DOI Seite / Zitierlink:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16513#0120
108
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
LADY LONDONDERRY'S HOSPITAL.
If a goose could only meditate upon the future destiny and pur»
poses of its various wing-quills ; it would, we are sure, sometimes
feel an elevation of spirit—a pride of heart—unknown even to pea.
cocks or parrots. The parent bird—and Jenkins alone knows what
its thoughts may be—would also feel anxieties throbbing at its heart;
doubts, fears—all the varied emotions of a mother. Here are half-a-
dozen quills plucked from the bird. Look at them, reader : they all
seem equally stout and good ; all equally capable of wise and useful
exertion. Alas ! are they not, too often, like giddy, thoughtless
youth, depending for their future figure in the world upon the hands
they fall into ? One quill writes an immortal piece of English ;
another does nothing but sign bank cheques ; a third—goose-like,
foolish thing—is dipped in forgery. One fabricates begging letters ;
another—builds a hospital!
Of such a quill have we now to speak !
The ingratitude of man is so generally acknowledged, that it has
ceased to become infamous. It is a human infirmity, like the croup ;
and like it, as old wives avow, certain at some period of his life to
fall upon every child of Adam. Hence, it is more than probable that
the world has already forgotten the last book of the most noble the
Marquess of Londonderry ; a book which was, as indeed every
book should be, an honest sample of the writer's brain. It was a
most amusing volume, and was laughed at by Whigs and Tories.
Party might truly be said to have laughed at both sides of its mouth.
Well, the Marquess having published, and allowed a decent time to
himself to be out of print, the Marchioness comes after. The male
volume is followed by tome female :
" The printer's han' was tried on man,
And then compos'd the lass's, oh 1 "
We have now before us A Three Months' Tour in Portugal, Spain,
and Africa, written by the beautiful Marchioness of Londonderry,
and published by the bibliopole Mitchell. Well, ordinarily, we think
no more of the volumes thrown at us by the lady aristocracy,—no
more than of the shells of perfumed water and sugar-plums once cast
at us—ha! those days!—at a Roman carnival. We merely smile,
and shake our ears—and would do so, were they long as Jenkins's—
and, calling heaven's blessings down upon the pretty things, pass on.
But we cannot pass the volume written by the Marchioness of
Londonderry.
Happy goose-feather ! for sure we are it was no crow-quill that
penned the healing lines—as healing they will prove to be—but a
gray-goose shaft dipped in the elixir of life ! Can this be doubted 1
Then let the reader learn that the profits arising from the Mar-
chioness's book are to build—"a Hospital at Sealiam Harbour !"
Should the Marquess himself ever, by accident, set fire to the
Thames, we have no doubt that he could reproduce the river—bridges
and all —by the profits of an epigram !
A Hospital built upon a volume ! The paper becomes lint—the
words physic !
Let it not for a moment be thought that we treat the project with
irreverent gaiety. Certainly not. If we are at all cheerful, it is the
blitiiesomeness of rejoicing philanthropy that chirrups within us; for
we have made the most particular inquiries among the aristocracy,
as to the objects of this Hospital to be founded upon foolscap, and
: have learned that the Marchioness of Londonderry, touched by
the forlorn and all but hopeless condition of many of the nobility,
has resolved to dedicate the building to the exclusive use of her
" order."
An architect has already been commissioned to draw plans of the
j building; and, as it is desirable that the fabric should be so con-
| structed that no patient should see what is going on about him, that
: arch architect to whom we owe so many of our modern theatres, has,
: very properly, been selected for the undertaking. We have been
■ favoured with a view of the drawings.
On the completion of the Hospital, Lord Brougham will immediately
be removed into Vanity Ward. For months past, the condition of his
lordship has continued to alarm a distinguished, though very select,
body of individuals, his lordship's friends. We hope that the disease
has not made too great an advance ; but have, nevertheless, confidence
in the careful treatment to be adopted. His lordship will be rigidly
kept from pen and ink; nobody will be allowed to answer him, or
take any notice of him, do what he will; even the nurses will not be
permitted to listen to his speeches ; and the word Examiner—whether
applicable to surgeon or journal—will be studiously suppressed. As,
however, his lordship has a mechanical turn, he will be supplied with
wood, pins, and paper, that ho may employ himself in the con-
struction of Tory windmills. The cups engraved by Baron Trenck
during his long captivity are now objects of high price ; and is it to
be doubted that the windmills of Henry Brougiiaji will be forgotten
by posterity, should they, indeed, unlike the poet's letter, be ever
delivered ?
Selfishness Ward will hold an immense number of patients; and
already numerous applications are made for the admittance of people
of the very first rank—people, said to be labouring under a dernier
form of the disease, and of whose ultimate recovery there is very
little hope. Dukes, marquesses, and earls, are among the suffering.
Idleness Ward—Arrogance Ward—Bribery and Corruption Ward,
and twenty others, peculiarly adapted to the diseases of the aris-
tocracy, will be allotted from the building ; of which we may give a
further account in a future Number.
DEATH AND THE TAILOR.
