DOI Seite / Zitierlink:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16513#0044
32
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
to reduce her from a goddess to a dummy. He knocked off the tawdry
tinsel of her head-dress, till he had reduced it to show like what it really
was—a mere fool's-cap. He bestowed a handsome thwack upon her head,
that all might hear how hollow and empty it sounded. He drove one of
his keenest darts through the place where her heart should have been, to
convince the beholders, by her obvious insensibility to the wound, that she
was without one. He dashed away her fallacious externals of elegance,
and displayed the contrivances beneath them for screwing on this part,
puffing out that, and transmogrifying the other—that every one might see
what a thing of lies and nothingness she intrinsically was. The more |
effectually to disparage aud bring her into contempt, he also attacked her
priests and ministers, the hierophants of fiddle-faddle, who spoke, and
sang, and wrote paragraphs in the newspapers to her praise and glory ; j
till at last " Fashionable Intelligence " became a theme of laughter even
to scorn.
He then seized Pride and Vanity by the mane (they had no bridle), and,
stripping them of their feathers and fineries, he bade people look and see
what sorry jades they were. And having thus exhibited them hi all their
meanness to derision, he demanded if it was to be borne that to these vile
things should be immolated youth, and health, and beauty; that they
should be allowed to batten on the agonies, and tears, and wasting flesh,
and blood of an innocent girl ? At first his words seemed as foolishness
to the delicate votaresses of Fashion, by whose means, unwittingly, the
creatures had been pampered ; and they only thought that the speaker was
a coarse, rough person, a savage whose delight was to excruciate by his
ferocious invectives the refined sensibilities of "ton but Hercules, by a
wave of his magic club, raised before their eyes a panorama of the ghastly
wretchedness of which they had been the ignorant cause ; and soon, on
many a flaunting cheek, the factitious rose of the paint-pot was merged in
the blush of shame. He then (in the most gentlemanlike manner pos-
sible) applied his magic weapon to their habiliments, when lo ! there
ensued a marvel. The snowy cambric became crimson ; the pink satin
yellow, like the cheek of sickness ; and the glossy silk dull, like its faded
eye. Their finely-strung nerves thrilled with horror ; but when the
elegant corset embraced the form which it invested with a glow like that
of hectic fever, they screamed aloud with affright. Another flourish of
the club annulled the transformation, and their terrors were relieved ;
but conviction had been wrought in their minds, and they tremblingly re-
signed Pride and Vanity into the hands of Hercules, to be dealt with ac-
cording to his pleasure.
In consequence of the renunciation of Pride and Vanity, a considerable
impairment took place of the splendour of " Drawing-rooms," " Soirees,"
the boxes of the Italian Opera, and Regent-street of a summer's after-
noon. The remaining partisans of fiddle-faddle sighed bitterly over this
altered state of things, and lamented with much pathos the departed
glories wherein they had lived, and moved, and had their being. But to
most eyes, Beauty gained more in its adornments of Goodness and Mercy,
than it lost in the matter of silk and satin.
It will be inquired, what did Hercules do with Pride and Vanity I
Some say that he turned them loose in Paris, where they were, after a
long time, annihilated by Common Sense. But the more prevailing opinion
is, that he sacrificed them to Jupiter.
Mokt Lunacy.— A testimonial has been presented to Mr. Moon for " ins
patronage of the Fine Arts! "
(Jclcgrapfju: Bcspatcfjcs.
[The following did not appear in any part of our impression of last
week :—]
" Strand, July 14.
" The Mail from Hounslow has not arrived. There is a report that the
driver was overtaken by drink on the Isleworth frontier.
" Some Bohemian stragglers, on their road from Hampton, had succeeded
in forcing an entrance into the hen-roosts of Farmer Coulter.
"The Brompton Gazette contains 110 fresh information. The parish
was quiet, and the beadle had declared his attachment to the juste-milieu,
or half-and-half.
