Punch: Punch (11.1846)

184

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

INDIAN-RUBBER RAILWAYS.

Among the new schemes of the day perhaps the most notable or not—
able is a project for pulling the public along a railway by means of
Indian Eubber. This is all very well in its way ; but when we ask ho w
the Indian Rubber is to act, the well known exclamation, " Aye !
there's the rub !" intrusively suggests itself. We understand that
there is to be an elastic band attached to the horse or carriage that is

to be drawn along, and the elastic band will of course " pull out;" a
process that is likewise expected from the shareholders. The force
with which the elongated caoutchouc will contract, must necessarily
drag anything attached to it towards a given point with considerable
velocity. The travellers will thus be nicely drawn in, and so will the
public, if any money is deposited on the faith of the project.

^uncij'g Serenade.

Oh where, and oh where, is my Harry Brougham gone ?—
He's gone to see the French, and Philippe upon his throne,
And it's oh ! in my heart, I wish him safe at home.

Oh where, and oh where, does my Harry Brougham dwell ?—
He dwells at Cannes in bonny France, and likes it very well;
But recollect 'tis not the Cann's where gravy soup they sell.

In what clothes, in what clothes, is your Harry Brougham clad ? -
His hunting coat's of velvet green, his trowsers are of plaid ;
And it's oh ! in my heart he can't look very bad.

Suppose, and suppose, that your Harry Brougham should die !—
Dog Toby would weep over him, and Punch himself would cry :
But it's oli ! in our hearts that we hope he will not die.

MODEL HOUSES.

It has been the fashion lately to export to the colonies Model
Houses. They take to pieces and are put together again like a Chinese
puzzle. They have, likewise, the advantage of being packed in a very
small compass. A gentleman who went over to Sydney this year
assured us he had his drawing-room in his trunk, the parlour in his
portmanteau, the attic in his carpet-bag, the kitchen in his hat-box,
and the scullery in hi3 coat pocket. A Gray's Inn Lane contractor
has favoured us with the following list of houses he has recently built
for Australia :— »

A Moeel Lodging House.—This has been arranged upon the plan
of the lodging-houses in London. The house is made to contain as
many rooms as possible. Cupboards are fitted up as bedrooms, and
beds are ingeniously concealed in piano-fortes, sideboards, and chests-
of-drawers. Two keys have been sent to every lock—one for the use
of the lodger and the other for the landlady. The pantry is small, as
it has been found that nothing evef keeps in a lodging-house pantry
longer than a day. A large pump is also fitted up in the cellar. The
most singular thing is, that for the number of rooms in this model
house there is only one bell, which communicates with the drawing-
room ; the other rooms have bells, only all the wires are broken.
Accommodation is provided for not more than one servant, whose bed
in the kitchen has been cleverly contrived to pull in and out, exactly
like the large drawer of a kitchen dresser. One mustard-pot, one
coal-scuttle, one dish-cover, one teapot, one pair of sugar-tongs have
been sent out as the furniture of this model house. Every domestic
article, in fact, is limited to one—the unities have been beautifully pre-
served. A long list of " extras," as charged in London, has been sent
out with the house. It includes boot-cleaning, attendance, towels, and
the use of a Britannia fork and spoon. A big cat accompanies this
model house ; it has a very broad back, so as to be able to bear all the
broken things that, in a lodging house, are always put upon it.

A Model Church.—The peculiarity about this model of a London
Church is, that the whole body of it is taken up with privatepews, beau-

tifully carpetted, with velvet cushions ; whilst the free sittings arc-
comparatively few and niggardly. Outside the private pews is written
" One Shilling," as a guide what to charge for the price of a seat.

A Model House of Commons —This house is built exclusively of
wood, as it is intended to contain the heads of the nation. It i3
divided into two sides—the side that is " in," and the " out" side.

In the corner there is an immense dust-bin for the reception of the
petitions. The house is beautifully ventilated, and there are pipes, as
in a bath, marked " hot" and " cold," which any member can turn
when he wishes, for a fresh supply of air. Several models of the
Speaking Automaton have been sent out with this model House of
Commons.

A Model Theatre.—This theatre is like most London theatres,
half of the seats being so arranged that the spectator cannot see, and
the other half that he cannot hear.

i

A French Dictionary and a complete set of " La France Dramatique "
have been sent out with the model. A statue of Shakjspeare is to be
put over the portico, "just for the look of the thing."

posthumous renown.

The Duke of Leeds has closed Glen Lin Beg, the Duke of Atit^l
Glen Tilt, against the tourist. Long live both their Graces ! but
should anything happen to either of them, how appropriate to him will
be the simple epitaph,—" Stop, Traveller I "