Punch: Punch (11.1846)

258

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

vally of monarchy. Well, I calculate that every housemaid out of
fifty presenting you with her thimble, we shall have at least two thou-
sand bushels, three hundred pecks, two quarts, of silver thimbles."

"Lor !" ses L "And what, Governor, shall we do with 'em ? "

" Send 'em to the Mint," says Barnum, " and melt 'em into dollar
pieces."

THE RISING GENERATION-

First Juvenile. "Half-a-dozen Cheroots, if they are good."
Second Juvenile. " And I say, old boy, while yer hand's in, just fill
my box with Brown Rappee."

ROYAL DISINTERESTEDNESS.

A very amusing letter has been printed, from Duke d'Assis to the
Count be Montemolin, in which the former tries to persuade the latter
to marry the royal lady, who is now the wife of the writer of the
epistle. We congratulate the husband on the promptitude with which
he got up his affection in time to meet the wishes of his country, and
was prepared to centre his happiness, at a few weeks' notice, on a fair
object he had so lately most earnestly recommended as the wife of
another. The Duke, however, hints that if his beloved cousin will not
take the lady, and cement his own and the nation's happiness, he, the
Duke, must go through that operation. If ever there was a choice that
decidedly deserved the name of Hobson's, it is this of'the Duke d'Assis
in his thus amiably taking the partner declined by the Count de
Montemolin. The whole transaction is a precious piece of satire on
royal marriages. We are afraid Heaven only makes the common ones,
and that royal marriages are the work of some other manufactory.

.A. True Triplet.

Oh where, and oh where shall the ducal Statue go ?
The arch it is too high, and the ground it is too low;
And 'tis oh, 'pon my word, I'm sure I do not know.

(Spoken.) Do you, reader ? Can you really tell me what would be the
best site for hiding such a sight altogether ? No, no, I see you are as
much at fault as I am ; so we may as well both of us sing—

And 'tis oh, 'pon my word, I'm sure I do not know.

the curfew.

This remnant of the dark ages still exists in many lodging-houses,
where landladies who find coals and candles are dreadfully afraid of1
fire. The fact of all the lights being extinguished, is communicated by
the kitchen bell being violently rung, which is a signal for all the
servants to go immediately to bed.

©fie on a prospect of tfje &ootttton of ©ton
Jffilontem.

Ye distant spires, ye antique tow'rs,

That crown the wat'ry glade,
Where Aristocracy's young flowers

Bless Henry's holy shade,
For culture which the monarch meant
For scholars poor and indigent ;

Unable for their lore to pay—
Some grumbling churls, in language strong,
Pronounce this change a wicked wrong,

No matter what they say !

Ah hapless tow'rs ! ah luckless spires !

Ah statutes shirk'd amain !
That high-born sons of noble sires

Might learning gratis gain ;
The gales that from your quarters blow
Oppress me with a sense of woe ;

For they a horrid rumour bring
That Eton Montem is to be
At length abolish'd.—Goodness me !

Oh what a shocking thing !

Say, Hill of Salt, for thou hast seen

Full many a noble race
Do what might be considered mean

In any other case—
With cap in hand, and courtly leg,
Waylay the traveller, and beg ;

Say, was it not a pleasing sight
Those young Etonians to behold,
For eleemosynary gold,

Arrest the passing wight ?

Whilst some, of more excursive bent,

Their vagrant arts to ply,
To all the various places went

That in the neighbourhood lie ;
To Datchet, Slough, or Horton they,
Or e'en to Colnbrook, took their way,

Or ancient Windsor's regal town ;
Stopp'd everybody they could meet,
Knock'd at each house in every street,

In hopes of half-a-crown.

Gay clothes were theirs, by fancy made ;

Some were as Romans drest,
Some in the Grecian garb array'd,

Some bore the knightly crest ;
Theirs was attire of every hue,
Of every fashion, old or new,

Various as Nathan's ample store ;
Angelic beings ! Ladies ! say,
Will ye let these things pass away ?

Must Montem be no more ?

Alas ! our institutions old

Are going, one by one ;
The work of innovation bold

With Montem has begun ;
Next flogging it will overthrow,
And fagging, too, of course will go,

And then farewell the good old school!
Science with Latin and with Greek
To mix e'en now Reform would seek ;

Ah, tell her she's a fool!

To all their likings, and their taste,

Their fancies and their qualms ;
Some gentlemen may feel debased

By sons who ask for alms ;
Yet youthful Lord, and stripling Duke,
To beg for salt, without rebuke,

At Montem always were allowed :—
What argument can answer this ?
No more—where beggary is bliss,

'Tis folly to be proud.

BRITISH LINERS.
The submarine telegraph has been laid down successfully at
Portsmouth. This is the most literal instance we have yet heard «
Britannia ruling the waves.