Punch: Punch (6.1844)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

47

VH1ZE COACHMAN.

3rd Prize.—,£'10, and a silver medal, to Lord Mount-Cockade, for
& red-nosed state-coachman, with wig and bouquet, aged 64 : fattened in
the servants' hall on hot-joints, greens, and treble X. Travelled to the
show on the box.

THE WEATHER.

PRIZE PAGE. UNSUCCESSFUL CANDIDATE.

ilh Prise.— £7, and a German silver medal, to Lady Jemima Henriette
de Faulder, for a ten-year old Page ; fattened on chocolate, chicken,
cnracoa, sweetbreads, marmalade, and the general pickings of the store-
room. Measures one yard eleven inches round the waist, and half a yard
round each-calf. Led to the show by Lady Faulder's poodle.

Unsuccessful Candidate.—Mr. Skimp's servant of all work, aged 15 :
fed on board wages. Travelled to the show on the spikes of a hackney-
coach.

NEW ORDERS.
The Emperor of Russia has just revived the Order of the Swan, and
we understand the following Orders will shortly be instituted in this
country :—

The Order of the Lark.—Grand Master. Lord Huntingtower.
The Order of the Goose. —Knight Commander, Colonel Sibthorpe.
The Order of the Swallow.— Members in ordinary, the Auditors of the
Accounts of the Churchwarden of St. Stephen, Walbrook.

Lifts to lazy lawyers.

Q. What are mesne incumbrances ?
A. Poor relations.

Q. What is a mortgagee in possession !
A. An Uncle.

ood Mr. Punch,—Everybody is agreed on th«
singular mildness of the season. The editor of
the something Herald is writing with a bunch
of precocious primroses lying before him ; and
the conductor of the somewhere Express is
sniffing at a twig of May, forwarded to him by
a country correspondent. Mr. Tomkius, of
Hurleybury7, has picked, in his own gaiden, a
green gooseberry as big as a marrowfat pea.
Air. Redhead, of Ilawthorndean, has a second
crop of Lilliputian apples in his orchard. Mr. Biggs has gathered
three ripe strawberries, forced by the sun ; and Mr. Colewich had a
dish of new potatoes on Christmas Day ! A county Sentinel is
cocksure that he has heard the blackbird in full song ; and in the
grounds of Mr. White there is a finch's nest with three eggs, •which
lie will be happy to show to all the curious in ornithology. In short,
the marriage of January and May is no longer a fiction.

Now it is a singular fact that none of our Natural Philosophers,
Astronomers, Astrologers, Meteorologists, Murphies, or Clerks of
the Weather, have foretold, or satisfactorily accounted, for such a
signal deviation from the usual march, of the seasons. They have
been looking for it, in electric currents, in the winds, in the moon,
in the planetary conjunctions, in a reel of the earth from her old
axis,—but neither they, nor even our Political Weathercocks, have
pointed to the very striking coincidence, that since the transporta-
tion of Frost, we have had no hard winter.

I am, dear Punch, Yours, &c.

Verb. Sap.

CANT1UNCULA.

Ranula furtivos statuebat quserere amores.

(" Me miserum ! " tristi Rohus ore gemit !)
Ranula furtivos statuebat quserere amores,

Mater sive claret sive negaret iter.
0 Roli, Pnlique ! 0 perna, et caulis ! at " Eheu ! "

Antoni Roli vox lacrymosa sonat I1
Ergo abiit, nigru caput abseondente galero,

Forte comes sorex obvius adfuerat.
Nec mora std siinul ac venerunt muris ad tedes

Et voce et pulsu concrepufire fores.
' Mater, Mus Mater, sis intus, necne ? " Sed Ilia

" Immo, et sola sedeiis sedula peusa traho." 2

Atque addif, " Nobis vis carmen, Rana, canorum

Edere ? Sed nec res sit tibi longa nimis "
Lie autem, 0 Mater, melius me, tusse recenti,

" Inaniundae dominus carmina fundit harae."
Sic lsetabanlur : subito sed felis in aulam

Horrenda, et proles vix uumeranda, ruunt !
Sorex terribili cecidit sub matre,—nec illi

Dissimilis nvurem corripuit soboles !
At ranam, improvide tranantein fiumen aquarum,

Alba superveuiens annilulavitanas !
Una, duo, tres sic morti oceubuere sinistrse,

Mus Mater, Sorex, Ranula ! Vee miseris !
0 Roli, Polique ! 0 Perna et Caulis ! at " Eheu ! "

Antoni Ruli vox lacrymosa gemit !

1 Juvenal afterwards cribbed this, a la Lord William. 2 Stolen by Virgil—"Muter,
Cyrene Mater," &c.

"A prigging of what wasn't his'n,

For which the Bard deserved a prison."

—Annotuliuns of the Printer's Devil.

Novel Publication.

Mr. Alderman Gibbs begs to inform the parishioners of St. Stephen's,
Walbrook, and the public in general that he has just published a work of
a very curious and novel description, entitled, •' The Accounts of tub
Churchwarden of St Stephen's, Walbrook.'' A work of this descrip-
tion not having been published for very many years, it is hoped that the
public, and especially the parishioners of St. Stephen's, Walbrook, will
duly appreciate it. It is illustrated by an immense number of figures, and
is altogether very cleverly got up.

Dancing for tne Million.

We understand that the fertile brain of Monsieur Jullien has been
employed on devising some new Quadrilles, and that he intends bringing
out a splendid arrangement of St. Vitus's dance, in a day or two.