DOI Page / Citation link:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16513#0054
42
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
When Linda is told that the wedding commences,
She takes a deliberate leave of her senses ;
And sings about this, about that, and the other—
Her rival—the falsehood of man—and her mother !
In fact, she most thoroughly mad may be reckon'd
When the curtain descends—on herself and
Act Seco.nd.
PUNCH'S HANDBOOKS
FOR HOLIDAYS SPENT IN AND ABOUT LONDON.
thi
new cut.
his delightful locality, forming a cut
V .. S direct from Rowland Hill's Chapel,
in Blackfriars' Road, to Watchorn's
Retail Establishment at the Marsh
Gate, is a favourite resort of holiday-
makers. It can be approached from
either of the three bridges, and offers
one of the most pleasing collections
of the products of British industry
and manufacture in London, far ex-
ceeding the Polytechnic Institution or
Adelaide Gallery, more especially at
night, when its hundreds of lanterns
are illuminated, rivalling the dazzling
' O O
splendour of the Chinese Exhibition,
is halfpence—its principal traffic lies
the dominion of Ethiopian dolls; the
theatrical district of persecuted maid-servants and acknowledged heroines;
and the paradise of al fresco refreshments, both to eat and drink, the
The current coin of the New Cut
in marine stores. It is, moreover,
staple article
being
the celebrated kidney-puddings, which fashionable
company come a great way to eat, in the same manner as the maids-of-
honour at Richmond.
The stalls for the sale of these delicious preparations may be easily dis-
covered through the medium of the transparencies with which they are
adorned, and the cartoons upon these lanterns form not the least inter-
esting portion of the things to be noticed. An elaborate one at present
is four-sided, about nine inches high by six across. The front merely
contains the announcement of " Beef, Eel, and Kidney lJuddiugs, One
Penny each"-—the distinction being perfectly imaginary. On the north
side is portrayed Mr. T. Mathews, as Clown, surreptitiously devouring
a pudding, whilst the attention of the traveller is arrested by the inscription
over his head, of " Halloo! lialloo! halloo! the original inventor !!! "
from which it is inferred that Mr. T. Mathews claims that honour. On
the eastern face is a spirited representation of Mr. T. P. Cooke rescuing
a kidney-pudding from the hands of smugglers; and the south aspect!
formerly contained portraits of Prince Albert and Queen Victoria, in their
robes,as patrons of kidney-puddings; but at some remote epoch the candle ^
within the frame tumbled against the transparency and burnt it away, so j
that only the legs now remain.
Near this spot may be encountered the celebrated alchemist, who turns j
half-pennies into half-crowns, and brass thimbles into silver ones, by
means of a secret composition, whose merits he vaunts as follows : —
" Nowr, it's as innocent as milk, and strong as brandy: everybody buys
it,—what a sad thing ! Now, it can be put in the mouth without harm,
hurt, or hindrance. Now, it's made of calcined silver, sweet oil, saltpetre,
and a secret chemical preparation. Now, everybody buys it—what a pity !
Now, a penny lump is sufficient to plate a pair of candlesticks, six spoons,
and a snuffer-tray. Now, if it makes a brass button look like this, what
will it do upon a plated surface 1 Now, I purchase all my own silver,
and so 1 can afford to sell it cheap. Everybody buys it,—what a sad
thing ! Sold again !—who's the next lucky customer ? "
As Milan is celebrated with Damascus for its steel blades, so is the
New Cut for its basket-hilted iron swords, which are made for terrific
combats only, at one shilling a piece. They are chiefly used by British
seamen, to protect females in distress ; and have a charmed power, in trial
by battle, of always giving the victory to rightful virtue, whilst they share
the success with the author in any startling Surrey or Victoria melo-
drama, as the popular exclamation of " Bravo, Hughes ! " at the former
establishment fully testifies. It is worthy of notice, that if the interest of
a piece is flagging, a desperate combat with New Cut swords will always
pull it up again. They have the further advantage, after a few savage
assaults, of being converted into very good saws.
Science finds a home in the New Cut, At evening, a small temple,
with coloured glass windows, placed upon a three-legged stand, contains a
microscopic exhibition, to which the eye of the spectator is admitted for
a halfpenny. The great gun of the objects is a flea, only equalled by the !
diamond beetle, who turns round upon a spit, and the insects in a drop of
water, myriads of which are swallowed, upon the authority of the show-1
man, every time we drink. Astronomical observations are also carried
on at night, and the moon may be seen at the outlay also of a halfpenny,
and whatever you chance to have in your pockets for the time being.