" The supernumerary peasants of the two great theatres contemplate
an attack upon the fortress of Ham, at the corner of Bow-street. Desti-
tution is the pretext, but we have not heard the result.
" The occupation of Monkey Island, above Windsor, by some subjects of
Slough, gave rise to a warm contest on the night of the Regatta.
" Hackney retains its wonted tranquillity."
THE THAMES REGATTA-
The naval spirit which actuates every British Heart of Oak is
manifesting itself every day, and it hurst out last week in peculiar
force in the shape of a regatta at Hammersmith. The love of the
people of this country for nautical pursuits is one of the proudest
traits in the national character, and the placards announcing the
Thames Regatta placed hundreds of British bosoms under an equal
number of striped calico rowing shirts. The enormous piles, ticketed
"All at 3 and 6," were seen sensibly to diminish in the early part of
the week, and the impetus thus given to British Commerce was
happily linked with British seamanship. The omnibuses to the
Hammersmith coast were crowded with the sons of Britannia, who
seemed full of the aquatic spirit, and mounted the top of the roof
with a variety of naval expressions quite in character with the day
over which Neptune had been appointed president. An application
for the box-seat was couched in an allegorical allusion to sitting
yard arm and yard-arm with the coachman, while those who had
umbrellas talked of " stowing them away and indeed everybody
seemed to think it was necessary to adapt himself in some measure
to the semi-maritime nature of the proceedings.
The Regatta itself it would be rather difficult to describe. Like
all other things of the kind, the whole was involved in considerable
mystery, and people found themselves laying heavy bets on boats
that had nothing whatever to do with the races.
The little episode of the Siege of Hammer-
smith Bridge gave a variety to the more peace-
ful proceedings of the day. It seems that the
Bridge Company, with an amiable desire to
accommodate the public, ran up a scaffolding
over the footpath on each side of the bridge,
and kindly threw open the same at two-and-six-
pence a-liead on the side facing the regatta, but
with a burst of liberality quite in keeping with
the state of its finances, gace to the first six hun-
dred payers of the halfpenny-toll no less than
six hundred seats, with their backs turned to the scene of the amuse-
ments. It was, however, discovered that the seats at a halfpenny
saw as much as the seats at half-a-crown, for if the former had their
backs to the race, the latter had their eyes blocked up with balus-
trades, iron chains, fancy fretwork, and other materials forming part
of the structure. A party of twelve hundred malcontents were thus
in a state which the historian would call " ripe for rebellion," when
a Bird flew on to the bridge, with an Act of Parliament in one hand
and a gingham umbrella in the other, pointing to a clause in the
former with the brass tip of the latter. He insisted on carrying
by storm the footpath, for which he had paid the toll authorized
by the Act, and finding it occupied by six hundred visitors, he
marched boldly over twelve hundred feet, or, in other words, six
thousand toes, while the toll-keeper "held on" to the skirt of his
York wrapper. The people, irritated by their toes being trodden
on, maddened by the intense heat, and vexed at having paid half-
ar-crown for seeing nothing, burst out into wild shrieks of discontent,
and, almost driven to frenzy by the thick boots of Mr. Bird, called
out for summary vengeance on the unhappy toll-taker. The secre-
tary of the company had already fled for safety and for succour !
Waterloo was won by a Blucher, but the toll-taker was saved by a
pair of Bluchers with a policeman in them, who caught the Bird,
and caged him.
a drawn bet.
v M
* bad pk1ncjpal.
Thus ended the Siege of Hammersmith Bridge, which terminated
with frightful loss to the toll-taker ; for while he left the redoubt at
the bar, the public rushed indiscriminately through the barrier.
Large Exportation of Gold.—The Ariel Government steamer left Dover
for the Continent last week, having on board—the Hereditary Grand Duke and
Duchess of Mecklenburg Strelitz.
PUNCH'S CARTOONS!
pUNC
3H, in a future Number will make known to the country the
names of his Artists, and of the Prizes awarded to them.