It the custom of Punch to directly or indirectly puff a trades-
man ; but one L. Hyam, tailor, of Gracechurch-street, put's in such
delicate, such humanizing, such peculiar claims to notice, that Punch
feels he should be wanting to himself and the world, did lie not award
to the said Hyam the recompense due to those noble feelings which
animate (and very equally, too,) the tailor's heart and the tailor's
goose.
The following is a part of the advertisement which Hyam h&a
caused to be inserted in the columns of several of our careless (at the
best careless) contemporaries :—
" ON THE DEATH OF MR. ELTON.
" Alas, poer Elton ! that the surges wild
Should swallow up the drama's fav'rite child.
Sad was thy fate, and awful was thy doom,
Whilst sea-gulls flutter'd o'er thy watery tomb !
Though thou art dead, thy treasur'd name will live,
And from all ranks true sympathy receive.
Thy talents, genius, and unspotted name,
Have all conspired to gain thee deathless fame,—
And so it is—the man of talent finds
Intrinsic pleasure in each kindred mind;
And now the world, with judgment, all confess,
And hail L. Hyam first in style and dress !
His style, his cut, and w»kmanship"
And, above all, (for we go no further with the advertisement) his
humanity, his decency, his determination to turn the penny,—no
matter at what cost! Hyam is a great tailor. It is plain, he would
make a vest from the very skin of a drowned father ; wculd thread
a needle with the heartstrings of living orphans. We, therefore, !
submit his claims of patronage to the good feelings of our readers,
that those who may want anything in the way ot Mr. Hyam, will,
after pondering on his tradesmanlike virtues as indicated in the
above, rush to Gracechurch-street, and bestow upon the tailor pre-
cisely what the tailor merits. We ask, at the hands of the readers,
nothing for Hyam but what Hyam justly deserves.
Espartero and the Citizens.
It was stated at the meeting of the Common Council by one party, that
Espartero had only got five hundred a year ; and by another it was
asserted that the Ex-Regent had agreed to pay six hundred a year for his
house. If both these statements are correct, we can only account for
them by remembering that the truly military spirit of Espartero may
induce him to act the part of the soldier who lives on his pay, and spends
half-a-crown out of sixpence a day. " Deduct," as an Irishman would !
DIVIDING THE DIFFERENCE.
say, "six hundred from five hundred, and the Ex-Regent will have the
whole of the difference to live upon."
Rational Animals.
The papers mention that the horses in the Due de Nemours's carriage
started off at full gallop, "having taken fright at the colours of the
National Guard."—We do not wonder at their being anxious to run
away, if the colours were inscribed with " La Charte de 1830."
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
LADY LONDONDERRY'S HOSPITAL.
If a goose could only meditate upon the future destiny and pur»
poses of its various wing-quills ; it would, we are sure, sometimes
feel an elevation of spirit—a pride of heart—unknown even to pea.
cocks or parrots. The parent bird—and Jenkins alone knows what
its thoughts may be—would also feel anxieties throbbing at its heart;
doubts, fears—all the varied emotions of a mother. Here are half-a-
dozen quills plucked from the bird. Look at them, reader : they all
seem equally stout and good ; all equally capable of wise and useful
exertion. Alas ! are they not, too often, like giddy, thoughtless
youth, depending for their future figure in the world upon the hands
they fall into ? One quill writes an immortal piece of English ;
another does nothing but sign bank cheques ; a third—goose-like,
foolish thing—is dipped in forgery. One fabricates begging letters ;
another—builds a hospital!
Of such a quill have we now to speak !
The ingratitude of man is so generally acknowledged, that it has
ceased to become infamous. It is a human infirmity, like the croup ;
and like it, as old wives avow, certain at some period of his life to
fall upon every child of Adam. Hence, it is more than probable that
the world has already forgotten the last book of the most noble the
Marquess of Londonderry ; a book which was, as indeed every
book should be, an honest sample of the writer's brain. It was a
most amusing volume, and was laughed at by Whigs and Tories.
Party might truly be said to have laughed at both sides of its mouth.
Well, the Marquess having published, and allowed a decent time to
himself to be out of print, the Marchioness comes after. The male
volume is followed by tome female :
" The printer's han' was tried on man,
And then compos'd the lass's, oh 1 "
We have now before us A Three Months' Tour in Portugal, Spain,
and Africa, written by the beautiful Marchioness of Londonderry,
and published by the bibliopole Mitchell. Well, ordinarily, we think
no more of the volumes thrown at us by the lady aristocracy,—no
more than of the shells of perfumed water and sugar-plums once cast
at us—ha! those days!—at a Roman carnival. We merely smile,
and shake our ears—and would do so, were they long as Jenkins's—
and, calling heaven's blessings down upon the pretty things, pass on.
But we cannot pass the volume written by the Marchioness of
Londonderry.
Happy goose-feather ! for sure we are it was no crow-quill that
penned the healing lines—as healing they will prove to be—but a
gray-goose shaft dipped in the elixir of life ! Can this be doubted 1
Then let the reader learn that the profits arising from the Mar-
chioness's book are to build—"a Hospital at Sealiam Harbour !"
