Punch: Punch (6.1844)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

CASE VII__LITERARY GENTLEMAN IN SUMMER COSTUME.

The literary men receive the highest honours. From their body are
chosen Ambassadors to foreign states, Plenipotentiaries Extraordinary,
Governors of Islands, and other officers of great authority. All the bar-
bariaus, from high to low, pay them the greatest homage. The Queen
herself is so fond of the literary character, that she never sits down to
dinner unless surrounded by at least a dozen of poets, novelists, dramatists,
and others. In the Palace they receive almost royal consideration. No-
body can calculate the sum of money every year expended by the Queen
in presents of jewels, books, &c, to the authors of England. And it is
the same with the painters and sculptors. It need scarcely be added that
all these people are immensely rich.

CASE VIII.—A LAW LORD.

This nobleman was a Chancellor, which means an officer who sells
the chances of E Qui Ty, an article of excessive luxury, very rarely
to be indulged in by the lower classes. Indeed, E Qui Ty may be likened
to our delicious swallows' nests* ; it is equally dear, and to be obtained
only at the greatest peril of the adventurer. This Law Lord is called,
particularly by himself, the Mi Tee Broom, and is accounted the best
juggler in the kingdom. He can turn himself inside out like an old
glove, and is often employed by the House of Lords to tumble and throw
summersets to keep the noblemen wide awake. He can write a book with
his toes, and even after dinner can spell every speech he has made back-
wards. With all this, he is singularly independent, and " cannot fawn or
giose " upon anybody higher than a Duke and a Field Marshal. He is a

—---

* Li li here alludes to tbe nests of the fiirundo esculenta, which nests are made into
delicious soup by the Chinese. The nests are chiefly obtained in the ca-ves of Java,
They are generally taken by torch-light from recesses of the reck, where " the slightest
»lip would plunge the nest-seeker " into the boiling surf below.

222

man of universal doings. There is, perhaps, no man in England who can
better balance a straw upon his nose, or blow a new statute out of soap
and water. When he would make a law to make a new place, he does it
as carefully as a bird builds its nest ; and for the like reason, it being for
his own especial comfort and advantage.

CASE IX.—A SHOPKEEPER.

The shopkeepers—especially those who deal iu silks, hosiery, and linens—
are a race of extraordinary people. Many of them write up over their shop-
doors " From Flint's ;" but this is only a pleasant contradiction to show
the extreme softness of their hearts, and the benevolence of their natures.
They are all of them oracles of truth ; and when you see it written up in
their windows that they are " selling off at a great sacrifice," you may be-
sure that the shopkeeper, touched by the misery of his fellow-creatures^
has resolved to almost give his goods away, that he may retire to " Bricks-
Town " or " Eye Gate," or some other suburb famous for hermits. Their
shops, like those of the flowery country, are written over with moral sen-
tences, such as " No abatement allowed," " For ready money only," and
other choice maxims dear to the barbarian philosophers. The condition
of the shopmen is also of the happiest kind ; more than sufficient time
being allowed them for the cultivation of their souls and the benefit of
their health. Most of the masters keep libraries, and even billiard tables,
for the improvement and recreation of their young men. And whereas,,
in the " flowery country," we say as " happy as a bird," the English
exclaim, "as happy as a linendraper's shopman."

CASE X.—A LADY OF FASHION,

This is the wife of a nobleman, in full dress. It will be seen that
the barbarian English have no notion whatever of " the golden lilies " •

* The " golden lilies " are, poetically, the little distorted feet of the Chinese women.