at you.
Don't you know that such cries on your part are highly improper and
seditious ? Don't you know that by crying out " Shame" in that way,
you insult not only every monarch, but every ministry that ever
That shrewd monarch would not allow his islanders to meddle
with the business ; but his brother, honest Robert, quite sick of fight-
ing, drinking, and governing in his own country, longed to go to
Palestine, and having no money (as usual), William gave him a sum
for which the other handed over his inheritance to him ; and so
Robert was got rid of, and William became King of England and
Duke of Normandy.
But he did not keep his kingdoms long. There is a tract of land
called the New Forest in Hampshire which has been called so ever
since the Conqueror's time. Once it was a thriving district covered
with farms and villages and churches, with many people living in it.
But conquering King William had a fancy to have a hunting-ground
there. Churches aud villages he burned down ; orchards and corn-
fields he laid waste ; men, women, and children, he drove pitilessly
existed ? Shame indeed ! Shame on you, for daring to insult our late away, and gave up the land to boar and deer. So the people
excellent Whig Ministry, our present admirable Conservative Cabinet,! starved and died, and he had his hunting-ground. And such a keen
Sir Robert, Lord John, and all, every minister that ever governed ! sportsman was he, and so tender and humane towards the dumb
us. They all promise to better us, they all never do so. Learn j animals, that he gave orders, if any man killed a boar, a deer, or
respect for your betters, young people, and do not break out into such j even a hare, he should be killed, or have his eyes put out. Up to
premature rebellion. (The children being silent, Miss T. put on a | a late period, our country enjoyed many of the blessings of that noble
less severe countenance and continued)— code of laws.
I will tell you a pleasant joke of that wag, his late Majesty King His Majesty King William Rufus loved sport as well as his royal
William Rufus. He put the kingdom into a great fury against the j father, and this New Forest above all. There were all sorts of le-