Punch (10.1846)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

135

THE LAST SCENE OP THE MILLER AND HIS MEN.

3Tf)e $o«tt ©ffito HBelttgt'anis.

Ip the Eare of St. Germans is desirous of proving that

The denouement of the drama of Protection is at length about to arrive, and the

millers, who have for years been in the habit of plundering the people under the he really learned something when he was dragged all

pretence of carrving on a fair trade in corn, must prepare for the coming explosion, over the General Post Office—stood the pelting of the

The part of Eavhia. who has for some time been an accomplice of the gang, but at six o'clock newspapers—was let down upon the movable

length fires the train which consigns them to destruction, has been undertaken, at floor—was almost smothered in bags, until it took six

a somewhat short notice, by Peei-, who fills it with considerable ability. The stout letter-carriers to effect his delivery—if he will

utter remorselessness with which he proceeds to sacrifice his old comrades must be evince his capacity for his office of Postmaster General,

considered as a fine touch of dramatic energy, and shows the skill of the consum- he will take a run down to Brighton. The public, misled

mate artist. Graham, as the gay and inconstant Lothair. though a little too old for by a very flaming announcement, got under the delusion

the part, makes up for it exceedingly well, and by the aid of a rapidity of move- that because letters are sent six times a day each way be-

ment, manages to bustle through very amusingly. tween London and Brighton, there is any quicker eorre-

Richmond's Orindoff is however one of the finest bits in the drama. The despe- spondence than under the old arrangement. The new plan

rate and restless energy with which he clings to the lost cause of his companions gives the letters themselves a few hours' rest, for they are

is a triumph of the old school of melodrama. Our artist has ventured on a sketch allowed to lie at the respective post-offices in a sort of otium

of the horrors of the last scene, which we will not weaken by any description of cum dignitate, which the authorities do not attempt to dis-

our own, particularly as the denouement is one which the course of events will turb by a precipitate delivery. The letters arrive in the

now very speedily realise. town, it is true ; but, as the song says,—

" There they lay
All the (lay

In the Brighton Office, oh ! '*

Por our own parts, we are disposed to regard the an-
nouncement of the six posts as " a delusion, a mockery,
and a snare " to draw people down to Brighton under the
idea that they can keep up a frequent and rapid commu-
| nication with the metropolis. Letters arriving at 2 p.m.,
I 4 p.m., and 5 p.m., are kept until they can go out in
I company with those arriving at ^ past 6 p. m., and they
i are all delivered together at about \ past 7.

The only satisfaction one feels from the early arrival is,
the pleasant consciousness that a letter which reached
! Brighton at 2, has been waiting 5$ hours in a state of
i coma at the post-office. We are disposed to regard the
; whole affair as a ruse, to divide the labour of the post-
1 office people, by getting the letters in six small instalments
instead of their pouring in all at once, and requiring
some little activity to have them sorted ready for delivery.

In London, of course nobody expects to get a letter
until several hours after the proper period. The nearer
the place the longer the time taken in communication, is
the principle of the Post-office. Thus, if it takes eight
hours to hear from Brighton, it follows that it will require
ten to get a letter from Hammersmith. And so on in
proportion, until a letter sent from one part of London
to another stands some chance of never reaching its des-
tination. " As deaf as a post" is a proverb, which no
doubt took its origin from the post-office people being
so very hard of hearing when the public voice is calling
attention to some grievance that requires a remedy.

THE VICAR AND THE POET.

It appears from the Bristol Journal that some six years
ago a monument to Chatterton was erected in Redcliff
churchyard, Bristol. The Rev. Martin Whish was, it
seems, desirous that the stone should bear certain lines of
the best morality "which the vicar's scrap-book could
furnish." Time, however, rolled on, when, a little while
since, the Rev. Martin Whish, after six years' toleration
of the monument to the " marvellous boy," the poet
suicide, the overwrought lunatic, bethought himself that
the monument was a wrong, an eyesore to a Christian
place of sepulture, and had it removed. This bigotry
towards the illustrious dead is quite worthy of the spirit
of Bristol exercised toward the living. The city helped
to starve the genius , and now comes the vicar, in the
year of light and liberality 1846, to wreak his sacerdotal
spite (and there is no mischief like it) on the memory of
the truly great and truly unfortivnate.

The Theatre of War.

Algeria is frequently mentioned in the Prench
papers as the "theatre of war." We must say the
principal actors understand their business very well, as
their engagements now have lasted for the last fourteen
years ; but then it must be confessed the acting directions
are very easy, for they consist absolutely of nothing else
but " Enter Abd-el-Kader ; Exit Buoeactd : " and " Exit
Abd-el-Kader ; Enter Bugeaud."