Punch: Punch (6.1844)

220

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

proper spelling of his name—is now the idol of the nation. The house
he was born in has been bought by the Government, and is surrounded
by a silver rail. Whenever his plays are played, the Queen invariably
goes in state to the theatre, and makes it pain of death to any of the
nobility to stop away. All his relations are dead, or it is to be feared—
such is the devotion of the court to Shakspeare—that they would be
turned into lords, and have fortunes settled upon them, like retired
Ministers and Chancellors. A man named Char Les Knite, for only pub-
lishing his works, received from the Queen her portrait set in precious
diamonds, and was made Baron of Stratford-on-Avon. In a word, from
the Queen to the peasant, all the people worship Shakspeare. The first
thing seen on approaching Dover is a statue of the poet, forty feet high,
perched upon the Cliff. It is lamentable to record these things ; but to
fully show the moral darkness of the barbarians, it is necessary.

CASK III.—AN ACTOR.

In England, play-actors are very different to the players of the
■" flowery country." They all of them keep their carriages. When they
do not, they, like Lord Chancellor Lyndhurst, job a Brougham. An
actor sometimes spends twelve thousand a year ; or if he doesn't exactly
spend it, he takes credit for the same. Actresses, too, like watches, to act
well, must act upon diamonds : these are sometimes borrowed at the rate
■of a hundred and fifty pounds per annum. The present specimen of the
Actor is also a sample of the first fashions. He is allowed great privileges
Leyond those of any vulgar tradesman. When he can't pay his debts he :
is allowed to make a joke, which is taken by the judge (commissioner he
is called) as a very handsome dividend to be shared among the creditors.
1 hree jokes and a fair intention at a fourth are generally received from
the Actor as satisfaction in full to any amount of thousands.

CASE IV.—A SEMPSTRESS.

The women who live by needle and thread amount to many thousands ;
and are easily known by the freshness of their complexions aud the cheer-
fulness of their manners. Indeed, nothing shows the humanity of the
barbarians in a more favourable light than the great attention which is
paid by the rich and high to the comforts of their milliners, dress-makers,
and sempstresses. Women of noblest title constantly refuse an invitation
to parties rather than press too hardly upou the time of those who have
to make their dresses. Indeed, there is what is called a visiting Com-

mittee of Ladies, who take upon themselves the duty of calling, not only
on the employers of the needle-women to inquire into the comforts of the
workers, but of visiting the humble homes of the women themselves, to
see that they want nothing that may administer to their health ami
reasonable recreation. Hence there is a saying in England, that " the
life of a sempstress is as the life of a bee; she does nothing but sing and
make honey."

CASE V.—THE LITERARY LORD.

Perhaps, nothing shows a greater laxity of the English police than the
fact that a Literary Lord is seldom taken up for robbery. The specimen
here given is from the life. The fact is, the English love the name of
a Lord, and so the booksellers pay handsomely for a title wherewith to gull
the poor barbarians. The novel of a Literary Lord is generally made after
the following fashion : He obtains the works of half-a-dozen of the lower
and labouring classes, and, like a Hottentot, dresses himself in their
entrails. He has been known to rob a Lion, gut a Tylney Hall, and
knock down an old unoffending Antiquary, and only that he might enrich
a miserable Tuft-Hunter. He is here depicted with a portrait of the
original scissars with which lie stops books upon the highway, and makes
them deliver.

CASE VT —A MEMBER OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.

This is a beautiful specimen of a Member of Parliament for a place called
Lin Con. He calls himself a true son of Bull, and when his voice is heard,
there is no doubting the relationship. He is at home, surrounded by
pictures of the painted Britons, and is drawing out a bill by which
Englishmen may be carried back to their pictorial condition. A cup of
tea is beside him, which he drinks cold ; his wholesome aversion to steam
not permitting a kettle to boil under his roof. Members of Parliament
—especially the Members for Lin Con—are alway s chosen for the clear-
ness of their heads. If a rushlight, held close to one side of the skull,
will, in a dark room, enable the electors to read the written professions of
the candidate, held close to the other side, he is immediately elected. In
the present specimen, there was nothing to intercept the rays of light which
shone through the head like the flame of a taper through a water-bottle.