Punch (12.1847)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

157 j

throughout England, would afford the most admirable point for the
painter ; who might possibly be able to draw upon his own personal
experience for the original of the group he designed to perpetuate on
his canvas.

Perhaps, however, the finest subject for the six-pound paint-brush of
a Poussin, or any other master of the pictorial art, would be the por-
trait of that impassioned creature, Briefless, with his whole soul
wrapped up in a motion of course ; as it always is when he is engaged
in making the most ordinary application. If it is only a compute that
he desires, his hands rise with the occasion, his brow contracts, and his
two pupils—the only two he ever had—flash forensic fire from his eyes,
and his whole appearance bespeaks the wild enthusiast. Briefless,
on such an occasion, seems to concentrate the whole dignity of the Bar
in his own persoD, and he has been known to wind up with the follow-
ing brilliant peroration—a la Macaulay—when the compute has been
the subject of his splendid eloquence :—

" No ! I would rather dash from my head the housing of honourable
horsehair which forms a thatch to this poor, ill-furnished abode of my
brains ; I would prefer to tear in pieces this gown, grown rusty in the
service of its master j I wculd burn the bands which dangle from my
stock, and crumple the cravat whose snowy whiteness rivals the driven
snow, or the carted ice.—Yes ; I would submit even to this, before I
would take permission to compute fr ma court insensible to the privi-
leges of the step ; or allow any motion to be considered 'of course'
while there is a British Judge on a British Bench in a British Court
and a British land, to administer to a British subject his share of

disgrace. We are sure Alderman Cjibbs, who was never behindhand
when money was concerned, will come forward, and liberail/ save the
character of Walbrook from being buried in its churchyard.

MR. BRIEFLESS S IMPASSIONED APPEAL FOR A MOTION OF COURSE.

British Justice." Such a position of such a man is worthy of such a
picture as that which we have given, in illustration of the forensic
oratory of our learned friend, Mr. Briefless.

& $3eggatlg $ansi).

The affairs of the Parish of "Walbrook are in a disgraceful state ; no
less than 140 guineas are owing to the organist (a poor woman),
whilst the sextons have a claim upon the parish to the extent of £273.
The Parish should be summoned, and compelled under the new Act to
pay its debts. If it is too poor, then it should be made to go through
the Insolvent Debtors' Court. A whole parish being whitewashed
would be a stain upon every parishioner in it. We look upon
Walbrook as very little better than the Honourable Mr. Wyndham,
who achieved an infamous notoriety three months ago by contracting
debts, which he never intended to pay.

We wonder every house in the place is not ashamed of itself, for we
cannot imagine anything more shabby than being in debt to a sexton !
The parish who would allow itself to be buried upon " tick," is capable
of robbing its charity-children of their bread and butter. No mean-
ness would he too mean—no atrocity too atrocious for it. We suppose
marriages in Walbrook are performed only upon credit, and that the
clerk and beadle, when they ask for their fees at a christening, are
politely told to "chalk it up." Shabby I We should not at all be
surprised to hear that Walbrook had absconded some fine morning to
Boulogne. It would be a sad paragraph to read in the newspapers :—
" Outlawed.—The Parish of Walbrook, at the suit of its Sextons for ^273.''

We hope some benevolent individuals will get up a penny
subscription, and, for the honour of British parishocracy, avert that

THE PHEASANT, THE PARTRIDGE, AND THE GOOSE,

a game-law fable.

A pheasant from his cover flew
A ntighb'ring buckwheat-field into ;
Squire Jenkinson the cover owns,
The field another Squire, call'd Jones.
On Jones's land a partridge bred,
Address'd the pheasant whilst he fed,
And after saying " How d'ye do ? "
Inquired, " I say, whose bird are you ? "
The pheasant " Jenkinson's " replied,
" How so, my friend ? " the partridge cried.
" Why I," returned the pheasant, " mate,
Was reared on Jenkinson's estate,
In his preserve is fix'd my home j
So I am his where'er I roam."
"No," said the partridge, " you are not,
Now that on Jones's land you've got;
And thus at once I will confute you :—
Jones has a lawful right to shoot you."
The pheasant unto this demurr'd.
And so the matter they referr'd :
For referee they sought a goose,
Nigh on a common grazing loose.
The goose, whose cackle we translate,
Thus solved the question in debate ;—
" Three birds together, here we stand,]
Yourselves and J, on Noman's land:
If truth the partridge has averr'd,
Then each of us is Noman's bird.
But I've an owner, there's no doubt,
For he could come and pick me out ;
If Jenkinson or Jones should try,
You could they thus identify ?
If not, 1 hold you both are wrong,
And unto Noman must belong.
Where'er you are, it certain is
Noman can say that you are his.
Free denizens of fields and woods,
Who, takes you steals but Noman's goods,
To Noman's injury alone,
Depriving Noman of his own."

"DOCTORING " A STATUE.

hen Madeira has too much
body, it is frequently sent
across the seas ; and after it
has been two or three jour-
neys round the Cape, it some-
times turns out to be a very
good wine. We think the
same plan of improvement
might be tried with the
Wellington Statue as soon as
it is taken out of the wood
and drawn off the Burton
arch.

Two or three voyages to
India might do it all the
good in the world. It might
come back to us mellowed,
and considerab'y toned down,
and without any of that
sharpness which at present
is so offensive to persons of
good taste.

PECULIAR TURN OP MIND.

Disraeli was saying very loudly in the lobby, " that if Lord G.
Bentinck was Prime Minister, he would do immense things in the
House of Commons ! "

" Yes," said Serjeant Murphy, who was passing at the time, " I
shouldn't wonder if, with his mind, he made such a mess of it that he
turned the place into an Augean Stable."