Punch (18.1850)

PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

ON HORROR'S HEAD HORRORS.

During the morning of the first
trial of the new House of Commons,
all the members were talking at once ;
and there was such a noxious atmo-
sphere of bad jokes floating over us
and around us, that our senses were
scarcely our own, and they were cer-
tainly nobody else's, for nonsense
seemed to prevail in all directions.
One of the jokes, perhaps from its
being heavier than the rest, fell to
the level of our ears, and we give it as
a specimen of the rubbish that was in
general circulation. Somebody asked
if Ihe selection of a summer's day for
the experiment was for the purpose of
debate. "No," was the reply; "choice
has been made of a summer's day with
a view, not to the debate, but to the
Summary." Happily this atrocity
escaped notice in the general din ; and
the delinquent made his escape by
leaping over all the forms of the House
into an adjoining lobby.

Boy. " Come in, Sir ! You've no call to be aeraid ! I've got him quite tight."

Dreadful Case.

A man—we do not give his name
out of respect to his family—a man is
at this moment suffered to be at large
who perpetrated the following atrocity.
The conversation ran upon " the
Affreedee contumacy on the Indian
border," when tlie shameless offender
observed, that the enemy must be
always beaten, seeing that they were
never anything but "half-ready!"
The man — we repeat —is still at
large.

BttNEMT OP RESPECTABILITY.

There is one rule at least which is supposed to be without exception
—that recorded in the poetical reflection of the youthful pickpocket—

" Him as prigs wot isn't his'n

Ven a's cotch '11 go to pris'n."

', But even the committal of a detected thief is no matter of certainty at
all police offices. At the Marylebone tribunal, for instance, it seems
that a man may steal bricks, and be let off with a penalty,—on a certain
condition. The Daily News reports that at the Temple of Themis in
question, one—

" Mb. "William Harnshall, a person of considerable property, residing in Fitzroy-
place, Kentish-town, was charged with having stolen two bricks, the property of the
Commissioners of Sewers."

A policeman, Bansby, 61 S, caught this gentleman, whom he sus-
pected of having stolen bricks before, in the fact, red (brick) handed.
The constable deposed that—

" He (witness) who had only just marked some of the bricks, had not been long in his
hiding-place when he observed the prisoner come up to the wall, and with a chisel
remove two bricks, which he put into his silk pocket-handkerchief, and then walked
away in the direction of his own house, situate about 200 yards from the spot."

Mr. William Harnshall was taken to ihe staiion-house, and
locked up on a charge of felony. That he took the bricks out of playful
mischief—a species of frolic, libellously to a respectable individual oi
the feathered creation termed a lark—was not pretended: and in
answer to aDy such excuse that might have been pleaded—

" Witness further stated that he found other bricks laid down so as to form a path at
the rear of the prisoner's dwelling, some of them had the initials before referred to upon
them, and in all probability had been removed from the wall from which the two (pro-
duced) had been stolen. Suspicion of the robbery was entertained against some poor
persons, but there was now every reason to believe that they were entirely innocent;
the wall was much damaged."

Who cannot imagine that he sees the prison yard in which the poor
! persons suspected of the robbery would now be in case it had been they
who were detected in committing it ? Yet poverty is the only palliation
of theft in the opinion of most people. But by way of reason why

Mr. William Harnshall should not be committed to take his trial
for felony like any ordinary person charged with that offence,—

"Mb. Woolf said that his client felt acutely the indiscretion of which he had been
guilty, and was willing to make any reparation in his power for the wrong he had done ;
he would put the wall into proper order, and in addition thereto would be happy to con-
tribute a sum of money to the poor-box; he was a man of great respectability, and his
family were much distressed at the situation in which he was placed."

_ So that great respectability, instead of gre-tt poverty, is the extenua-
tion of dishonesty, according to Mr. Woolp. By respectability, of
course, Mr. Woolf means solvency, or the being well off, because
brickstealing is, in itself, obviously a refutation of auy pretence to
that attribute in the sense of moral character. Mr. Woolf's advocacy
appears to have been less judicious than successful. The very fortunate
conclusion of the affair for Mr. William Harnshall was that—

" Mr. Broughton having ascertained that the Commissioners were willing to leave
the case entirely in his hands, and that they had no desire to prosecute, remarked that
the respectability of the prisoner was an aggravation of the offence, but under all the
circumstances he should deal with the case as one of misdemeanour, and not as a felony;
and for the unlawful possession of the bricks, he inflicted a penalty of 50s., or one
month's imprisonment in the House of Correction. The fine was immediately paid."

Mr. Broughton is here judge and jury. As jury he finds the prisoner
guilty ot misdemeanour, consisting in an act of theft aggravated by
respectability. As judge he inflicts a fine of 50*. The ability to pay fifty
shillings and not feel it, may be taken as a practical definition of
" respectability." Of course, " the fine was immediately paid," and the
offender escaped comparatively unpunished by reason of that which was
the aggravation of his offence. Mr. William Harnshall may or may
not steal more bricks; but he will not be likely to find such another
brick as Me. Broughton.

derby donkeys.

We observed a large number of asses in returning from the Derby
last week. They went principally with the vans—not between the
shafts, however, but inside, and being viciously inclined, and too stupid
to bandy verbal jokes, they amused themselves by throwing flour over
gentlemen's clothes. We regret not having had an opportunity to dust
their jackets in return.