Punch (12.1847)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

51

A TEEMENDOUS TENOR.

Among the tenors announced as about to appear at Her Majesty's
Theatre, is one of the name of Fraschtni, who according to Lablache,
has such a voice as to make it appear that he sings from his eyes and
ears. This will enable him to sing a quartette all by himself, for what
with a voice in each ear, and the assistance of his two favourite pupils
in his eyes, he can make up four parts with the greatest facility.
His eyes will probably be merely secondary in his musical efforts,
acting as a sort of accompaniment in the shape of a couple of organs
of vision. Rossini, it appears, called the same gentleman the
"Tenore della maladizione," or the tenor of the curse, on account of his
terrific power of cursing all the artistes he is in the habit of singing
with.

PUNCH'S SPANISH BALLADS.

king montemolin and the glory of peter borthwick.

Not by clear Manzanares, beneath a Spanish sun,
But by muddy Thames he rideth, thro' fog-wreath damp and dun ;
His Prado is the Quadrant, his Plaza Leicester Square,
No Spanish eyes nor ancles, twinkling fans, nor mantas there 1

Ay de mi I

Was never, since Boabdil, a king like Montemolin ;
Was never such a Court, since poor Charles Edward went a strollin';
But stilL a crown's a crown, though base and brassy be its ring,
And London is a pleasant place wherein to play at king !

Ay de mil

All the morn the King transacteth what business he may—
Such as settling of a bill of fare, or, mayhap, of the play ;

Yc Kinge rfxieve5 Jenkins ofys'Post'

Then unctuous Peter Borthwick ushers in, with dignitie,
The " persons of distinction " who crowd to the levee.

Ay de mil

Sure ne'er was such a gracious king, sure ne'er was royal fist
Bow'd over by such visitors, or by such courtiers kiss'd,
Since, on the stage of Drury Lane, in the pageant coronation,
Great Elliston played George the Fourth with general approbation.

Ay de mil

Then comes the royal progress through London's fair citie,
At St. Paul's the usual twopence is waived to royaltie ;
Within the Tower the beef-eaters expect an extra fee,
Which Borthwick hath no orders to pay, so lets it be.

A y de mi I

Then come more " distinguish'd persons " for the royal salutation,
Including the officials of our glorious Corporation ;
From the Mayor that sitteth in Guildhall to the Alderman who stands,
To his credit, at the counter, with a cheese-knife in his hands !

Ay de mi (

Then back to lunch, where Borthwick his dignity postpones,
To present the pewter to the King upon his marrow-bones ;
His Majesty, to the health of Spain, hath drain'd it like a shot,
And for largesse upon Peter bestowed hath the pot!

Ay de mil

But the crowning joy for Peter of all the joyous day
Is when in state and glory they ride forth to the play,

JYUnm^ Kecieves ^ KlNGE

^tYc the at he

And with wax-lights backward boweth the spirited lessee,
Webster, Keelef, or whoever the favor'd man may be.

Ay de mi I

But hollow though the royalty the Morning Post bestows,

And blatant though thy Borthwick, and silly though thy shows ;

Mayhap this poor dejure sham of London shows as fair

As the de facto sham Madrid presents so debonnair.

A y de mi 1

Thou hast no Prance, to smile askance, and trip you as he smiles;
Thou'st no Christine, like that poor Queen, thoufear'st no mother's wiles,
Thy plots are more burlesque than base, thy court more fool than knave;
She has Bresson for a master, thou hast Borthwick for a slave.

Ay de mi!

A POLITICAL PLIRT.

Lord Brougham, after his long flirtation with France, seems disposed
to make amorous advances towards Austria. His Lordship has declared
himself particularly anxious for an alliance with the latter, and says
he is, at heart, thoroughly wedded to that country. The only lawful
connexion he is capable of forming is with England, but he has jilted
her long ago, to take up with Prance, which he is now desirous of
cutting for a newer attachment. We trust the poverty of Prance is
not the cause of the ex-Chancellor's coldness. We hope it will not
pass into a proverb, that " When trouble comes in at the door [Lord
Brougham flies out at the window." We do not know what England
will say to his second foreign attachment. Brotoham, with Austria
on one hand, and Prance on the other, singing " How happy could I
be with either," would form a very striking picture.

Tim© Vultures of Parliament.

The political naturalist will be interested to know that there exists
in these islands a peculiar species of vulture, which has not as yet
been described in our national ornithologies. These vultures are com-
monly called Parliamentary Agents ; and the propriety of their classi-
fication with the Vulture tribe has been established by the complaint
of " A Victim," in the Times. This individual states, that, for the
mere procuring of an Act of Parliament, unopposed, for the purpose of
improving his own estate, he had to pay £1,850, of which no less than
£800 was swallowed up by these Agents. It thus appears that in
voracity these creatures equal the Condor itself. It may not, unhap-
pily, be possible to effect their extirpation ; but surely some effectual
means of protection ought to be adopted against their ravages.