DOI article:
Rolfe, Frederick W.: Stories Toto told me, [3]
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.38746#0152
Stories Toto Told Me
148
breasts of wicked men and saw the tears rain down on women’s
cheeks, he envied Fra Serafico his power to move men so, and
he began to listen to the sermon that he might catch the
preacher preaching heresy. Now, of course, while he was staring
about, he had not paid attention to the words of gold, and the first
sentence that caught his ear when he did begin, indeed, to listen
was this, ‘ No one shall be crowned unless he has contended
lawfully.’
“ Padre Tonto jumped up and ran out of the church. He was
delighted, for he had heard a heresy straight away. ‘ No one
shall be crowned,’ he said—‘ that is, of course, with the crown of
glory which the saints in heaven wear for ever—unless he has
contended lawfully—that is; to say, as the martyrs did in the
Colosseo. Pr-r-r-r-r-r, my dear Serafico ! And what, then, be-
comes of all the holy bishops and confessors, and of the virgins and
penitents and widows whom Holy Church has numbered with the
saints ? These were not martyrs, nor did they fight with beasts,
like San Paolo’ (and I cannot tell you the place, sir). ‘An I were
Pope, Seraficone mio, I should burn your body in the Campo di
Fiore to-morrow morning, and your soul in hell for ever and the
day after.’ And saying these words and all sorts of other things
like them, he ran away to the Sant’ Uffizio and made a mischief
with much diligence.
“ Now Padre Tonto had a very good reputation and was exceed-
ingly well thought of in Rome. Moreover, the accusation he
made, appeared to be well founded. So Fra Serafico was sent for
and the question was put to him, ‘Did you, or did you not, in
your sermon preached in the Church of San Carlo A1 Corso on
the second Monday in Lent, say, “No one shall be crowned un-
less he has contended lawfully ? ” ’ And Fra Serafico replied that
his questioner, who was the Grand Inquisitor himself, spoke like
a book
148
breasts of wicked men and saw the tears rain down on women’s
cheeks, he envied Fra Serafico his power to move men so, and
he began to listen to the sermon that he might catch the
preacher preaching heresy. Now, of course, while he was staring
about, he had not paid attention to the words of gold, and the first
sentence that caught his ear when he did begin, indeed, to listen
was this, ‘ No one shall be crowned unless he has contended
lawfully.’
“ Padre Tonto jumped up and ran out of the church. He was
delighted, for he had heard a heresy straight away. ‘ No one
shall be crowned,’ he said—‘ that is, of course, with the crown of
glory which the saints in heaven wear for ever—unless he has
contended lawfully—that is; to say, as the martyrs did in the
Colosseo. Pr-r-r-r-r-r, my dear Serafico ! And what, then, be-
comes of all the holy bishops and confessors, and of the virgins and
penitents and widows whom Holy Church has numbered with the
saints ? These were not martyrs, nor did they fight with beasts,
like San Paolo’ (and I cannot tell you the place, sir). ‘An I were
Pope, Seraficone mio, I should burn your body in the Campo di
Fiore to-morrow morning, and your soul in hell for ever and the
day after.’ And saying these words and all sorts of other things
like them, he ran away to the Sant’ Uffizio and made a mischief
with much diligence.
“ Now Padre Tonto had a very good reputation and was exceed-
ingly well thought of in Rome. Moreover, the accusation he
made, appeared to be well founded. So Fra Serafico was sent for
and the question was put to him, ‘Did you, or did you not, in
your sermon preached in the Church of San Carlo A1 Corso on
the second Monday in Lent, say, “No one shall be crowned un-
less he has contended lawfully ? ” ’ And Fra Serafico replied that
his questioner, who was the Grand Inquisitor himself, spoke like
a book