Punch (10.1846)

216

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

STREET STEEPLE-CHASES.

The sport of steeple-chasing having lately become very popular, we Metropolitan Steeple-chase. The well-known valour of the drivers, who
beg leave to recommend its adoption in some of our metropolitan tho- i are always ready to outrun discretion, if their horses will gallop fast
roughfares. The grand fun of a steeple-chase seems to consist in the j enough, would induce them to plunge without hesitation into the midst
risk people run, and the difficulty they encounter in urging their j of sewers and gas-pipes, or to go bounding over lumps of granite,
horses across yawning chasms, and other kinds of obstacles. There is blocks of wood, and every other obstacle which the paving, lighting'
often difficulty in .selecting a spot where the impediments are sufficiently I and watering authorities are so constantly offering to the traffic of
numerous. We have, therefore, only to suggest the Strand, Holborn, ' the Metropolis.

or Oxford Street, one or other of which thoroughfares is always
in a condition to admit of the fine old English sport of a steeple-
chase.

As the excitement caused by the danger forms the most interesting
portion of the pastime, we think the fun of the thing would be greatly

enhanced by allowing omnibuses and cabs to take a part in a grand suggested.

A steeple-chase from Charing Cross to the Bank, including the deli-
cious bits of wood pavement, here and there, for the horses to slide
about upon, and the five or six barriers of one kind or another, that
are sure to be in operation in different parts of the projected route,
would render it exceedingly well adapted for the purpose we have

GOVERNESSES' BENEVOLENT INSTITUTION.

In furtherance of the objects of this most useful charity, it is in con-
templation to establish a School, for the purpose of preparing young ladies
destined to be governesses, for the situations they are intended to fill.
The necessity of teaching those who are to be teachers, and of instruct-
ing the governess how to govern, is obvious ; the pupils, accordingly,
will learn all the modern languages and accomplishments—geography,
astronomy, the use of the globes, and so much of moral philosophy as
includes the true principles of education. But as the social position of
a governess is a peculiar one, being, as a novelty, rather uncomfortable,
though, like a certain process to which eels are subjected, nothing
when anybody is used to it. One great object of this School will be to
familiarise the pupils with the life they may expect to lead. Its
arrangements will therefore comprise a system of training calculated
for the inculcation of an amount of practical as well as moral
philosophy adequate, to this purpose.

To the Institution will be attached a Servants' Hall, wherein, at
stated times, will attend a number of footmen and other menials, to
intercourse with whom the future governess may be habituated, and
whose insults and impertinences she may learn betimes to put up with.
A nursery will also be connected with it, in order to exercise her
patience in the management of refractory children, at which proba-
tion the students will take turns. The children will be selected
from the most purse-proud families, and their mammas will drop in
every now and then, daily, and reprimand and find fault capriciously
and unjustly with their preceptress, so as to inure her to such treat-
ment. Some charitable ladies of great style, in the vicinity of Russell
Square, have volunteered their services in this particular. One of
these ladies will, moreover, preside regularly at dinner to teach the
language of looks, that the learner may understand, from a glance,
when she is to refuse wine, or to decline another helping.

Evening parties will be given occasionally, in the schoolroom, and to
them will be invited a number of agreeable men, that the "young per-
sons " may know how to behave in society ; that is, to hold their
tongues and sit still. Eor the due enforcement of these proprieties, one
of the ladies aforesaid will also be present, accompanied by her daugh-
ters, bv whom the scholars are to be studiously snubbed, by way of a
lesson "to them in meekness under contumely. The novices, during

j leisure hours, are to sit in separate apartments, accessible to all the
servants, who, however, will not be allowed to wait upon them, or
bring them any refreshment, if hungry from the insufficiency of their
meals. Their dresses are to be such as a young lady can afford upon
twenty pounds a year, finding herself in everything but her victuals,
and not having, by half, as much of those as she can eat.

Thus, it may be hoped, will governesses be provided with qualifica-
tions high enough, wants few enough, and spirit humble enough, to
meet the views of any lady in the land.

£l Shower of Blacking:.

The Worcestershire Guardian says :—" A most extraordinary storm of
black rain fell in the northern part of Worcestershire last week. For
two hours this extraordinary shower lasted, and the pools, water-
courses, and even the Severn itself, were completely turned black."
What could this have been ? Had Apollo, in a fit of indignation at
some recent attempts, been throwing his ink-stand at Melpomene's
head ? or had old Vulcan been washing himself, and upset the basin ?
We see no other way of accounting for the raining powers in Wor-
cestershire having gone into mourning.

ON THE RAILWAY WINDING UP.

Committees cannot be believed,

At items there '11 be lots of cavilling;

Before the " winding-up "'s achieved,
Some mysteries will need unravelling.

To Evening Party Givers.—The only substitute for Tea: Brandy
and-water.

Printed by William Bradbury, of No. G. York Hace, Stoke New in^ion, and Frederick Mullett Kvana,
of No. "■ Cburrh How, t^toRe Newinirton, both in the County of Middlesex, Printers, at their
Office, in Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriara, in the City of London, and pub-
lished by thrill, at No. IB, fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride's, in the City of London.—
Satubdat, Ma* 9, 1&16.