DOI Page / Citation link:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16513#0106
<14
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
SHIPPING INTELLIGENCE.
SONGS OF THE POLICE FORCE.
A dutch smack.
The Morning Post on the breakers in the Strand. All hands were
■called to the pumps; when Jenkins, among others, was caught hold of.
Water was rising fast in the hold, and when our last accounts came away,
there were serious thoughts among the owners (all of whom were in the
vessel) of throwing Jenkins overboard.
THE BRITISH ASSOCIATION AT CO.RK.
As a drowning man sometimes catches at a straw, this sinking Associa-
tion shows its tact in trying to hold on at Cork. Cork is also well adapted
Tor the meetings of this Association, on account of the ancient castle of
Blarney being in its immediate neighbourhood. We understand that
another inducement to the Association to pitch its tent this year at Cork,
THE COVE 07 CORK.
was the hope that the well-known Cove of that place might perhaps be
induced to attend some of the meetings.
Among the earliest papers to be read at the Society, one will be devoted
to an Essay on the Ruins of Blarney, including a plan for its restoration.
If Blarney is to be restored at Cork, the best way of effecting the object is
to allow the British Association to be permanently located there.
There is also a Cave in the neighbourhood, so deep that no one has found
the end. We trust the Association will explore this cave, and need hardly
say we shall be glad to hear of the whole Association being at the bottom
of it.
Perhaps the most interesting thing about Cork is the vast number of
lumps of stone, vulgarly called David's Altars. The London public saw
■something of them last year in the opera of Norma ; and it is said that
the lessee of Covent Garden has, in the handsomest manner, placed some
of the flats on which they are painted at the disposal of the Association,
who have declined the offer, on account of their having already more
flats than they know how to accommodate.
We understand that Professor Wollops has prepared a paper on the
•eccentric motion of the common jack-towel round the ordinary roller, and
he hopes to follow it up next year with a dissertation on dust, preceded
by a few facts on flue.
The authorities of Cork are doing all they can to meet the wishes of the
Association, and one of the corporation has already sent round cards con- ;
taining the terms of his " Evening School for Adults." The station-
house will be open at any hour.
Professor Spooney's prize essay, on "The Phenomena of Fixed Weather-
cocks," will be read on an early day ; and in the course of the week, !
the same Professor's paper on " Suspended Animation, in connection
with Suspended Payments," is expected to follow.
Draw the staff, ye gallant crew,
Strike for order and the law;
Hearts are stout, if hands are few,
Draw the staff, policemen, draw.
While in Scotia's Yard you stand,
With your buckles flashing light,
Ne'er did such a goodly band
Meet the passing stranger's sight.
Draw the staff, and strike the blow,
Hit about on every side ;
Lay the noisy cabmen low,
Shins belabour, groans deride.
Let the lantern be your guide,
Darkness you may boldly spurn ;
Draw the lantern, lift the slide,
On the foe the bull's-eye turn.
Draw the staff, policemen, draw !
Boldly brandish, smartly smite ;
Never fear ! the pliant law
Gives the bold policeman right.
JENKINS ON "THE DRAMA."
Jenkins is a thief—a pickpocket ; yea, an unblushing prig ! Jenkins
threatens to " write " a series of papers on the stage ! And, in Brydges-
street, we saw a wretched monkey, escaped from the arms of a Savoyard,
frisking over the portico of Drury-Lane Theatre. The little presumptuous
beast approached the statue of Shakspere; and now pawing the face of the
bard with its foul and fetid paws, and now pulling his nose, and scratching
the poet's leg, the filthy little brute squatted itself upon the head of
Shakspehe, and there sat, screeching, and whistling, and making all sorts
of monkey noises. That was the shadow of the coming event ; that was
Jenkins (unsavoury Man of the People)—Jenkins on the Drama.
Proceed we to the felony of Jenkins. He says—
"Every successful national drama has more or lesshitherto represented the prominent
temper or habits of its age What then is the course adopted by our modern
writers ? for we cannot conscientiously [think of the conscience of Jenkins !] call thom
dramatists. Instead of searching in the actual habits of the time being for themes or
thoughts, they but repeat the extinct expositions of extinct existences, in feebler and
more deadened colours."
Much of this is truth, and was therefore never discovered by Jenkins.
No ; the whole of it has been stolen from the critic of the Times (a gentle-
man as far above Jenkins as man is above a toadstool), whose theory it
is—a theory he has all along expounded with gentleness, fine taste, and
high scholarship ; and now comes in the petty-larceny Jenkins, and steals
the discovery for his own !
