Punch: Punch (19.1850)

74

PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

GRAND SCRAMBLE OF DIAMONDS PREVIOUS TO THE DEPARTURE OF THE NEPAULESE AMBASSADOR.

" Lady Bougelion presents her compliments to Mr. Punch.

" Lady R. having heard that it is the intention of the dear Nepaulese
Ambassador at the last party of the season (ere he leaves for his native
mountains, the home of the bulbul and the gazelle) to make a delicious
demonstration, begs that Mr. Punch, as knowing all things, will favour
Lady R. with the earliest notice of the coming event.

"The Nepaulese Ambassador having, it is said, determined on his
last night, to strip his cap of state of all the jewels that have
delighted the beau-monde, in order to throw the precious gems as a
scramble to the ladies present, by way of a souvenir—

"Mr. Punch will pardon Lady R. for expressing a very natural
anxiety to be present on so interesting and unique an occasion."

MASTER JOHNNY'S HOLIDAY LETTER.

"Downing Street Classical and Commercial Academy, August ld>th, 1851.

" My Dear Guardian, Mr. Punch,

" Now the holidays are approaching, I take up my pen to write
you an account of the way in which 1 have been pursuing my studies,
and have been gouugon and conducting myself generally this half year.

" I am very sorry indeed to be compelled to inform you that I have
made very little improvement, and I am afraid that you and all my
friends will be extremely dissatisfied with my progress.

" In my Algebra I have remained quite stationary, owing to my want
of zeal and diligence, which has prevented me from using the application
requisite to enable me to understand the Representation of Numbers.
Accordingly, I have made no attempt, I am ashamed to say, to solve
that problem, which you are so anxious to have settled, of the enlarge-
ment of the Suffrage.

" With regard to my Classics, all I have to mention is, that in common
with the rest, of the Class, I have had much difficulty with my Greek ;
but we flatter ourselves that we got out of that nicely.

" My Arithmetic has given me some trouble, and would have given
me more if I had attended to it much, instead of neglecting it greatly.
With the kind assistance of my schoolfellow Wood, however, I have
got over one little sum in subtraction, having taken the duty on bricks
from the amount of taxation. I had also the Window-Tax, and the
taxes on Paper and News, set me to subtract; but I couldn't do
either of these sums; I fear you will say, because I did not try. On
the other hand, I have done a very heavy sum in compound addition,
which came to £12,000. This was not a regular task; but I cannot
say_ that I did it of my own accord; and, to confess the truth, it was
an imposition.

" 1 have been very frequently punished—although not so often as I
know I deserved. I have had several floggings, both in this House ana
the other; and I hope the correction I have received, will do me good,
and cause me to be a better boy, and to mind what is said to me.

" I have not behaved at all well to the new boy that you recommended
some time ago, Nathan. I have neglected to introduce him to the
other boys; and when he tried to mix with them of himself, I stopped
him, and have put him off for another half year.

" With a deep sense of my remissness, I acknowledge that when a
small number of meddlesome Puritanical boys shut up the Post Office
on Sunday, I stood by, and did not exert myself to prevent them, as I
might have done.

"To make amends for my deficiencies in other respects, I have
endeavoured to distinguish myself in Elocution; but as I am aware
that you think nothing of mere talking, I shah say no more about that.

"Begging you to accept my duty and respect, and to present the
same to my indulgent friend and patron, Mb,. Bull, and hoping next
half year to turn over a new leaf, and behave in a way more deserving
your approbation, believe me, my dear guardian,

" Your dutiful Ward, John Russell."

"P.S. My holiday task is a question in Cyphering, 'To adjust the
Income Tax according to the Rule of Proportion.' It is very hard,
and will keep me in and make my headache; and I hope you will
intercede, and get me excused from doing it."

shameful robbery committed on mr. washington irving.

The infringement of a copyright was always characterised as a
question of piracy and robbery, but now it is called " a mere matter o'
BoHN-ing."