Punch (12.1847)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

193

PUNCH'S DREAM OF THE HOUSE OF LORDS.

There were lions too many to count—a ho+t

Of creatures I knew not by name ;
And I also dreamt—which puzzled me most—

That the figures were all the same.

I dreamt that huge monsters—a fearful band—

Were staring to such a degree
That the sight was more than I could withstand,

For they turhd all their eyes upon me.
And I dreamt that lima John's unearthly ghost

Stepp'd forth my honnge to claim,
When I woke and I found 'twas my bedstead's post,

But it frightened me all the same.

AN INGENIOUS CONTRIVANCE.

Somebody is at present advertising an article which purports
to combine twenty-four shawls in one ; so that a husband
may make his wile a present of four new shawls per annum
for six years, without ever going beyond his first outlay. This
extraordinary wrapper reminds us of the cap madj of a " single
sheet of paper," which was capable of being twisted into six-
aud-twenty different forms—from a church-window to a curry-
comb. A new shawl for every day in the week—at no
other expense than the trouble of folding—must be indeed a
blessing to mothers, an economy to husbands, and a source of
satisfaction to all parties.

We wish some ingenious tailor would iuvent a wrapper for
gentlemen, to answer the purpose of some ten or a dozen coats
instead of one, to which necessity sometimes restricts us for
a long period. We throw out the following hint to Court, or
some other ingenious member of the fraternity ; and, if he can
make anything of it, we will give him the benefit of the patent
on condition of his rubbing off all old scores, and clothing us
gratuitously for the remainder of our mutual existences. The
following is our design :—

Make a good easy paletot, with double skirts—a pair of
long skirts outside and a pair of short skirts under them.—
1st. Let down the long skirts, and you have a great-coat.
—2nd. Fasten them up, and let the short skirts fall down,
when you will have a dress-coat for evening parties.— 3rd.
Pin the long skirts together, and you will get a cloak.—4th,
Pin up both pairs of skirts, and you will have a comfortable
spencer.—5.h. Throw one of the long skirts over your right
shoulder, and it will make a Spanish cloak.—6th. Take your
arms out of the arm-holes, pull the sleeves inside, and you
get a cape.—7th. Pin up a portion of the long skirts into the
shape ot a Newmarket cutaway, and you will be able to turn
out in a sporting-coat of the first quality.—8th. Turn the
long skirts half up, but leave the lappets of the pockets visible,
and the shooting-jacket thus formed will challenge any compa-
rison.—9ih. Let down the long skirts entirely, pin thtm over
in front, and a dressing-gown is achieved instantly.— 10th, and
lastly, put your legs through the arms of the coat, and there
you are in a first-rate pair of trowsers.

AN OLD STAGER.

The visitors of Drury Lane were surprised the other even-
ing with the following medical certificate :—

" SUDDEN INDISPOSITION.

THERE is no doubt that the House of Lords is a verv beau iful building, and " I certify that the Big Elephant is suffering under a severe cold, which he
that the embellishments are all of a very magnificent and artistical character, ' from the stage-door being carelessly left open all night, and cannot

and that « high art " prevails not only from the top of the wall, but even down 1 p0SSlbly appear this evemng- (Slglied) T,PP°° HARUtY' ^?

to the lowest depth of the skirting-board. The impression upon the eve of the ! The Llttle Elephant, however, having offered in the hand-
visitor is agreeable enough while looking at the house ; but if he goes home somest manner to perform at a short notice the part of his
and falls asleep—which he is sure to do if he has been listening to a debate— : higger confrere, the Big Elephant suddenly recovered, and went
the effect of the frescoes and other adornments upon his dreams, is not so very | on to perform his usual character
delightful. The extraordinary conglomeration of eccentric lions rampant,'
meagre unicorns, and other animals, with the staring eyes and spectral figures
of departed kings, are not exactly the materials to form the beau ideal of a
vision of sleep ; and accordingly, when we went home and threw ourselves down
upon our turnup bedstead for that repose which a mutton-chop with our tea

A New Plaster of Paris.

The Presse is very eloquent about "the alliance between
France and Russia being cemented " by the Emperor's loan of

conversation, sotto voce, on "high art," and then our dream took the form of the for any length of time. We dare say Louis-Pbilipfe likes
following— this new kind of cement amazingly, and does not mind how

BALLAD.

I dreamt that I sat in the House of Lords,
As Monteagle spoke at my side,

And into that sleep which his tone affords
I did imperceptibly glide.

often it is renewed ; but then it must be applied in pretty
large quantities j for if his French Majesty has a weakness, it is
in not sticking at a trifle. Who will wager with us that this
new alliance, with all its boasted cement, is not shattered to
pieces in less than a twelvemonth ?