The Do-nothing Policy.—Ministers used to be known for their "savoir
faire but Sii Robert Peel seems to be distinguished for his savoir hien faire !
Nummary of Xcfos arttr public (Opinion.
A general strike took place yesterday at noon in the clock shops of
High Holborn, which was accompanied by a turn-out of the military over
the large dials in the window. A meeting of the workmen took place also
at one in the great room of the Alamode Beef House adjoining, where the
principal objects of their attendance were discussed. They returned
quietly to work at two, and on Saturday evening were soon persuaded to
.receive their usual wages.
The accounts of the harvest from every part of the country are most
•cheering. The grass in the streets of Folkestone has been cut, since the
opening of the railway, and yielded an excellent crop. There was a
report of an extensive fall in the Mark Lane market on Monday, which
was subsequently found to have been brought about by a weighty agri-
culturist putting his foot on a piece of orange peel.
Mr. O'Connell has arrived at Clogher, to inspect the large chasm which
has opened in the market-place. From his known ability in getting
together all sorts of rents—ground or otherwise—he is soon expected to
close it.
Loan Brougham seems to have a vivid recollection of his having been Lord
Chancellor ; and yet no man is more frequently forgetting himself.
A BLANK PETITION.
ohd Brougham presented several thousand
signatures the other night to the House of
Lords, and having dilated on the importance
of attending to the wishes of such a large
body, found that he had got no petition at-
tached to the long list of names he had been
so eloquently speaking of. No man is better
fitted than Lord Brougham to represent a
blank sheet ; and the signatures of men who had not said what they
wanted, were most properly entrusted to his Lordship.
TOO GOOD BY HALF !
A Poor-Law Commissioner, at Bath, has discovered a system by which
he can make out of a pint of water a quart of milk, and have enough left
to make cream for the Commissioners' tea !
" Great Cry, but very little Wool I"
The Tories must find Lord Brougham a troublesome ally ;—and so they
will, till they have given him the sack.
Printed by Messrs. Bradbury and Evans, Lombard Street, in the precinct of Whitefriars, in the citr
of London, and published by Joseph Smith, of No. 53, St. JoLn's Wood Terrace, Regent's Park, ia
the Parish of Marylebone, in the county of Middlesex, at the Office, No. 194, Strand, in the Pt,rL»h
of St. Clement Danes, in the county of Middlesex.—Saturday, August 26, 18-13.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
SHIPPING INTELLIGENCE.
SONGS OF THE POLICE FORCE.
A dutch smack.
The Morning Post on the breakers in the Strand. All hands were
■called to the pumps; when Jenkins, among others, was caught hold of.
Water was rising fast in the hold, and when our last accounts came away,
there were serious thoughts among the owners (all of whom were in the
vessel) of throwing Jenkins overboard.
THE BRITISH ASSOCIATION AT CO.RK.
As a drowning man sometimes catches at a straw, this sinking Associa-
tion shows its tact in trying to hold on at Cork. Cork is also well adapted
Tor the meetings of this Association, on account of the ancient castle of
Blarney being in its immediate neighbourhood. We understand that
another inducement to the Association to pitch its tent this year at Cork,
THE COVE 07 CORK.
was the hope that the well-known Cove of that place might perhaps be
induced to attend some of the meetings.
Among the earliest papers to be read at the Society, one will be devoted
to an Essay on the Ruins of Blarney, including a plan for its restoration.
If Blarney is to be restored at Cork, the best way of effecting the object is
to allow the British Association to be permanently located there.
There is also a Cave in the neighbourhood, so deep that no one has found
the end. We trust the Association will explore this cave, and need hardly
say we shall be glad to hear of the whole Association being at the bottom
of it.
Perhaps the most interesting thing about Cork is the vast number of
lumps of stone, vulgarly called David's Altars. The London public saw
■something of them last year in the opera of Norma ; and it is said that
the lessee of Covent Garden has, in the handsomest manner, placed some
of the flats on which they are painted at the disposal of the Association,
who have declined the offer, on account of their having already more
flats than they know how to accommodate.
We understand that Professor Wollops has prepared a paper on the
•eccentric motion of the common jack-towel round the ordinary roller, and
he hopes to follow it up next year with a dissertation on dust, preceded
by a few facts on flue.
The authorities of Cork are doing all they can to meet the wishes of the
Association, and one of the corporation has already sent round cards con- ;
taining the terms of his " Evening School for Adults." The station-
house will be open at any hour.
Professor Spooney's prize essay, on "The Phenomena of Fixed Weather-
cocks," will be read on an early day ; and in the course of the week, !
the same Professor's paper on " Suspended Animation, in connection
with Suspended Payments," is expected to follow.
