Punch: Punch (21.1851)

168 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE MEETING OF THE BLOOMERS.

{By our own Reporter.')

rom a polite invitation
which we received, we
proceeded, a few even-
ings ago, to a meeting
of the Committee of Lon-
don Bloomers, at Miss
Kelly's Theatre in Dean
Street. On entering, we
found the house full, and
the stage empty, though
a dozea rush-bottomed
chairs gave promise that
the stage was about to
be graced by a " goodly
company." A decanter
full of water, and. six
tumblers, stood on a
table in the centre; but
the tumblers could not
favour the audience with
a little spontaneous
tumbling, and the impa-
tience became almost as
great as if the promised
performance had been a Christmas pantomine.

At length a young gentleman with moustachios, for which he was in-
debted either to nature or burnt cork—and we leave the parties to
settle their claims in the court of the young gentleman's own conscience
—rushed on to the stage, and striking his hand upon his heart,
indicated energetically lhat that was the place upon which to touch a
British audience. The appeal was met by silence; for when did an
apologist punch his white waistcoat in vain, or plant his fist on his own
ribs, without giving a dig, at the same time, to a body of impatient
Englishmen ? He appealed for a little delay, which was granted, and
in a few minutes, the Bloomers, in a body of twelve, running—like a set
of jugs—in sizes, made their appearance amid that laughter and cheer-
ing, which are the signs by which John Bull invariably indicates his
sense of the ludicrous.

The Bloomers had been announced as a Committee, and we were sur-
prised to find such an early aptitude for business in young ladies
between the ages of seven and eleven ; for there were at least three or
four of the Committee who were evidently in the early milk-and-water-
hood of extreme juvenility. A middle-aged matronly Bloomer, with a
good-humoured twinkle in her eye, as if she could see and relish the
absurdity of the whole business, occupied a chair in the centre, while
under her wings clustered the younger Bloomers ; some trying to look
very demure ; others on the point of going off into one of those bursts
of nature in which a propensity to laugh is incontrollable. The very
young Bloomers looked rather frightened until the sell-possession of an
American lady, who seemed to be the only genuine Bloomer of the
party, appeared to re-assure the whole of them. Pouring out a glass of
water, she proposed " Success to the Cause," amid cheering as loud
and unanimous as if the toast had been the health of the Queen, long
life to Punch, or any other favourite sentiment of the British people.
Anxious to give Bloomerism fair play, we would have scrutinised the

laughter, which reached the highest point of excitement when a veteran
Bloomer, in black, with worsted stockings, high-lows, and a black beaver
bonnet, something between a Mary Stuart, a wide-awake, and a cottage,
skipped forward with a short quick step, and a smiling but peculiarly
comic countenance. The lecturer had just been insisting that it was
from no idle vanity the dress was adopted, when her position received
the accidental illustration we have alluded to. The veteran Bloomer
was accommodated with a chair in the centre of the stage, and acknow-
ledged, with a good-humoured cock of her eye, the cheerful salutations
of the audience.

The lecturer concluded by thanking those present for their attention;
but she innocently expressed surprise that some of her hearers should
have been rude enough to laugh—a proof that she knew little of John
Bull, who would receive Socrates himself with a roaf, if he were to
come forward to lecture on the subject she had chosen. A British
public will listen to reason and hear information; but_ it must have its
laugh with, or at—it does not matter which—something, or somebody.
The performance terminated with " God save the Queen," by a sort of
Demi-Semi-Bloomer, who had only bloomed slightly about the ankles,
but in no other respect gave indications of even a budding propensity.
The Committee of Bloomers were as inharmonious in their chorus-sing-
ing as in their dress, for nearly every one adopted a different line of the
national anthem, as each pursued a different line in respect to the
Bloomer costume. Unanimity was not obtained even at the second
verse, notwithstanding a preliminary cry from the audience of—" Now
then—all together this time!"—a hint that was quite lost on the
Bloomers, who had each a different note, as each had a costume of
a different cut and material. When they are agreed among themselves
what the Bloomer costume really is, we shall be able to give sufficient
reasons for not adopting it.

THE BALLAD OF SWEET DIZZY AND THE FAIR
MAID PROTECTION.

{From our private copy of Percy's " Ueliquesy)

Two lovers sate, on a summer's day,

In the shade of an ancient thorn,
And they saw the pleasant breezes play

Through the un-protected corn.

" I see no harm by you, fair maid,

And you see none by me:
Before long, a Duty shall be paid

For your thumping dow-e-ry!"

Protection sate at her bower-window,

Watching her yellow crops;
She saw sweet Dizzy with Lady Free Trade,

Pass by from the nearest copse.

She rose up quick from the bower-window;

She threw Bulwer's pamphlet by:
She passed, with a groan, to the darkened room

Where the queer statistics lie.

And all in the lonely midnight time,

Past the lonely peeler's tread,
Up came the Spirit of that fair maid,
dress; but there were so many varieties, that we found ourselves even I And stood at Dizzy's bed:

more perplexed than the looker-on at the peep-show representation of . , , , ^ ,

the exploits of Napoleon and the Duke of Wellington. We would Alld are you awake, sweet Dizzy ?_ she said;

have inquired on the spot, "Which is the Bloomer costume?" but a
dread of the reply—" Whichever you please, my little dear," put a curb
on our tongue, if not upon our curiosity.

Bloomerism, as represented by the Committee, consisted of nothing
but rather short petticoats, with the usual school-girl trousers fastened
at the ankle, and the old original Adelaide boots, with which the eye of
the commonest observer must be familiar. There was an attempt at more
orthodox Bloomerism on the part of one of the Committee, aged about
fourteen, who wore a hat, in which she was curbed up with terrible
tightness under the chin, and a brown jacket slightly slashed, after the
fashion of a peasant descending the mountainous platforms of our
operatic scenery.

The American lady proceeded wii h her lecture in favour of Bloomerism,
the gist of which seemed to be, that short petticoats are a high moral
obligation, and that it is impossible for woman to be free, unless she is

Eerfectly easy. She contended for the necessity of female emancipation,
ut as we have always considered our own sex to be the slaves, we, of
course, were unable to see the force of the reasoning of the fair
lecturer. She promised a tremendous accession of physical energy to
the ladies if they once get into trousers ; but this looks so like a knock-
down argument, that we are not very willing to admit the force of it.

In the course of the lecture, there was a shuffling at the wing, and a
fresh accession of Bloomers made their appearance, amid cheers and

Or, sweet Dizzy, are you asleep ?
Heaven send you grace of your gay Free Trade,
And me of the Standard's sheet."

Protection, she died on one day,

Sweet Dizzy on the morrow;
Protection, she died of true, true love;

Sweet Dizzy died of sorrow.

They buried them both in the queer old street

Where the politicians talk;
And from her grave there grew some wheat,

From his, a cotton-stalk.

They grew and grew, and gain'd the top

Of Barry's new Houses' spire;
And there they tied in a true-love knot,

Which made the country admire.

Health op Europe.—The Emperor of Austria, it is said, is so
extremely weak, that it is impossible for him, just at present, to get up
alone (a loan.)