Punch: Punch (19.1850)

180

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

coach and soon found myself here, with Doctor Strait, at Clapton.
After a time, I ceased to be violent; when—so wise, so humane, so
beneficent is the system perfected by the noble Doctor Conolly—I
was permitted, for amusement, to have the use of scissors and any
amount of foolscap paper. Thus set up, I did nothing for months, but
cut out ground plans of Glen Battersea; with thousands of every
variety of rabbit; together with a beautiful moon, a nicely vandyked
sun, and stars to match—all, all in paper. And then, I cut myself out
a coronet of the same material, (and once docked my trowsers to the
knee, and opened the inner seams to flap as a sort of kilt)—and then,
with an imaginary key in my hand, would walk round and round my
chamber, continually locking up the empty air, and believing that
•so locking, I locked up Glen Battersea and all my rabbits.

My return to reason was gradual; but—they tell me—it is complete.
A part of the discipline was curious, but very effectual. When my
lunacy was at the worst, I was taken to the side of a hill, and—
wearing the proper waistcoat—was laid upon the grass and left out all
night: my head shaved anew, and nobody with me but a solitary
keeper, charged at certain periods, to wet my lips with the thinnest
oatmeal porridge, and now and then permitting me to take a hearty
draught of decoction of thistles. Your Grace can hardly believe in the

efficacy of this treatment. Should any friend of yours in your parts be
afflicted with anything like my late delusion, do try upon him the hill-
side, the porridge, and the brewage of thistles. I say emphatically,
" any friend of yours," for now I have great pleasure in acknowledging
in your Grace's looks, speech, and demeanour, the sanest and most
tolerant Duke of all the realm of dukedom. However, as the mad
young woman says in Hamlet—" We know what we are, but we
know not what we may be." Therefore, in case of any relapse, remem-
ber—the hill-side and the thistles.

I ha/e the honour to remain,

Your Grace's lucid Servant, An Ex-Lunatic.

P.S. I do not give my name, because as I am about to stand for
Parliament, the electors might have a prejudice against a late
madman.

P.S. No. 2. What is the meaning of your motto, Furth, and fill the
fetters? Had it, think you, any prophetic reference to the mental
conditions of any future Atholl? The key of the crest is, of course,
not to be mistaken—that is the key to lock up against all trespassers
the air " encasing " Glen Tilt. Ex-L.

A SCOTCH DOG IN THE MANGER.

CAUTION.

As there is a person very generally going about, assuming
the name of one George Hudson, who pretends to be a perfectly
spotless character, and a poor injured being, who has received nothing
but abuse _ and ill-will from all the companies he has benefitted,
and ingratitude from the innumerable railway shareholders whom he
has enriched with moneys taken out of his own pocket: This is to give
Notice, that I am not that Mr. George Hudson, and that there is
nothing in common between him and me; and I do hereby trust, hope,
and request, not merely as a favour, but as an act of common justice,

vr+ ^10S6 W^10 k"ow me will readily grant, that my friends, the
nobility and the public in general, will take care not to confound me

+ SU(T fn arrant impostor as the aforesaid George Hudson, but
mat, out of respect to me and my reputation, they will treat his fabri-
cations with the contempt they deserve.

(Signed) George Hudson,

{Ex-Railway King).

MR. PUNCH'S REGISTERED DESIGNS.

The Copyright Amendment Act, passed last Session, allows designs
to be provisionally registered for a year, which will secure the benefit
of the design to the proprietor. Mr. Punch has registered a design to
procure an equitable adjustment of the income-tax, and a repeal of the
window-tax, a design to confer the elective franchise on every honest
man who is intelligent enough to exercise it, and several other designs
of great value and importance. Mr. Punch, however, has no idea of
securing the benefit of one of these magnificent designs solely for
himself, but intends, with his accustomed liberality, that the public shall
enjoy all the advantages that can be derived from them.

latest law against the press.

The children of all editors and writers for the French Press, must
henceforth be signed with the names of the authors of their existence.

—Exirait du Moniteur.