Draw the staff, ye gallant crew,
Strike for order and the law;
Hearts are stout, if hands are few,
Draw the staff, policemen, draw.
While in Scotia's Yard you stand,
With your buckles flashing light,
Ne'er did such a goodly band
Meet the passing stranger's sight.
Draw the staff, and strike the blow,
Hit about on every side ;
Lay the noisy cabmen low,
Shins belabour, groans deride.
Let the lantern be your guide,
Darkness you may boldly spurn ;
Draw the lantern, lift the slide,
On the foe the bull's-eye turn.
Draw the staff, policemen, draw !
Boldly brandish, smartly smite ;
Never fear ! the pliant law
Gives the bold policeman right.
JENKINS ON "THE DRAMA."
Jenkins is a thief—a pickpocket ; yea, an unblushing prig ! Jenkins
threatens to " write " a series of papers on the stage ! And, in Brydges-
street, we saw a wretched monkey, escaped from the arms of a Savoyard,
frisking over the portico of Drury-Lane Theatre. The little presumptuous
beast approached the statue of Shakspere; and now pawing the face of the
bard with its foul and fetid paws, and now pulling his nose, and scratching
the poet's leg, the filthy little brute squatted itself upon the head of
Shakspehe, and there sat, screeching, and whistling, and making all sorts
of monkey noises. That was the shadow of the coming event ; that was
Jenkins (unsavoury Man of the People)—Jenkins on the Drama.
Proceed we to the felony of Jenkins. He says—
"Every successful national drama has more or lesshitherto represented the prominent
temper or habits of its age What then is the course adopted by our modern
writers ? for we cannot conscientiously [think of the conscience of Jenkins !] call thom
dramatists. Instead of searching in the actual habits of the time being for themes or
thoughts, they but repeat the extinct expositions of extinct existences, in feebler and
more deadened colours."
Much of this is truth, and was therefore never discovered by Jenkins.
No ; the whole of it has been stolen from the critic of the Times (a gentle-
man as far above Jenkins as man is above a toadstool), whose theory it
is—a theory he has all along expounded with gentleness, fine taste, and
high scholarship ; and now comes in the petty-larceny Jenkins, and steals
the discovery for his own !
The Do-nothing Policy.—Ministers used to be known for their "savoir
faire but Sii Robert Peel seems to be distinguished for his savoir hien faire !
Nummary of Xcfos arttr public (Opinion.
A general strike took place yesterday at noon in the clock shops of
High Holborn, which was accompanied by a turn-out of the military over
the large dials in the window. A meeting of the workmen took place also
at one in the great room of the Alamode Beef House adjoining, where the
principal objects of their attendance were discussed. They returned
quietly to work at two, and on Saturday evening were soon persuaded to
.receive their usual wages.
The accounts of the harvest from every part of the country are most
•cheering. The grass in the streets of Folkestone has been cut, since the
opening of the railway, and yielded an excellent crop. There was a
report of an extensive fall in the Mark Lane market on Monday, which
was subsequently found to have been brought about by a weighty agri-
culturist putting his foot on a piece of orange peel.
Mr. O'Connell has arrived at Clogher, to inspect the large chasm which
has opened in the market-place. From his known ability in getting
together all sorts of rents—ground or otherwise—he is soon expected to
close it.
Loan Brougham seems to have a vivid recollection of his having been Lord
Chancellor ; and yet no man is more frequently forgetting himself.
A BLANK PETITION.
ohd Brougham presented several thousand
signatures the other night to the House of
Lords, and having dilated on the importance
of attending to the wishes of such a large
body, found that he had got no petition at-
tached to the long list of names he had been
so eloquently speaking of. No man is better
fitted than Lord Brougham to represent a
blank sheet ; and the signatures of men who had not said what they
wanted, were most properly entrusted to his Lordship.
TOO GOOD BY HALF !
A Poor-Law Commissioner, at Bath, has discovered a system by which
he can make out of a pint of water a quart of milk, and have enough left
to make cream for the Commissioners' tea !
" Great Cry, but very little Wool I"
The Tories must find Lord Brougham a troublesome ally ;—and so they
will, till they have given him the sack.
Printed by Messrs. Bradbury and Evans, Lombard Street, in the precinct of Whitefriars, in the citr
of London, and published by Joseph Smith, of No. 53, St. JoLn's Wood Terrace, Regent's Park, ia
the Parish of Marylebone, in the county of Middlesex, at the Office, No. 194, Strand, in the Pt,rL»h
of St. Clement Danes, in the county of Middlesex.—Saturday, August 26, 18-13.