Punch: Punch (11.1846)

104

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE NEW AERIAL OMNIBUS.

In consequence of the repeated blocking up of the principal London
thoroughfares, a plan has been proposed for opening two lines of com-
munication by means of strong lines of rope, capable of tearing the
weight of vehicles. So that by suspending the carriages, the incon-
venience of suspending the intercourse between different points will be
altogether avoided. It is evident that the only method of surmounting
the difficulties of transit which are being continually raised by paviors,

commissioners of sewers, and others, is by literally passing over them.
Stations for taking up and setting down might be opened at the various
columns and steeples on the line of road, commencing with the Monu-
ment on Fish Street Hill, stopping at Nelson's pillar for the passengers
to and from Chari ng Cross, continuing to the Duke of York, and
concluding, while Piccadilly is in its present state of blockade, at one
of the arches of Hyde Park Corner.

PUNCH AND THE GOVERNMENT.

T is not, perhaps, generally known
that we received a communication
offering us the Government organship,
but the proposal sent to us turned out
to be a gross forgery. We have reason
to believe that the imposition was at-
tempted by the same unprincipled

We met !—'twas in Shoe Lane, I Mrs. G. got very coarse,

And I thought not she'd done me ; And I rivall'd her eoarsene3S

She came—I could not breathe,

For her leaders were on me.
She spoke !—her words I took,

A little bit alter"d ;
We swore the Times was false,

But 'twas we who had falter'd.

breaking-up of Parliament. The Speech will then go on to say, that
Her Majesty is not sorry to have got rid of Peel, who was becoming
TT is not, perhaps, generally known rather impracticable, and that she hopes Russell will prove more easy
j- that wo T-or.oivc.ri a onmmninVatinTi to deal with. Satisfaction will then be expressed at the Report of the

Andover Committee ; while indignation and astonishment will be
acknowledged at the Poor Law Commissioners not having resigned,
though a hope will be confidently added of their doing so at once, to
prevent the necessity for their expulsion.

The miserable accommodation ia Buckingham Palace will then be
and heartless persons who succeeded j feelingly dwelt upon, and a sum asked for Country excursions rendered
in hoaxing Mrs. Harris and Mrs. Gamp, j indispensable by the uncomfortable state of the royal residence,
when those unfortunate females were i The state of our relations with the East will then be deplored, and
exposed to ridicule by having listened ; the blockade of Fleet-street grievously lamented. Allusion will be
to the voice of the base deceiver. We j made to treaties pending with the Paving Boards, and to the difficulty
believe that poor Mrs. IIai~ris was ! of effecting an arrangement, on account of the number of parties
taken in by placing too much reliance I necessary to the treaty, in consequence of the hostile attitude of the
on the confident assurances of her gas, the sewers, and the water-works.

grand maternal relative, the vene- The Wellington Statue will be slightly glanced at, and a doubt ex-
rable Mrs. Gamp, and the former has j pressed as to the propriety of throwing such an onus on the British
frequently been heard singing to the public.

latter, in notes plaintive with femi-1 Thanks will be offered for the 'supplies, and great stress will be laid

on the value of liberal measures.

Attention will be called to the still unfinished state of the Nelscn
Column, and a wish expressed that this lamentable affair could be
buried in oblivion, or anywhere else, that might admit of the burial of
such a huge grievance.

A paragraph will then be devoted to Westminster Bridge, and a hint
will be thrown out that this disgrace to the peerage ought not to be
suffered any longer to interfere with the prospects of the British Par-
liament."

Such was the pretended statement of the contents of the Speech
on the prorogation of Parliament.

nine feebleness, the following touching
stanzas, to the air of

WE MET.

We croak'd our joint abuse

Till we suffer'd from hoarseness-
We call'd all sorts of names,

Which recoil'd on each other :
Oh ! thou hast been the cause
Of this failure, grand-mother.

We, however, who have none of the old-womanly softness of the
parties alluded to, were not deceived after the first glance at the com-
munication that had been sent to us, which we instantly detected to be
an audacious forgery. It offered to confer upon us the Government
Organship ; and, as an earnest of sincerity, we were presented with
the following outline of the intended contents of the Speech on the pro-
rogation of Parliament ; which we print now, for the purpose of
shaming the unprincipled impostor who sent us an account so com-
pletely at variance with what actually occurred on the prorogation of
Parliament. It is fortunate for our character for sagacity, that we
kept the matter back until after we had been able to test its accuracy
by the actual result. We now give it, just as it reached us : —

" We may anticipate that the country in general, and newspaper
writers, reporters, &c. in particular, will be congratulated on the

An Itinerant Bishop.

In the list of persons attending various public meetings in England,
we frequently find the name of the Bishop of Jamaica. There is no
objection to this in itself, but we can't help wondering how Jamaica
can be getting on in the absence of its Bishop. While he is instilling
teetotalism and other virtues into the British public we very naturally
wonder what his Indian flock may be about, for it is proverbial that
the people of Jamaica are, commercially and familiarly speaking,
" rum customers."

Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 6, York Place, Stoke Newinjrton, and Frederick Mullett Evans
of No. 7, Church Row, Stoke Newinjrton, both in the County of Middlesex, Printers, at their
Office, in Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and published
by them, at No. 85, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride's, in the City of London.—Sa.to»dai,
September 5, 1846.