Should the Marquess himself ever, by accident, set fire to the
Thames, we have no doubt that he could reproduce the river—bridges
and all —by the profits of an epigram !
A Hospital built upon a volume ! The paper becomes lint—the
words physic !
Let it not for a moment be thought that we treat the project with
irreverent gaiety. Certainly not. If we are at all cheerful, it is the
blitiiesomeness of rejoicing philanthropy that chirrups within us; for
we have made the most particular inquiries among the aristocracy,
as to the objects of this Hospital to be founded upon foolscap, and
: have learned that the Marchioness of Londonderry, touched by
the forlorn and all but hopeless condition of many of the nobility,
has resolved to dedicate the building to the exclusive use of her
" order."
An architect has already been commissioned to draw plans of the
j building; and, as it is desirable that the fabric should be so con-
| structed that no patient should see what is going on about him, that
: arch architect to whom we owe so many of our modern theatres, has,
: very properly, been selected for the undertaking. We have been
■ favoured with a view of the drawings.
On the completion of the Hospital, Lord Brougham will immediately
be removed into Vanity Ward. For months past, the condition of his
lordship has continued to alarm a distinguished, though very select,
body of individuals, his lordship's friends. We hope that the disease
has not made too great an advance ; but have, nevertheless, confidence
in the careful treatment to be adopted. His lordship will be rigidly
kept from pen and ink; nobody will be allowed to answer him, or
take any notice of him, do what he will; even the nurses will not be
permitted to listen to his speeches ; and the word Examiner—whether
applicable to surgeon or journal—will be studiously suppressed. As,
however, his lordship has a mechanical turn, he will be supplied with
wood, pins, and paper, that ho may employ himself in the con-
struction of Tory windmills. The cups engraved by Baron Trenck
during his long captivity are now objects of high price ; and is it to
be doubted that the windmills of Henry Brougiiaji will be forgotten
by posterity, should they, indeed, unlike the poet's letter, be ever
delivered ?
Selfishness Ward will hold an immense number of patients; and
already numerous applications are made for the admittance of people
of the very first rank—people, said to be labouring under a dernier
form of the disease, and of whose ultimate recovery there is very
little hope. Dukes, marquesses, and earls, are among the suffering.
Idleness Ward—Arrogance Ward—Bribery and Corruption Ward,
and twenty others, peculiarly adapted to the diseases of the aris-
tocracy, will be allotted from the building ; of which we may give a
further account in a future Number.
DEATH AND THE TAILOR.
It the custom of Punch to directly or indirectly puff a trades-
man ; but one L. Hyam, tailor, of Gracechurch-street, put's in such
delicate, such humanizing, such peculiar claims to notice, that Punch
feels he should be wanting to himself and the world, did lie not award
to the said Hyam the recompense due to those noble feelings which
animate (and very equally, too,) the tailor's heart and the tailor's
goose.
The following is a part of the advertisement which Hyam h&a
caused to be inserted in the columns of several of our careless (at the
best careless) contemporaries :—
" ON THE DEATH OF MR. ELTON.
" Alas, poer Elton ! that the surges wild
Should swallow up the drama's fav'rite child.
Sad was thy fate, and awful was thy doom,
Whilst sea-gulls flutter'd o'er thy watery tomb !
Though thou art dead, thy treasur'd name will live,
And from all ranks true sympathy receive.
Thy talents, genius, and unspotted name,
Have all conspired to gain thee deathless fame,—
And so it is—the man of talent finds
Intrinsic pleasure in each kindred mind;
And now the world, with judgment, all confess,
And hail L. Hyam first in style and dress !
His style, his cut, and w»kmanship"
And, above all, (for we go no further with the advertisement) his
humanity, his decency, his determination to turn the penny,—no
matter at what cost! Hyam is a great tailor. It is plain, he would
make a vest from the very skin of a drowned father ; wculd thread
a needle with the heartstrings of living orphans. We, therefore, !
submit his claims of patronage to the good feelings of our readers,
that those who may want anything in the way ot Mr. Hyam, will,
after pondering on his tradesmanlike virtues as indicated in the
above, rush to Gracechurch-street, and bestow upon the tailor pre-
cisely what the tailor merits. We ask, at the hands of the readers,
nothing for Hyam but what Hyam justly deserves.
Espartero and the Citizens.
It was stated at the meeting of the Common Council by one party, that
Espartero had only got five hundred a year ; and by another it was
asserted that the Ex-Regent had agreed to pay six hundred a year for his
house. If both these statements are correct, we can only account for
them by remembering that the truly military spirit of Espartero may
induce him to act the part of the soldier who lives on his pay, and spends
half-a-crown out of sixpence a day. " Deduct," as an Irishman would !
DIVIDING THE DIFFERENCE.
say, "six hundred from five hundred, and the Ex-Regent will have the
whole of the difference to live upon."
Rational Animals.
The papers mention that the horses in the Due de Nemours's carriage
started off at full gallop, "having taken fright at the colours of the
National Guard."—We do not wonder at their being anxious to run
away, if the colours were inscribed with " La Charte de 1830."