Punch (10.1846)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

149

Though once I thought with life alone

Brought business to restore,
Oh take it hack, for now, I own,

You humbug me no more.-

Take back thy brief,

f Spoken.—Thomson, give it him hack immediately.]

For now I own,
You humbug me no more.'"

The above is a short specimen of such an entertainment as we propose
to write for any forensic vocalist who has the gift of telling anecdotes,
as well as the happy accomplishment of singing songs. Further parti-
culars may be known on application at the Punch Office.

COSTUMES FOR PARLIAMENT.

n consequence of the expected variation of cli-
mate in the new Houses of Parliament, under
the ventilating experiments of Dr. Eeid, it is
desirable that the Members should be suited
with costumes appropriate to the alterations,
from polar coldness to tropical heat, which they
will have to encounter in future sessions. Sib
R. Peel, who knows the effect of Dr. Reid's
hot blasts and cold currents, is preparing a
perfect set of " Costumes of all Nations," to be
ready for future campaigns in Parliament. The
Premier has an entire suit of sables, made
picturesquely into the habit of a native of Lap-
land, to be worn on those eventful evenings on
which Dr. Reid favours the Legislature by
pumping in upon them an atmosphere of Fahren-
heit's severest frost; and the Right Honourable
Baronet has an Indian planter's dress, to be put
on when the Doctor is trying the effect of hot
air and vapour, at the temperature of 96°, by way of variety.

It is all very well to talk of the heat of debate, but the enterprising
Reid will take care no debate shall be so hot as to be without its cool
moments, at the very instant when it has come to the hottest. Any one
who has tried the effect of sitting
by the fire of a ship's cabiD in a
storm, with the sea and wind roar-
ing down the cabin stairs on one
■side, whenever the door above is
•opened, and the fire on the other
almost roasting the unhappy pas-
senger, will be able to form some
notion of the practical effect of
Dr. Reid's experiments.

The theory is all correct, of
course, and quite first-rate in its
way ; but no one likes being par-
boiled, and cooled down again,
even upon scientific principles.
The above little sketches of Par-
liamentary Fashions, to suit the
alternate mildness and inclemency
of Dr. Reid, will be found very
serviceable to the members of the Legislature, to whom we most
respectfully dedicate them.

THE PECKSNIFFERY!

RIVALRY TO PUNCH, AT LAST.

We take it to be rather unkind of our usually amiable contemporary
the Times, that he should have suggested the only opposition at which
Punch can possibly tremble. It has been suggested to Alma Mater to
publish portions of its regulations with reference to University
education. Such a budget of broad humour we confess we could
scarcely hope to equal in richness. We shall take an early opportunity
of looking into them ourselves, and shall endeavour to be beforehand
with our academical opponents, by laying some of the raciest bits
before a British public at the earliest possible opportunity.

MORE GLORY.

Another horse of Abd-el-Kader has been shot this week. One
would fancy that the principal object of the expedition into Algiers was
to supply France with cats'-meat.

VERY NATURAL.
A split, it is rumoured, has taken place in the Carlton Club. We
might expect fissures where so many are upholders of rents.

We have duly possessed the public with our intention of giving a
tremendous lift to the manufacturers of England, by laying before the
world correct engravings of every variety of bellows, dust-pan, cork-
screw, nightcap, hearth-rug, kettle-holder, teapot, &c. At this
moment our confidential writers, duly attended by proper artists, are
making the tour of Birmingham, Manchester, Sheffield, the Potteries,
and other places. Now, rigidly keeping to the line marked out for
ourselves, we shall keep all the articles reviewed, and thus shall
furnish, from top to bottom, the Pecksniffery with presentation
furniture. This very circumstance must, of course, give a tremen-
dous impetus to the trade of the country; for it must be imme-
diately conceded that there will be a mighty rush to secure the same
pattern-bellows that blows up the Wall's-end at the Pecksniffery—
the same dustpan that receives its dust and dirt, if dust or dirt can
defile such a temple ! We know that there are grovelling and selfish
creatures who may be vile and base enough to attribute this peculiar
mode of furnishing the Pecksniffery to the interested motives of the
proprietor. By no means. In making the Pecksniffery as magnificent
and as cosey as the industrial labours of England can render it, the
proprietor has but one wish beating at his heart—namely, the wish, the
inextinguishable desire to encourage the manufacturers of his beloved
country ! And this, he thinks, he will achieve in a manner wholly
characteristic of his enterprise and greatness of soul, by grouping
under one hospitable roof—for it is the intention of the pro-
prietor of the Pecksniffery once a-week to throw open the hall-
doors to the dilettanti of the land—toast-and-water and rusks to be
liberally supplied on the occasion—under one roof, the most beauti-
ful samples of the manufactures of the land. Thus, the visitor
will behold the glories of Birmingham, Manchester, &c, &c., at little
more than one glance, and at only the expense of cab-hire to Penton-
ville ! (N.B. Master manufacturers forwarding candelabra, bedsteads,
tesselated pavement, tinder-boxes, &c. &c, are desired to send their
goods for review, carriage paid. And let them perfectly well under-
stand—for this fact cannot be too frequently, too earnestly insisted
upon—that all manufactures reviewed, are kept !)

Altogether, we think the Pecksniffery does great credit to the
genius of the architect, who, having in the erection mixed so many
orders of art, may, we think, lay claim to the discovery of a new-
order, to be known henceforth as the Art-Union Order. All the ex-
ternal points of the Pecksniffery are admirably suggestive of its
purpose. It combines the utility of the shop for marine stores with
the florid beauties of one of the oldest Halls of England. We particu-
larly direct the attention to the bold yet graceful details of the boot-
jacks, and to the felicitous thought embodied in the knocker.