Punch (10.1846)

254 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

PHILOSOPHICAL REFLECTIONS ON THE DERBY DAY.

Accident on the Derby Bay.

Oh, let me try and recollect, if anyhow I may, THE " VEILED "' OF EPS< >M.
The hurry, scurry, worry, flurry, of the Derby Day.

There s first the being woke at six, in temper rather surly, | ^As me simmer is setting in, it will by no means surprise us—after
In order to be up and down for all the earlv burly. > ^ha* we *f7 011 the Derby day—if Mr. Tyler, to protect the corn-
There s breakfast waiting ; but of course you've got no time to eat it; ?J.exw? of '?;1S / iinoceros, should hang before its countenance a fine
A message says, the carriage waits, and you must run to meet it. Mechlin web of lace ; for some hundred or two individuals in the mas-
You 're off, and just arrive in time to find your friends debating c'lh"e were seen uPon the wa7 t0 and from the course, with veils
What right have you especially, to keep the rest all waiting ? of blue aQd green tastefully bound about their hats. Some folks, how-
There 's then a precious piece of work to get you to your places ; ever> declared that they were not men, but nuns from Eermondsey, cut
P'rhaps on an iron rail you 're perch'd, to travel to the races. on a fjolf 5 ?MJ* others averred that the veiled were unfortunate
You 're off at last, when o'er a stone perchance the carriage passes, ^f^t^7°' f?arin= to meet their creditors, wore coloured rags to
To a running accompaniment of wine and broken glasses. mde tneir debtor iaces.

But very soon you all agree 'tis useless to complain ; __

So on you go, and lay the dust with sherry and champagne.
To shun the crowd, a quiet road perchance you've made selection of,
Which the two post-boys can't at all find out the right direction of ;

And so they gallop you about, over the self-same ground, The Umbrella, which is now performing at the Adelphi, met with an

Until you go a circuit where you re never gaining ground. accident on Wednesdav last, which might have been attended with

At length, when for an hour or so you've wander'd quite astray, serious consequences, "it seems that it went to the Derby, but re-

You see a line of vehicles which points you out your way: turning home, it was thrown out of its carriage, and had two of its ribs

You join the throng, and get behind some snob who will insist d broken, besides being dreadfully bruised about the nozzle, and injured

Playing all sorts of tunes upon a Cornet call'd a Piston. m the head> It was carried immediately to an adjoining Hospital for

Your basket of provisions wins you many a vulgar laugh ; Umbrellas, in Maiden Lane, to have its ribs reset, and was recovered

Your horses too are treated with an extra feed of chaff. just in time t0 make its appearance before an apology had been made

You stop awhile to bait them, in the groom's peculiar way, for jjg indisposition.

Hubbing their tender noses with a whisp of moistened hay. _
There's something in a whisp of hay—when wet—that I suppose is

A glorious specific for all equestrian noses. - «_,*, . „„r

It may be for a horse's snout a tonic very fine, T0 MILITARY IMPOSTORS.

I only know I shouldn't like that sort of thing for mine. Found, on the Epsom Eace-Course, a pair of moustaches. They

Away you go, until you near the horrid turnpike gate, are of a dark colour, and turned up at each end. The proprietor

When you 're compelled to slacken much your ordinary rate. can have them by sending his name and address to the Punch Office."
And every one is bent upon the mad, ambitious prank,
Of getting very far before those of his proper rank.
But now, arrived upon the Downs, I '11 not exhaust my force
In a description of a sight that's quite a thing of course.

How one, upon the Derby Day, from Epsom does return, Our Derby Prophecy has been literally fulfilled, and our portrait of

Is often 'midst the mysteries one can't contrive to learn. the winner has been amply realised. We said that the first horse would

On looking at my coat and boots next day, I felt, I trust, be successful, and Ptrrhus the First was clearly indicated in onr

That vlcasurc is but vanity, and man is only dcst ! remarkable prediction.

Our Derby Prophecy.