Cartoon's III. and IV. next week.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
to reduce her from a goddess to a dummy. He knocked off the tawdry
tinsel of her head-dress, till he had reduced it to show like what it really
was—a mere fool's-cap. He bestowed a handsome thwack upon her head,
that all might hear how hollow and empty it sounded. He drove one of
his keenest darts through the place where her heart should have been, to
convince the beholders, by her obvious insensibility to the wound, that she
was without one. He dashed away her fallacious externals of elegance,
and displayed the contrivances beneath them for screwing on this part,
puffing out that, and transmogrifying the other—that every one might see
what a thing of lies and nothingness she intrinsically was. The more |
effectually to disparage aud bring her into contempt, he also attacked her
priests and ministers, the hierophants of fiddle-faddle, who spoke, and
sang, and wrote paragraphs in the newspapers to her praise and glory ; j
till at last " Fashionable Intelligence " became a theme of laughter even
to scorn.
He then seized Pride and Vanity by the mane (they had no bridle), and,
stripping them of their feathers and fineries, he bade people look and see
what sorry jades they were. And having thus exhibited them hi all their
meanness to derision, he demanded if it was to be borne that to these vile
things should be immolated youth, and health, and beauty; that they
should be allowed to batten on the agonies, and tears, and wasting flesh,
and blood of an innocent girl ? At first his words seemed as foolishness
to the delicate votaresses of Fashion, by whose means, unwittingly, the
creatures had been pampered ; and they only thought that the speaker was
a coarse, rough person, a savage whose delight was to excruciate by his
ferocious invectives the refined sensibilities of "ton but Hercules, by a
wave of his magic club, raised before their eyes a panorama of the ghastly
wretchedness of which they had been the ignorant cause ; and soon, on
many a flaunting cheek, the factitious rose of the paint-pot was merged in
the blush of shame. He then (in the most gentlemanlike manner pos-
sible) applied his magic weapon to their habiliments, when lo ! there
ensued a marvel. The snowy cambric became crimson ; the pink satin
yellow, like the cheek of sickness ; and the glossy silk dull, like its faded
eye. Their finely-strung nerves thrilled with horror ; but when the
elegant corset embraced the form which it invested with a glow like that
of hectic fever, they screamed aloud with affright. Another flourish of
the club annulled the transformation, and their terrors were relieved ;
but conviction had been wrought in their minds, and they tremblingly re-
signed Pride and Vanity into the hands of Hercules, to be dealt with ac-
cording to his pleasure.
In consequence of the renunciation of Pride and Vanity, a considerable
impairment took place of the splendour of " Drawing-rooms," " Soirees,"
the boxes of the Italian Opera, and Regent-street of a summer's after-
noon. The remaining partisans of fiddle-faddle sighed bitterly over this
altered state of things, and lamented with much pathos the departed
glories wherein they had lived, and moved, and had their being. But to
most eyes, Beauty gained more in its adornments of Goodness and Mercy,
than it lost in the matter of silk and satin.
It will be inquired, what did Hercules do with Pride and Vanity I
Some say that he turned them loose in Paris, where they were, after a
long time, annihilated by Common Sense. But the more prevailing opinion
is, that he sacrificed them to Jupiter.
Mokt Lunacy.— A testimonial has been presented to Mr. Moon for " ins
patronage of the Fine Arts! "
(Jclcgrapfju: Bcspatcfjcs.
[The following did not appear in any part of our impression of last
week :—]
" Strand, July 14.
" The Mail from Hounslow has not arrived. There is a report that the
driver was overtaken by drink on the Isleworth frontier.
" Some Bohemian stragglers, on their road from Hampton, had succeeded
in forcing an entrance into the hen-roosts of Farmer Coulter.
"The Brompton Gazette contains 110 fresh information. The parish
was quiet, and the beadle had declared his attachment to the juste-milieu,
or half-and-half.
