Punch (12.1847)

246

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE GREAT LINEN-DRAPERY NUISANCE.

First Linen-draper. " What 's the next Article I can have the pleasure of

showing you, Sir."

Victim. " Nothing more, thank you."

Second Linen-draper. "We've some sweet things in Shawls, Sir—quite new."
Hard Linen-draper. " Allow me, Sir, to tempt you with one of these

beautiful handkerchiefs."

Fourth Linen-draper. " These dresses, Sir," &c.

Fifth Linen-draper. "Here are Ladies' Aprons, Sir, most beautifully worked,

quite elecant, very tasty, and fashionable," &c.

[Victim resolves never to enter the shop again.

POWER OF FRENCH INVENTION.

The Siecle informs its readers, that the success of Jennt
Lind is altogether a matter of money. The enthusiasm has
been got up by the critics, who have been paid 20,000
francs for their panegyrics. Our French contemporary, of
course, is well informed, though it is rather too bad that
the secret should have been betrayed in this treacherous
manner. Which of the papers has played false ? Is it a
morning, or a weekly, or a twice-a-weekly, or an evening
journal, who is the base traitor ? We advise all the
theatrical critics to combine together for the purpose of
discovering who amongst them has revealed the awful secret
of the critical fraternity, and to demand back his share of
the 20,000 francs. By the bye, as there are somewhere about
five hundred papers published during the week in London,
a single share of the 20,000 francs, said by the Siecle to be
paid to the numerous body of critics, cannot amount to
much ; but this only proves, of course, what an enormous
amount of praise can be purchased in London for less than a
sovereign. The French really imagine that everything is-
purchasable in England. They believe that a person can
buy the succession to the throne, if he is but rich enough ;
and that one can have a new moon any day by paying for it.
But there is one thing which not all the money in the world
could purchase, and that is, to induce the English to be
angry at the ridiculous nonsense the French writers so-
humorously invent about them. The only way of paying
them off is by laughing at them. Evidently, the old proverb
ought to be altered to " Le Francais, we malin, inventa I'Anglo-
phobie," for the childish way in which they display it on every
little occasion, is much funnier than their " vaudeville."

A TITLE FOR. SIR PETER.

The result of a great man's achievements is always the
acquisition of a name. This often is a really distinctive
appellation. Poblids Scipio, from his victories over the
Carthaginians, was called Africanus. Justin was honoured
with the title of Martyr. We have hai a William termed
the Conqueror, and a Henry entitled the Defender of the
Faith. France boasts of her Louis ee Debonnaire, and
does not boast of her Philippe Egalite, nor, by the bye, will
she probably boast of his sod. There was once a Peter
who was surnamed the Hermit , there was another Peter
denominated the Great ; there is still another Peter, who
has as yet received no name in addition to simple Laurie,
but who has done his very best to gain one. By his heroic
championship of sewers and cess-pools ; by his gallant defence
of the vested interests of sinks ; by his stedfast adherence to
the cause of mire ; by his manful resistance to the scavenger
and the besom, Sir Peter Laurie has fairly earned the
honourable alias of—Stick-in-the-Mud.

Outte as goo!} as JHtmcp.

As there is a great scarcity of gold, we propose that some new scrip be
issued, to be called the Jenny Lind Scrip. This might easily be managed
by allowing the tickets for the Italian Opera House to be received as a

A GOOD BERTH.

All the new appointments have been filled up by Lords. What a
piece of extraordinary luck it is, there is such a thing in creation as a
peerage ! If there were no nobles in the world, England would be
without a government; for no one under a Baronet, it seems, is qualified

legal tender. Their value would of course depend upon the particular j to be a minister. A plain Mr. has no title for office, though ennobled
place to which the holder of the scrip would be entitled admissioD. A by the highest ability , but an Earl, who has nothing to show but his

pit note would be less than one for the stalls, and a coupon for the
boxes would be higher than either. This scrip has already been cir-
culated to a very great extent in the Money Market, and in every
instance has realised large sums. The holder of four Opera bonds for
private boxes, with six coupons to each, cleared £100 last week.

crest, has the best title—that of nobility. Look at the present govern-
ment ; how it is crowded with Viscounts, and Earls, and Right
Honourables ! Every head in the cabinet has a coronet upon it ; but
this is not to be wondered at, for the Whigs have always proved, when-
ever they bad a chance, how strongly they were attached to a good

An issue of gallery debentures also would rectify the evil in the same berth. " Lodge's Peerage " might appropriately be called " The Guide
degree, though of course to a more moderate extent ; for, being at a ! to Government Situations."
very high premium, they would supersede for a time the use of gold.
We advise ministers to be careful with the Exchequer Bonds, which
only frighten people and agitate the market, and recommend them to

irish all over.

purchase largely in the Lumley Funds, which is the great circulating j m m. , , iV . T . u ■ ... . m ^
medium at the present moment, and increase in value every day. If The Times has announced that the Irish circuits have been post-
they do not do this rapidly, they may depend upon it the Emperor i Pone4 for three months on account of the prevalence of fever in Cork.
Nicholas will be before them in the market, and will be sending over - The Judges> rt seems> llke everybody else in Ireland, will make any
some £5,000,000, or some such Russian trifle to buy up as much thia? an excuse for neglecting their business. We shall next have
Jenny Lind Scrip as possible, as being the very best stock in Europe ! Iri.sh constables refusing to apprehend a thief on the plea that it is a
he can invest his money in. By the bve, there is a talk of a fresh i rainy morning._^__

ITfJ* ^-^mgS- We are Confident there is no demand for them, j v~^i^~Snihnr7_c^0.wrl&ce,Stoi[e .Newingtou, and Frederick Mullen e™"u
as long aJ3 tnere are SO many LngllSn Opera-HoUSC debentures in the ! of No. 7, Church Row, Stoke Newingtou, both in the County of Middlesex, Printers, at their Office,
market 1 in Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and published by them*

! at No. S3. Fleet Street, in tUe Parish of St. Bride's, in the C:ty of London.—Satubdat. Ivxr. I2tb.