Punch: Punch (17.1849)

96

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

SEA-SIDE LITERATURE FOR YOUNG LADIES ; OR DELIGHTS OF CROCHET.

First Young Lady {reads). "10th Row— 3 long with 3 chain after' Each into third small space, 1 long into same space,.

5 long "with 3 chain after each into middle space, 1 long into same space, 3 long with 3 chain after each into next
space, 1 long in same space, 5 chain, ditto in middle of large space, 5 chain, repeat."

Second and Third Young Ladies {in ecstacies). " Oh ! how sweetly pretty ! !! "

THE POISON SHOP.

Scene.—The Shop of Mr. Upas, Chemist and Druggist. Bottles, his
Assistant, behind the counter.

Enter Widow Woman, with infant in arms, seemingly in great distress.

Widow {much agitated). Threepenn'ortli of Laudanum, please, Sir.
Bottles. Laudanum, Ma'am ; yes, Ma'am—Sixpenn'orth, I think you
said. Ma'am.

Widow {sighing). Threepenn'ortli. Threepence is all I have in the
world !

Bottles. Sorry for it, Ma'am. {Serves her.) [Exit Widow frantically.

Enter ragged Little Girl, and several other persons of squalid, wretched,
and sinister appearance.

Bottles. Now then, little girj, what's for you?
Gin. Mother says, please will you let her have as much Arsenic as
you can for twopence-halfpenny, to kill rats.
Bottles. Eats !—eh ! Pather belong to a burial club ?
Girl. Yes, Sir, please, Sir.

Bottles. So I thought. {Delivers the Arsenic) [Exit Little Girl.
Now, Sir, what can I do for you? {To a Stranger with his face
muffled, and his hat over his eyes)

Stranger. Thank 'ee; I '11 wait-

Bottles {to several Customers). You for Arsenic ?—you ?—you ?—all of
you Arsenic. Six Arsenics. And you ?—oh ! one Corrosive Sublimate.
{Serves them out packets ready made up.) [Exeunt with the poison.

Stranger {having watched them all out). I want some of the strongest
poison you have got.

Bottles. Well, Sir, I think Prussic Acid will suit you better than any.

Stranger. That smells, don't it P

Bottles. Why yes, Sir. Probably Strychnine would answer your
purpose ?
Stranger. Is lhat pretty stiffish ?

Bottles {smiling). Oh! yes, Sir. I should be sorry to take two
grains of it.
Stranger. Let's have half-an-ounce.

Bottles. Half-an-ounce, Sir? {Weighs it out.) What is the next
article, Sir?
Stranger. Nothing.

Bottles. Allow me to tempt you with a little Belladonna; very
killing, Sir, I assure you. Or would you try our Digitalis ? I could
recommend our Colchicum, Sir.

Stranger. No, no !

Bottles. Or anything in the Vitriol way, Sir ?

Stranger {with an oath). No, I tell you. The Strychnine will do the-
job. Hand it over, will you, and make haste. . \\

Bottles. Directly, Sir. {Folds and presents the packet) Thank you, Sir:
{Takes the money and sweeps it into the Till. Exit Stranger.) Ha ! a-
pretty good morning's work;—and if the undertakers don't get a job-
or two out of it—and perhaps Jack Ketch too—I shall be astonished
rayther. [Exit,

Louis Napoleon to Nicholas, Greeting.

President Louis-Napoleon, the incarnation of Prench liberty of
1849, has sent an autograph letter of congratulation to the Emperor
of Russia on the subjugation of Hungary ! When the President is
turned out of his chair, we hope he will nevertheless enjoy a state
office. Punch proposes that the magnanimous nincompoop be appointed
to the Jardin des Plants, . It is plain that somebody must every day
carry garbage to the bears ; and who can better do such office than the
lacquey who licks the boots of Nicholas 9