Punch (12.1847)

254

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Palmer immediately—without at all thinking of the matter—arranged
their curls, and gave a twitch here and there to their gowns.

" I hope they '11 not bring him here," said the gentle Palmer.

" I hope they will," cried Fluke. " Tell me, Candytuft—has he
got black eyes—curly hair—and a skin of nice sailor brown ? "

"Miss Fluke 1" exclaimed Miss Candytuft.

But at this moment Miss Grifein appeared at the top of the walk ;
and in her hand an unfolded letter.

HINTS TO CANVASSEES.

The difficulty of a personal canvass has frequently been alleged as
an excuse for omitting this ceremony, by individuals offering themselves
as candidates for Parliament. We think the compliment of a call on
every elector can just as well be paid by a man's portrait as by himself.

The subjoined sketch exemplifies the idea to which we beg to direct
the attention of would-be Members of Parliament.

PUNCH'S GUIDE TO FASHIONABLE DANCING.

RESUSCITATION OF THE DANCE.

A little while ago the dance was apparently on its last legs, and
anly one form of it continued in full vigour, Lamely, that quick suc-
cession of rapid steps, comprising the interminable dance which some
people are always leading their creditors. To get up a quadrille used
to require as much canvassing and soliciting among the constituents
as an election for a member of Parliament. The hostess at a soiree
intended to be dansante was compelled to ask the suffrages of those
around her with the most persuasive eloquence, in order to return a
sufficient number of members for getting through the usual measures.
Even then the apathy exhibited was of the most freezing character,
and the parties paired off with languid listlessness. This state of
things has been succeeded by another totally different. The movement !
has reached the ball-room, the waltz has taken a favourable turn
a-head, and the legs now stand up for a freedom of action which they i
had lately denied themselves. The constituents of a quadrille, instead
of waiting for entreaties before they would sluggishly exercise the
Terpsichorean franchise, now rush eagerly to the pol—ka, and use the
elective privilege in the choice of partners.

In searching for the causes of the revolution thus effected, we find
the Polka at the bottom, as well as at the top of every one of them. |
'The Polka has broken down the old aristocratic barriers of the formal
Quadrille, and opened the doors of the dance to all, by removing its old
limits. The Quadrille, though favourable to the formation of sets, was
opposed to that broad and universal spirit of equality which the Polka
encourages. It is true that, like other free institutions, the Polka has
sometimes been abused, and carried to an objectionable extent ; but, on
the whole, the freedom it has introduced into the ball-room has not
been destructive of order or propriety.

Though the dance has, of late years, assumed more of character than
it formerly possessed, we do not mean to say that the steps and figures
of the stage can be, with propriety, introduced into the salon Want
of space would interfere to mar the buoyancy and beauty of those
bounds which tell so well on the dramatic boards ; for a CERiTO-like
movement in a ball-room would carry the executant from the door to
the fire-place, or from the wall to the window at a jump, causing a
routing of the occupants of the rout seats to an extent that would be
far from agreeable. The proceedings that are eulogised as fawn-like when

seen upon the stage, would be sadly de trop at a soiree, and the gambols
of the gazelle, though charming when exhibited in an ample space,
would be inconvenient amongst the handing round of refreshments in
glass and china-ware. Even the Highland Fling, which is compara-
tively quiet at the theatre, would never do in private life, for the
Highlander must not be allowed to have his fling amidst a private
circle.

The College Hornpipe is well enough at a noisy assembly of under-
graduates, but not the most experienced master of the Terpsichorean
art could tone it down so as to adapt it to the limits of a soiree
dansante. Who but Baron Nathan would attempt the Truandaise
amid the intricacies of tea-trays, a collision with which might furnish
a tambourine accompaniment far more striking than appropriate ?
Who would attempt the pas de fascination in Grosvenor Place, or give
the gambols of a Gitana t hrough a first floor—by courtesy called a suite
—-in Baker Street ? What would the Cachucha be in Cadogan Place,
or how would the Sylphide's flights up and down chimneys be carried
out in every-day life, to say nothing of the direct violation of the Act
against climbing-boys, among which—as masculine means feminine in
legislative language—climbing-girls are of course included ? Our Guide
to Fashionable Dancing will therefore not teach the young idea how to
shoot up into the air like our friend Shallaballah from his box ; nor
will it give lessons for bounding about upon one leg, as if human
beings were unipeds and not bipeds ; but we shall endeavour to guide
the steps of our readers in the right direction. By placing their feet
in our hands they will be perfectly safe, and will never be found tripping

THE USE OF TEMPLE BAR.

A most unexpected advantage has recently been discovered in
Temple Bar, by its being found adapted to a purpose which the archi-
tect could never have ventured to contemplate. For the last few years
it has been good for little more than to serve as an outpost to the
paviours, by aiding them in blocking up the thoroughfares ; or rather,
it might be regarded as a sort of advanced piquette—appropriately
placed near Picket Street—to keep off the carriages and cabs that
might have otherwise driven down upon the breast-works being con-
tinually thrown up by the gas-work people, or the emissaries from a
hostile water company, which is so frequently in possession of some of
the principal passes in the metropolis.

The important fact has, however, at last been brought to light, that
Temple Bar is serviceable as a kind of fortress to defend the city against
the invasion of those gigantic advertising vans, that put, iu many in-

stances, a complete stop to the progress of industry. Happily, puffing
has reached such an enormous height as to have out-grown the very
gaps through which it would have forced itself, and it has thus
become the victim of its own enormity. We beg to propose to the
civic authorities that the Bar should be regularly manned with a small
reserve of policemen, empowered to act against an invader in the shape
of a monster van, and prevent the possibility of a siege becoming suc-
cessful. While the advertiser is attacking the city in the van, a corps
of the Civic Raw Lobstery could rush round to the rear, and might
easily turn the flanks of the horse, or cause the foe to wheel sharp
round and surrender at discretion.