Punch (12.1847)

114

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

A ROW OF HEADS.

It is rumoured that one of the first effects of the royal Chancellor- academical appendage, and "the tip" will be the distinguishing mark
«hip will be a general Germanising of the costume and appearance of of all the tutors The Proctors, having already been pretty well bearded
the members of the University. The moustache 'will become an by the press, will require nothing additional.

REVOLUTION AT MUNICH.—BEAUTY'S BULL-DOG.

t'R Bavarian Correspondent
has s^nt us the following
account.—" Lola Montes,
own sister we believe to the
matador Montes, walks
about Munich with a bull-
, dog. Both parties have of
late created some disturb-
ance ; we mean both the dog
and the dog's lady. Lola's
dog having a slight alterca-
cation with the horses of a
carman, the man remarked
thereon. At the word, Lola
— not having, as we suppose,
her dagger about her—at-
tacked him with her um-
brella She then took refuge
in a chemist's shop, and the
mob assailed the house,
calling upon the chemist to give up both the dog and the—the lady.
The door was barred, and in a few minutes Lola was seen with her
faithful dog at the first-floor window ; Lola holding a quart-bottle in
her hand, labelled ' poison,' and intimating that she would drink rather
than surrender. The king, hearing of her danger, in his devotion to the
arts ordered out the garrison, arid with very little bloodshed the lady was
rescued, returning to the palace, seated on a brass field-piece, the band
playing ' We '11 not go home trll morning.' "

[Further Particulars.]
" Eight o'clock. The populace have taken heart, led on by the insulted
carman. At this moment (for I write with everything passing under
my eyes and coming into my ears) they demand the head of Lola
Montes. This is stoutly refused by the king ; but a flag of truce has
issued from the gates, offering in place of her head the lady's dancing
slippers. The faithful bull-dog has just been captured by a patriotic
pork and sausage-man, and hurried off to his own shop. The animal
will, no doubt, re-appear, like his mistress, in several pieces."

[Latest Particulars.']
"Donna Lola Montes in the centre of a solid square of cavalry, has
just been escorted to an unknown castle. The ministers have insisted
upon the measure. It is, however, believed that the favourite carries
with her the crown of Bavaria in a bonnet-box, with the whole of the
treasury in her reticule."

[Still Later Particulars.']
"I regret to write that the King is alarmingly indisposed. There is
some talk of issuing a writ cle lunatico. All yesterday he insisted upon
believing himself a Spanish fly. and did nothing but buzz. To-day, the
humour is changed, and he has strongly declared that his head U
turned to a pair of castanets ; and he does nothing but dance to his
own music.

"I open my letter to inform you, that a placard has just been issued,
calling the whole populace to a solemn sausage supper this evening."

MYRMIDONS OF THE MINT.

The authorities of the Mint, it appears, are in the habit of allowing
the policemen employed by them a large remuneration in addition to
their regular stipend. This, of course, operates as a premium on the
apprehension of coiners. The Mint authorities remind us of certain
farmers, who allow the village boys the sum of one farthing for the head
of every sparrow that they produce ; the sparrow thus having a price
set upon its head as a depredator—a feathered rogue in grain. By this
expedient many sparrows are destroyed, but also not a few linnets and
yellow-hammers, whose innocent heads, by a little management, may-
be easily made to pass for passerine. The question is, whether, under
a corresponding temptation, the metropolitan policemen may not some-
times play a similar trick ? May not a few unoffending heads have
occasionally' been sacrificed to the Mint ? If there is any such phreno-
logical organ as Detectiveness, we fear that the Mint must render it a
great deal too active.

Finality.

Lord John tells us that the Reform Bill has arrived at a state of
Finality. There are many other things which resemble Reform, and
stand in as much need of it. There is the Nelson Column, which has
arrived at a state of finality, for not a stone of it has been turned
since we have thrown so many at it. There is the Income-Tax, the
finality of which seems to be, thanks to Ireland, just as positive as
that of the Nelson Column ; for though it was to have been finished
at the end of three years, we are afraid it will be left standing for
future ages to point at as a monument that ought to have been finished
and cleared away long ago. The only thing which does not seem to
have reached a state of finality, is the National Debt. It seems,
directly the Whigs come into power, as if theie never would be an end
to it.

NATURE AND ART

Major Beniowskl, a Pol?, who is celebrated for a new system of
artificial memory, has been brought up on a charge of violent assault.
We are afraid the Major's system of memory must be very artificial
indeed, if it allows him so easily to forget himself.

HTJMANITV OF ST. STEPHEN'S.

Parliament appears disposed to mitigate, in some measure, the
punishment to which poverty is liable. Poor operatives, when the
Factory Bill has passed, will only have eleven hours on the mill

The General Fast.—One b'essing must, at least, come of this fast,
namely, that if Messrs. Spooner and Plumptre act up to their prin-
ciples, they must—for one day at least—keep their mouths shut

Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 8, York Place, Stoke Newlngton, and Frederick Mullett Knuii,
of No. 7, Church Row, Stoke Newirurton, both In the County of Middlesex, Printer*, at their
Office, in Lombard Street, in the Precinct of White friars, in the City of London, and published
bv them, at No. 83, Fleet Street, in the Pariah of St. BiWa, In the City of London.- Satubdat,
Mabch 13, 1347.