" The supernumerary peasants of the two great theatres contemplate
an attack upon the fortress of Ham, at the corner of Bow-street. Desti-
tution is the pretext, but we have not heard the result.
" The occupation of Monkey Island, above Windsor, by some subjects of
Slough, gave rise to a warm contest on the night of the Regatta.
" Hackney retains its wonted tranquillity."
THE THAMES REGATTA-
The naval spirit which actuates every British Heart of Oak is
manifesting itself every day, and it hurst out last week in peculiar
force in the shape of a regatta at Hammersmith. The love of the
people of this country for nautical pursuits is one of the proudest
traits in the national character, and the placards announcing the
Thames Regatta placed hundreds of British bosoms under an equal
number of striped calico rowing shirts. The enormous piles, ticketed
"All at 3 and 6," were seen sensibly to diminish in the early part of
the week, and the impetus thus given to British Commerce was
happily linked with British seamanship. The omnibuses to the
Hammersmith coast were crowded with the sons of Britannia, who
seemed full of the aquatic spirit, and mounted the top of the roof
with a variety of naval expressions quite in character with the day
over which Neptune had been appointed president. An application
for the box-seat was couched in an allegorical allusion to sitting
yard arm and yard-arm with the coachman, while those who had
umbrellas talked of " stowing them away and indeed everybody
seemed to think it was necessary to adapt himself in some measure
to the semi-maritime nature of the proceedings.
The Regatta itself it would be rather difficult to describe. Like
all other things of the kind, the whole was involved in considerable
mystery, and people found themselves laying heavy bets on boats
that had nothing whatever to do with the races.
The little episode of the Siege of Hammer-
smith Bridge gave a variety to the more peace-
ful proceedings of the day. It seems that the
Bridge Company, with an amiable desire to
accommodate the public, ran up a scaffolding
over the footpath on each side of the bridge,
and kindly threw open the same at two-and-six-
pence a-liead on the side facing the regatta, but
with a burst of liberality quite in keeping with
the state of its finances, gace to the first six hun-
dred payers of the halfpenny-toll no less than
six hundred seats, with their backs turned to the scene of the amuse-
ments. It was, however, discovered that the seats at a halfpenny
saw as much as the seats at half-a-crown, for if the former had their
backs to the race, the latter had their eyes blocked up with balus-
trades, iron chains, fancy fretwork, and other materials forming part
of the structure. A party of twelve hundred malcontents were thus
in a state which the historian would call " ripe for rebellion," when
a Bird flew on to the bridge, with an Act of Parliament in one hand
and a gingham umbrella in the other, pointing to a clause in the
former with the brass tip of the latter. He insisted on carrying
by storm the footpath, for which he had paid the toll authorized
by the Act, and finding it occupied by six hundred visitors, he
marched boldly over twelve hundred feet, or, in other words, six
thousand toes, while the toll-keeper "held on" to the skirt of his
York wrapper. The people, irritated by their toes being trodden
on, maddened by the intense heat, and vexed at having paid half-
ar-crown for seeing nothing, burst out into wild shrieks of discontent,
and, almost driven to frenzy by the thick boots of Mr. Bird, called
out for summary vengeance on the unhappy toll-taker. The secre-
tary of the company had already fled for safety and for succour !
Waterloo was won by a Blucher, but the toll-taker was saved by a
pair of Bluchers with a policeman in them, who caught the Bird,
and caged him.
a drawn bet.
v M
* bad pk1ncjpal.
Thus ended the Siege of Hammersmith Bridge, which terminated
with frightful loss to the toll-taker ; for while he left the redoubt at
the bar, the public rushed indiscriminately through the barrier.
Large Exportation of Gold.—The Ariel Government steamer left Dover
for the Continent last week, having on board—the Hereditary Grand Duke and
Duchess of Mecklenburg Strelitz.
PUNCH'S CARTOONS!
pUNC
3H, in a future Number will make known to the country the
names of his Artists, and of the Prizes awarded to them.
Cartoon's III. and IV. next week.