Punch: Punch (19.1850)

48

PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

A SIGN-Y QUA NON.

The proposition of the Eren.cn
Government that every article in
every newspaper should be signed
with the writer's name, would, if it
were applied to this country, cause
some extraordinary revelations re-
lating to the Mysteries of the Press.
It would have an odd and rather
startling effect to find a beauti-
fully eulogistic criticism on Jones's
last new novel signed " John
Jones;" and it would be rather
amusing, at the termination of a
long article in praise of Mb.
Gaggeb's acting, to arrive at the
words Jacob Gaggeb, appended to
the end of it. The world would be
a little astonished now and then by
the disclosure of the magnates of the
diurnal press; and would marvel to
know that the great We's are some-
times very Wee people after all.

The "Ridiculus Mus" of the

ELEGANT AND RATIONAL DINNER COSTUME EOR THIS CLOSE WEATHER. I q^™' -monsieixr fimile

it is veby cubious.

" It's very curious," says a
young lady whom we know, " that
the tortoise, from whom we get ah
our tortoise-shed combs, has no
hair!"__

A simple question of colour!

Whetheb, instead of calling
the new singer "The Black Ma-
libban," it would not have been
better to have called her "The
Black Diamond ? "

SUNDAY MALLS EOR MINISTERS.

Aha ! You see now why Lobd John Russell and his colleagues
have resisted so gently the Sabbatarian invasion of the liberty of the
subject. St. _ Martin-le-Grand has let the cat out of the bag in the
following notice •—

" By Command of the Postmaster-General.—To all postmasters, sub-postmasters,
and letter receivers.—General Post-Office, July, 1850.—With reference to instruction
No. 21, 1850, relative to the discontinuance of the collection and delivery of the letters
on a Sunday, it must be clearly understood that the regulations therein laid down do
not apply to the letters addressed to Cabinet Ministers, or to the officers of Government
mentioned in Section 18, Part 16, of the Book of General Instructions to Postmasters.
These letters must still be forwarded on Sunday by the ordinary despatch."

It is not surprising that Ministers should put up contentedly with a
public inconvenience which does not affect themselves. As one man
may steal a horse whilst another may not look over a hedge, so may the
Premier be allowed to have a letter of this sort forwarded to him on
Sunday:—

"Dear Johnny, " Woburn, July 21.

" Dejeuner a la fourchette here early. If you have nothing
better to do, come. " Bedeobd."

Whereas, such an epistle as the following may be kept lying a whole
day in the Post-Office.

" Deae Eathee, " Manchester, Sunday Morning!'

" A sad change has come over poor Mother suddenly. Return
directly, if you wish to see her alive.

" Your affectionate Son,

"W. Weet."

Sunday is a dies non to the public at large, but the Ministerial non of
the day is non-observance. Such is Sabbatomaniacal legislation.

a thought fob mb. hobsman.

Chemistry teaches that every particle of matter which disappears in
combustion or evaporation may be obtained in a liquid or gaseous form.
How interesting it would be, if we could, by any means, collect and
exhibit the spiritual products of the expenditure of episcopal incomes !

THE PARLIAMENTARY JOE MILLER.

Membebs of Parliament are becoming such professed jokers, that
we really tremble for our hvelihood. It is too bad of Hon. M.P.'s to
interfere with our bread and cheese, as we do not attempt to interfere
with theirs. We can conscientiously assert, we never resorted to
bribery or corruption; we can proudly confess that we never, to the
best of our recollection, barked like a dog, nor crowed like a cock, nor
whistled like a steam-engine. It must not be supposed that we are
jealous of "Honourable Members." Their jokes are so bad, that,
without any affectation, or pulling up of our shirt-collars, we could
not make them, if we were to try ever so much. Their facetiousness
has all the compilation and weight of a Blue-book about it—so much
so, that if we were reduced to the verge of jocular destitution, we
could not stoop to pick up anything so cumbrous and heavy. It
would be like putting a policeman's boot on the legs of a butterfly.
It is not jealousy, but mere prudence, that makes us speak out. It is
the infection of bad joking that we dread; for whereas one bad orange
will spoil an entire cargo, so a number of bad jokes being thrown
into the market, will spoil the pure commodity, and lessen the demand
for it.

The debates are quite heavy enough, without the addition of any
extra heaviness, and it is really growing a pain from which no chloro-
form can relieve us, to wade through the facetice of the large corps of
Parliamentary farceurs. It is like reading one of the early editions of Joe
Miller. The jokes of the Clown in the Ring are positively new compared
to those which are followed in the reports by "Laughter," "Great
Laughter," " More Laughter." We imagine that, as Hon. Members are
indebted to Me. Babby for then- House, so they argue that they should
be equally indebted to his namesake, Me. Babby, of Astle/s Amphi-
theatre, for their speeches. If this taste for punning is not checked in
its early stage of punyhood, St. Stephens will become very little better
than a Circus, and the sooner Widdicomb is installed as Whipper-in
the better it will be for the dignity and general appearance of the
House. We have put ourselves to the trouble of collecting a choice
number of these legislative pleasantries, and in a week or so we hope,
if our courage holds good, to astonish the poor reader with a specimen
or two- •selecting, in charity, those which shall be the least aged—of
our Parliamentary Joe Miller.