The most fashionable period of the day in the New Cut is during the
entr'actes of the Victoria-Theatre, when the audience turn out for refresh-
ment, and the promenade then presents a coup d'csil of gaiety, which must
be witnessed to be appreciated. The Victoria enjoys a patent for per-
forming the legitimate melodrama, but has no control over the small
theatres in its immediate vicinity, where the most successful pisces arc-
reproduced in cosmoramic boxes capable of accommodating the heads of
two people. The time occupied in these representations is usually half a
minute an act. In conclusion, the traveller may bear in mind that pro-
visions and lodgings are equally cheap in the New Cut—that omnibuses
leave the bridges every five minutes for its extremities—and that it is
perfectly impossible to name any article, however uncommon or far-
fetched, which may not be purchased second-hand in its wonderfully
diversified sheds and stores—a great consideration with persons about to
marry.
The New Novel. By Lord William Lennox.
[Bv tampering with the piinter's devil, who was intercepted by Boy Dirk,
whilst conveying some coirected proofs back to the office, we are enabled to pre-
sent our readers with the portion of a chapter in a novel, from the pen of the
accomplished author of The Tuft Hunter. For force of language and descrip -
tion it equals anything of the writers who have gone before him.]
CHAPTER VII.*
" There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune." (a)
Unpublished volume of Poema by the Author.
One crime ever draws on another ; justice will revolt against fraud, and
usurpation requires security. (6) And thus Eustace sped on his course,
like the wind which roared over moor and meadow, hill and flat, until it
got out to sea, where it met with other winds similarly disposed, and made
a night of it. (c)
Ye who listen with credulity to the promises of hope (d)—who expect
that it is an easy task to pluck bright honour front the pale-faced moon (e)
—who ought to consider yourselves, separately, not as a gentleman who
gives a private or eleemosynary treat, but rather as one who keeps a
public ordinary, at which all persons are welcome for their money (/)—
who feel that Rome was not built in a day, and that one story is good
until another is told (^r)—attend to the course of this history.
On the terrace of a palace, lifting to eternal summer its marble walls, (h
shut out- from the rude world by Alpine hills, the lady of his love was
seated on the evening after the events of the last chapter; and at that
sweet hour which wakes the wish and melU the heart, (i) she poured forth
the following strain over the dark blue v. at-ers of the wild unbounded
sea. (k)
l. (0
Fare thee well ! and if for ever,
Think upon her just the same;
For she never blamed him—never,
But received him when he came.
Go, forget me !—why should sorrow
O'er thy brow its sadness fling P
Fortune may return to-morrow,
Whilst Barbadoes bells shall ring.
2.
1 've watched with thee the twilight stealing;
Of whose blisses, to my heart
Memory will bring back the feeling -
Come like shadows, so depart.
As 1 view these scenes so charming,
Something asks, " What is the spell ?"
With fond thoughts my heart is warming :
All is lost now—oh, farewell!"
At this instant a gondola shot rapidly across the rippling path of light,
which the moon was throwing upon the waters, (m)
A new Thoroughfare
From the Quadrant to Piccadilly, through Messrs. Swan & Edgar's shop,
was opened on Monday morning, and continued so until Saturday night.
Hundreds availed themselves of the accommodation in the course of the
week. Mr. Filch, the original designer, is about to submit to Government
his plans, already laid down, for a short cut from Bow-street to the Old
Bailey.
A Con for Collier.
" Was the ' first player' in ' Hamlet' a cigar smoker ? "
" No."
" No ! From what authority do you draw that conclusion 5'
" The words of Hamlet—
" ' What 's a cuba (Hecuba) to him or he to a Cuba? ' "
* Determined not to be again forestalled in pointing out the authorities ot our pet
author, we here subjoin them:—(a) Shakspere. (b) Goldsmith, (c) Dickens. a
Adapted from Dr. Johnson, (e) Shak^ere. (/) Fielding, (g) .Margins of Maunder .,
Treasury of Knowledge, (h) Bulwer. (t) Byron. (A") Composition. (/) Ditto, from
various living and defunct authors, (m) Cooper.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
When Linda is told that the wedding commences,
She takes a deliberate leave of her senses ;
And sings about this, about that, and the other—
Her rival—the falsehood of man—and her mother !
