Punch (10.1846)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

145

THE GERMAN SCHOOL.

The alarming spread of the German School in Art has created considerable astonishment ;
but the phenomenon has at length been accounted for, by it having been discovered that
the Committee of the Art Union cannot understand, and will not patronise any other class
of drawing. Every competition for the Art Union Prizes is consequently driven, in self-
defence, to adopt the serpent-like hair for the countenance, inflamed gooseberries for the eyes,
and tufts of tow for the mustaches, which are the principal features of the German School
of drawing.

We have furnished three striking specimens of this extraordinary class of composition :—

No. 1. Is supposed to represent that state of pathos into which a lawyer's clerk is liable
to fall after office hours, when giving himself up to Bulwer and melancholy, by reading a
novel of that author, and fancying himself the hero thereof.

No. 2. Is a victim to strong emotions, and to that excessive length of hair which implies an
inability to pay the perruquier's small demand.

No. 3. Is a warrior with that peculiar turn of the head which is not exactly to be found in
nature, but could no doubt be accomplished if Nature had only thought of supplying the
human neck with a sort of double swivel, allowing the head to be turned completely round, so
that the warrior's nose would be where his occiput ought to be.

We have thought proper to give these specimens of the German School, in order that
its merits may be fairly tested. The above figures embody all the beauties of this style,
which has found so much and such exclusive favour in the eyes of the Committee of the
Art Union.

THE ELECTRICAL MINISTER.

A great sensation has lately been produced at Paris by the wonderful feats of a young
lady, a Mademoiselle Angelique Cottin, who appears to be a sort of torpedo in petticoats.
Chairs and tables fly across the room on a touch from her apron, when she is charged with
the fluid, and she can be attracted or repulsed at will by the magnet.

It is, perhaps, not generally known that we possess a similar but much more wonderful
phenomenon amongst us. What is Mademoiselle Cottin's performance in this way to Sir
Robert Peel's ?

The following detail of experiments proves his infinitely greater powers of attraction
and repulsion :—

experiment l

The Premier, after being very heavily charged indeed during the late debate, being
placed on the Conservative benches by a single speech, succeeded in violently throwing
from him one half of the Conservative members, quite to the opposite side of the house.
Notwithstanding the tremendous efforts made by Sir Sidney Herbert and Sir James Graham
to hold these gentlemen in their places, the shock was so great that they were almost
knocked over themselves by the viol on op with which the Protectionists flew across. Mr.
Ferrand was flung with a tremendous shock against a knot of Free-traders, and talked
so very wildly that it was feared he had sustained a concussion of the brain. He is not yet
quite recovered.

experiment n.

Sir Robert, being again charged the night after, was found to possess the power of
attracting the League members, in the same proportion as he repelled the gentlemen of
the Central Agricultural Society in Bond Street. Mr. Cobden was drawn right across
the house, apparently without the least power of resistance.

experiment iii.

Sir Robert, being again charged, was put en rapport with Lord George Bentinck.
and Me. D'Israeli by means of silk (generally a non-conductor). Notwithstanding, he

drew the honourable members into a slough
of absurdity, and fixed them so tight in a
dilemma, that they were quite unable to get out
of it—until Sir Robert left the house.

experiment iv.
Sir Robert being again charged, and a
quantity of arguments presented to him by the
member for Northamptonshire, these, though
considered particularly strong by those who
selected them, were at once broken to pieces,
one after another, by a single sentence of Sir
Robert's. A gentleman of great scientific
acquirements, who has watched these experi-
ments, assures us that Sir Robert is quite as
powerful as the electric eel, and if possible, mor&
slippery.

Encouraged by the success of the Premier,
Mr. D'Israeli has announced his possession of
similar powers. He attempted, when fully
charged with sarcasm, and facts from M'Cul-
loch's Commercial Dictionary, to electrify the
House. The attempt was a total failure, and
Mr. D'Israeli is accordingly pronounced to be
an impostor.

THE MODERN OGRE.

We have hitherto held the monster termed
an Ogre to be a mere nursery horror ; a chimera
fabricated " to frighten babes withal." The late
frequent sacrifices of infant life, recorded in the
public journals, have, however, forced us to alter
our opinion. We now firmly believe in the
Ogre ; and not only that, but are persuaded that
he is an inhabitant of these dominions. We are
also satisfied that he has, as well as a name, a
local habitation in this country, nay in this
metropolis ; and that it is not a hundred miles
from Somerset House. That he eats children,
as well as kills them, we are not in a condition
to prove ; but we shall not be surprised if that
enormity should be brought home to him. That
this modern Herod, the slaughterer of the inno-
cents, should exist in a Christian land, is a great
scandal to the Legislature. Is there no Jack-the-
Giant-Killer, who will gallantly come forward-
and put an end to him ?

NAVAL OPERATIONS.

onsiderable excite-
ment has been occa-
sioned by some ex-
perimentswhich have
lately been tried in
the Thames Navy on
the same principle as
that recently applied
to the Bellerophony
which was got ready
for sea in sixty
hours, and got un-
ready again with
equal promptitude.
The Waterman, No.
6, took in coals and
ginger beer, manned
her paddle-box, lit
her fire, threw on a scuttle of coals, filled her
boiler, blackleaded her funnel, tarred her taffrail
and pitched her stoker into her engine-room,
all within twenty minutes, and sailed away from
her moorings at Paul's Wharf, amid the cheers
of her check-taker. This manoeuvre was accom-
plished for the purpose of striking terror into
the minds of the civic forces at Blackfriars Pier,
who are only tranquil at present in compliance
with the terms of a recent armistice.

Second-hand Jokes.—A burlesque has been
called by a popular dramatist, " The refuge for
destitute jokes."