Punch (10.1846)

98

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

PRESENTATION OF COLOURS TO THE BROOK GREEN VOLUNTEER.

TTAMMERSMITH having become naturally proud of her military t must be a '* real blessing to mothers" in that too sensitive locality. In a

prowess, which she owes entirely to her gallant volunteer, it has I neighbourhood where

been at length determined to present him with a pair of colours, in order j i l i u j u

° , t ■ %-i ■■ L , ' , '• Fn e thousand souls snak'.: in ten thousand shoes

to give some colour to his warlike proceedings lhe brave creature has

often been heard to declare that he would nail his standard to the pike- as the poet graphically hath it, a hero is a boon, and. valour must be at
staff of his country's liberties, but the recollection that he has had j least twenty per cent, higher than it would be iu any other market,
nothing to nail has suddenly flashed across his levered brain, and the1 The ceremony of presenting colours is nearly ihe same on all occasions,
hero of a hundred pelting showers has j and in all regiments, so that in ;he case of the Brook Green Volunteer ic

" Wi d awa ate *' j was only necessary to follow a precedent, it is usual to bring out the

jpe away a ear. \ old colours, and, furling them up like aD umbrella, they are put iuto a

The aspect of valour in distress has touched the heart of a British : sort of umbrella-case, and inarched into the rear, when they are either
female, who has determined to make a present of colours to 'he BTook ! oVstroyed or given to the colonel's Jittle girls', to make dolls' bonnets of.
Green Volunteer. Feeling assured that every true-bora Englishman j We know at this moment a syiph-like creature, with arms of wax, and
must feel an interest in everything concerning the efficiency of our [ body of braD, who is alwajs dressed in bits of tbe old flag of the34cr>,
soldiery, we have no hesitation in giving an account of the interesting with " Culloden" written on her polka, and " Minorca " figuring ou tr.e
ceremony. I crown of her bonnet.

The Brook Green Volunteer, though he has never been iu action, has, \ But to proceed with our description of tbe ceremony. Miss Snooks,
in imagination, rallied round the British throne twice a-*eek for the last ; from one of the thousand iauudries that abound iu the neighbours u,
month, and intends adding materially to the security of the crown, every ! had been selected to present the Colours. They were received ou Ins
Monday night, till further notice. knees by the Brook Green Volunteer, who made a few observations

It is owing to him that the neighbourhood feels able to rest in security,
Conscious that the Brook Green Volunteer is at his post, the Lily of Ham-
mersmith sleeps peacefully in her bed, the Rose of Shepherd's Bush
reposes on her pillow of rosy posies, and the Dahlia of Kensington Cres-
cent feels assured of tranquillity. Jt must be evident, therefore, that the
Volunteer, as the guardian of the fair daughters of the western suburb,

on the art of war, and gave a long quotation from Ccesar de Bella Gnllico.
He took a rapid view of heroism from Hannibal down to Suaw, the
Life Guardsman, and interspersed his remarks with anecdotes of some of
our most distinguished living sentinels. Before he had concluded his
discourse, every one bad left the spot, and we are thereiore unable to say
precisely what followed.

A VOICE FROM THE COMMONS' TABLE.

You may talk about the banquets of Lucullus and Apicius,

Of the Regent's petit soupers so volatile and vicious ;

Of Turtle soup at Birch's, of Whitebait at Blackwall,

But the banquet nightly spread on me is rarer than them all.

I show no guests round rumps or loins from fatted flocks or herds,

But honourable members all eating their own words.

Of my repast the first course is absurdities and blunders,

And the second recantations and compulsory knock-uuders :

On me Sir Robert bolted all he'd said unto the nation,

And made a meal of his own words about Emancipation ;

And the Tapers, and the Tadpoles, who followed his example,

To make up for the nauseous meal, found the loaves and fishes ample.

On me grim Grahame's meal was spread, when (with him no rare
occurrence) he

Ate up both facts and figures out of his " Corn and Cunency.''

And on me, the previous process of rumination o'er,

Tbe world now sees him gulp again what he'd disgorged before.

I've had Palmerston before me, how oft 'tis hard to say,

To swallow his own high-spiced words in the most unblushing way.

But of all the entertainments I've provided of the kind,
The one that's just now coming off's the choicest to my mind :
Wfapn in solemn ring of gentlemen, adhesive to their places.
Sir Robert and the ministers o er Hansard make wry faces.
And the Premier, forced to eat his words, adopts the boldest
course

Of washing down his humble pie with floods of his own sauce.