In fact, she most thoroughly mad may be reckon'd
When the curtain descends—on herself and
Act Seco.nd.
PUNCH'S HANDBOOKS
FOR HOLIDAYS SPENT IN AND ABOUT LONDON.
thi
new cut.
his delightful locality, forming a cut
V .. S direct from Rowland Hill's Chapel,
in Blackfriars' Road, to Watchorn's
Retail Establishment at the Marsh
Gate, is a favourite resort of holiday-
makers. It can be approached from
either of the three bridges, and offers
one of the most pleasing collections
of the products of British industry
and manufacture in London, far ex-
ceeding the Polytechnic Institution or
Adelaide Gallery, more especially at
night, when its hundreds of lanterns
are illuminated, rivalling the dazzling
' O O
splendour of the Chinese Exhibition,
is halfpence—its principal traffic lies
the dominion of Ethiopian dolls; the
theatrical district of persecuted maid-servants and acknowledged heroines;
and the paradise of al fresco refreshments, both to eat and drink, the
The current coin of the New Cut
in marine stores. It is, moreover,
staple article
being
the celebrated kidney-puddings, which fashionable
company come a great way to eat, in the same manner as the maids-of-
honour at Richmond.
The stalls for the sale of these delicious preparations may be easily dis-
covered through the medium of the transparencies with which they are
adorned, and the cartoons upon these lanterns form not the least inter-
esting portion of the things to be noticed. An elaborate one at present
is four-sided, about nine inches high by six across. The front merely
contains the announcement of " Beef, Eel, and Kidney lJuddiugs, One
Penny each"-—the distinction being perfectly imaginary. On the north
side is portrayed Mr. T. Mathews, as Clown, surreptitiously devouring
a pudding, whilst the attention of the traveller is arrested by the inscription
over his head, of " Halloo! lialloo! halloo! the original inventor !!! "
from which it is inferred that Mr. T. Mathews claims that honour. On
the eastern face is a spirited representation of Mr. T. P. Cooke rescuing
a kidney-pudding from the hands of smugglers; and the south aspect!
formerly contained portraits of Prince Albert and Queen Victoria, in their
robes,as patrons of kidney-puddings; but at some remote epoch the candle ^
within the frame tumbled against the transparency and burnt it away, so j
that only the legs now remain.
Near this spot may be encountered the celebrated alchemist, who turns j
half-pennies into half-crowns, and brass thimbles into silver ones, by
means of a secret composition, whose merits he vaunts as follows : —
" Nowr, it's as innocent as milk, and strong as brandy: everybody buys
it,—what a sad thing ! Now, it can be put in the mouth without harm,
hurt, or hindrance. Now, it's made of calcined silver, sweet oil, saltpetre,
and a secret chemical preparation. Now, everybody buys it—what a pity !
Now, a penny lump is sufficient to plate a pair of candlesticks, six spoons,
and a snuffer-tray. Now, if it makes a brass button look like this, what
will it do upon a plated surface 1 Now, I purchase all my own silver,
and so 1 can afford to sell it cheap. Everybody buys it,—what a sad
thing ! Sold again !—who's the next lucky customer ? "
As Milan is celebrated with Damascus for its steel blades, so is the
New Cut for its basket-hilted iron swords, which are made for terrific
combats only, at one shilling a piece. They are chiefly used by British
seamen, to protect females in distress ; and have a charmed power, in trial
by battle, of always giving the victory to rightful virtue, whilst they share
the success with the author in any startling Surrey or Victoria melo-
drama, as the popular exclamation of " Bravo, Hughes ! " at the former
establishment fully testifies. It is worthy of notice, that if the interest of
a piece is flagging, a desperate combat with New Cut swords will always
pull it up again. They have the further advantage, after a few savage
assaults, of being converted into very good saws.
Science finds a home in the New Cut, At evening, a small temple,
with coloured glass windows, placed upon a three-legged stand, contains a
microscopic exhibition, to which the eye of the spectator is admitted for
a halfpenny. The great gun of the objects is a flea, only equalled by the !
diamond beetle, who turns round upon a spit, and the insects in a drop of
water, myriads of which are swallowed, upon the authority of the show-1
man, every time we drink. Astronomical observations are also carried
on at night, and the moon may be seen at the outlay also of a halfpenny,
and whatever you chance to have in your pockets for the time being.
