Punch: Punch (17.1849)

^anners-M)' Cvstoms-of: X ENsIWSIIEJ-in- 184-9- N° 23.

PHOSPECT- OF-A-- FASHYONA&LE- H/\&EW)ASHER hvs- SHOPe ■

Mr. Pips his Diary.

Barege, Double Glace, brocaded in the Flouncings, and reduced to
Twenty-one-and-Six from Forty-five." But she professed that she
needed it not: whereat I was glad; when he did tell her he would do it
at One-and-Four less : and she then saying that it was indeed a
Bargain, which I find is a Woman's Word for anything cheap whether
wanted or no, I let her have it ■ cost £1. 05. 2d. But, to be sure, the
Pattern was pretty, and my Wife being well-dressed do please my Taste,
and also increase my Consequence and Dignity. The Robe bought,
it comes into her Head that she could not do without a new Shawl to
match it, blue and scarlet, cost £2. 2s., but will look mighty fine, and,
I hope, last. Here I thought to walk her at once bodily away; but
seeing a stout middle-aged Gentleman doing the very Thing, and how
mean it looked, did forbear; and in the Meanwhile the Shopman did
beg, as he said, to tempt her with a superior Assortment of Ribbons.
She rummaging over this Frippery, I to gaze about the Shop, and with
Fellow-Feeling did mark an unhappy small Boy, while his Mother was
comparing some three-score different Pieces of Satin, perched on a
Stool, out of Patience. My Wife would have 5s. worth of Bibbons,
and here I hoped would make an End ; but the Shopman did exhibit to
her some Silk Stockings; and I telling her they were unnecessary, she
declared that then she must wear Boots, which she knows I utterly
hate; and concluded with buying half a Dozen Pair, cost 24?. : with
this mv Martyrdom finished; and we away, bowed out of the Shop
with Congees by the smirking Shopwalker, rubbing his Hands^ and
grinning, as obsequious as could be; and so Home ; I mighty serious,
having laid out £5. 10s. 2d ; and the next Time I take out my Wife for
a Walk, it shall be in the Fields and not in Regent Street.

Tuesday, August 7, 1849.—Finding Fault with my Wife, for that she
do not use enough Exercise; whence her continual Headach, and
Faddell, the 'Potticary his Bill of £5. She replying that I would
never take her out, I said I would, whenever she liked; whereupon,
we agreed to go a Walk forthwith, and my Wife did propose Regent
Street. So we thither, pleasing ourselves with observing the Passers-
by and the Carriages, though their Number do now begin to diminish,
and the Streets do daily blaze less and less with fine Ladies and flaming
Liveries. Going by Lindsey and Woolsey's, my Wife's Eye taken
with a Scarf in the Window, and would stop to look at it with a Crowd
of other Women gazing at the Finery, which Ms. Skitt do call
Baits, and a Draper's Shop a Lady-Trap. Presently she recollected
that she wanted a Collar; so we into the Shop, where some sixty or
eighty Ladies sitting before the Counters, examining the Wares, busy
as Blue-Bol/tie Flies at a Sugar-Cask. Behind the Counters the
Shopmen and Assistants, showing off the Goods, and themselves also,
with mighty dainty Airs, every one of them, almost, Narcissus his
Image. But I fear me they owe their pale delicate Looks and languid
Ways in Part to the Want of sufficient Air and Exercise ; which is a
sad Consideration. One of these dapper young Sirs did help my Wife
to her Collar, cost 35. 6d.; when she thought she had better get
another while about it, cost 35. 6d. more. Then, says he, in his soft
condoling Voice, "What is the next Article?" as though taking for
granted that another was wanted—which was too true. For hereupon,
my Wife bethought her of lacking some Lace Cuffs, four Pair:
cost 125. "And now, Mem," (meaning Madam) says the young
Fellow with a Simper, "allow me to show you a Love of a Robe, a