The most fashionable period of the day in the New Cut is during the
entr'actes of the Victoria-Theatre, when the audience turn out for refresh-
ment, and the promenade then presents a coup d'csil of gaiety, which must
be witnessed to be appreciated. The Victoria enjoys a patent for per-
forming the legitimate melodrama, but has no control over the small
theatres in its immediate vicinity, where the most successful pisces arc-
reproduced in cosmoramic boxes capable of accommodating the heads of
two people. The time occupied in these representations is usually half a
minute an act. In conclusion, the traveller may bear in mind that pro-
visions and lodgings are equally cheap in the New Cut—that omnibuses
leave the bridges every five minutes for its extremities—and that it is
perfectly impossible to name any article, however uncommon or far-
fetched, which may not be purchased second-hand in its wonderfully
diversified sheds and stores—a great consideration with persons about to
marry.
The New Novel. By Lord William Lennox.
[Bv tampering with the piinter's devil, who was intercepted by Boy Dirk,
whilst conveying some coirected proofs back to the office, we are enabled to pre-
sent our readers with the portion of a chapter in a novel, from the pen of the
accomplished author of The Tuft Hunter. For force of language and descrip -
tion it equals anything of the writers who have gone before him.]
CHAPTER VII.*
" There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune." (a)
Unpublished volume of Poema by the Author.
One crime ever draws on another ; justice will revolt against fraud, and
usurpation requires security. (6) And thus Eustace sped on his course,
like the wind which roared over moor and meadow, hill and flat, until it
got out to sea, where it met with other winds similarly disposed, and made
a night of it. (c)
Ye who listen with credulity to the promises of hope (d)—who expect
that it is an easy task to pluck bright honour front the pale-faced moon (e)
—who ought to consider yourselves, separately, not as a gentleman who
gives a private or eleemosynary treat, but rather as one who keeps a
public ordinary, at which all persons are welcome for their money (/)—
who feel that Rome was not built in a day, and that one story is good
until another is told (^r)—attend to the course of this history.
On the terrace of a palace, lifting to eternal summer its marble walls, (h
shut out- from the rude world by Alpine hills, the lady of his love was
seated on the evening after the events of the last chapter; and at that
sweet hour which wakes the wish and melU the heart, (i) she poured forth
the following strain over the dark blue v. at-ers of the wild unbounded
sea. (k)
l. (0
Fare thee well ! and if for ever,
Think upon her just the same;
For she never blamed him—never,
But received him when he came.
Go, forget me !—why should sorrow
O'er thy brow its sadness fling P
Fortune may return to-morrow,
Whilst Barbadoes bells shall ring.
2.
1 've watched with thee the twilight stealing;
Of whose blisses, to my heart
Memory will bring back the feeling -
Come like shadows, so depart.
As 1 view these scenes so charming,
Something asks, " What is the spell ?"
With fond thoughts my heart is warming :
All is lost now—oh, farewell!"
At this instant a gondola shot rapidly across the rippling path of light,
which the moon was throwing upon the waters, (m)
A new Thoroughfare
From the Quadrant to Piccadilly, through Messrs. Swan & Edgar's shop,
was opened on Monday morning, and continued so until Saturday night.
Hundreds availed themselves of the accommodation in the course of the
week. Mr. Filch, the original designer, is about to submit to Government
his plans, already laid down, for a short cut from Bow-street to the Old
Bailey.
A Con for Collier.
" Was the ' first player' in ' Hamlet' a cigar smoker ? "
" No."
" No ! From what authority do you draw that conclusion 5'
" The words of Hamlet—
" ' What 's a cuba (Hecuba) to him or he to a Cuba? ' "
* Determined not to be again forestalled in pointing out the authorities ot our pet
author, we here subjoin them:—(a) Shakspere. (b) Goldsmith, (c) Dickens. a
Adapted from Dr. Johnson, (e) Shak^ere. (/) Fielding, (g) .Margins of Maunder .,
Treasury of Knowledge, (h) Bulwer. (t) Byron. (A") Composition. (/) Ditto, from
various living and defunct authors, (m) Cooper.