Punch (41.1861)

24

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 20, 1861,

deal of good.” “ If it were not Sunday,” said the Home Secretary,
“ I should oppose new penal legislation on such a matter.” After some
more anti-Sabbatarian debate, Sir Francis in a huff, and with a good
scold at Ministers for alleged inconsistency, withdrew his Bill. The
House then proceeded to the regular religious duties of the day. Mr.
Hubbard urged the necessity of a rational settlement of the Church
Bate question, and withdrew his own Bill as one means to that desirable
end. Sir John Trelawney was a little high, but civil, and called on
the Conservatives to make up their minds on the subject against next
Session. That eminent Nonconformist, Mr. Tom Buncombe, was
warm in his protests against a rate that troubled his conscience, and
Sir John Pakington’s trumpet sounded answer to Sir John Tre-
lawney, and the former Baronet informed the latter that the anti-
church rate folk had been smashed ever since they had declared that
they desired to bring down not only rate but church, and that this
would continue to be their fate, unless they respected the love of the
people for the church of their fathers. Later in the van, Mr. Cross’s
Bill was also withdrawn, and now the Churchmen and Dissenters had
better take off their coats, and think as hard as they can how to settle
a question which involves very little money and very much irritation.

Thursday. Normanby duly snubbed, as usual—something about
Whitby, which place it seems the inhabitants wish to convert into a
fashionable watering-place. Mr. Punch has lately had the privilege of
reading a good deal of the written minstrelsy of that neighbourhood
and ol the nautical interest of the coast, and as it nearly all consists of
desperate abuse, in patois, he suggests that the Whitby Warbler will
require re-editing before civilisation can make much progress. The
collier-bards are very outspoken, but “there is a form in these things.
Madam, there is a form.” As for that old fribble, Normanby, he
would faint into the nearest coal-skuttle before the first verse of one of
these ditties had been finished in his hearing. Lord Bedesdale
expressed his wish to have Leicester Square cleared of the Great Globe
and the dead cats, and also that the foreigners should be told to behave
themselves more seemingly, and Lord Granville promised that the
demand should be attended to.

“ Roundell Palmer took his seat,

So his triumph is complete,

For he told each Zetland thrall
He was not a Whig at all;

But, on Pam’s express petition,

He had joined the Coalition.”

Emulous of the Lords, the Commons got upon Education, discussed

the subject at great length, voted £643,794 for schools, and did some-
thing for salmon.

Friday. Lobd Stratford is very anxious that we should begin to
advise the new Sultan ; but the Government think that, like the man
in Measure for Measure, he should be permitted to continue in his evil
courses until we know what they are. A Bill for enabling landlords to
borrow money to improve labourers’ cottages did not please their Lord-
ships, and it was rejected by 16 to 13. A similar fate attended the
Book Unions Bill, which proposed to permit the lottery principle
recognised in Art Unions to be acted upon by book associations. But
Lord Grey was so dreadfully afraid that this permission would encou-
rage gambling, that he opposed the measure, as did Lord Granville.
We cannot understand why people should be allowed to subscribe to a
lottery that can give them only a high-class picture or beautiful
statuette, and yet not be permitted to indulge the nobler ambition of
obtaining a volume of Punch. But the Lords know best, of course.

Mr. Slaney wishes that the public should be allowed to walk on the
terrace in the river front of Somerset House ; but Mr. Cowper,
though very anxious to make walks (and rides), is afraid that the young
ladies will disturb the clerks, and make them put up ha’porths of
audits and other sweetmeats instead of penn’orths. Lord John
Russell said that we had reason to complain of the Belgians for not
carrying out the new Treaty, and he complained accordingly. Some
claims, arising out of a little difficulty we had with Denmark in 1807,
were brought up by Mr. Macaulay, whose name excuses his plunging
into history for a grievance; but really the line must be drawn somewhere,
or Mr. Punch will be justified in bringing forward a claim for compen-
sation for a serious wrong that was done to one of his ancestors at the
time of the passing the Heptarchy-Amalgamation Act. Atherton,
the new A.-G., had the opportunity of making his first speech in that
capacity, and of overthrowing Macaulay.

Then came the Third Reading of the Bill for enabling votes to be
sent, when the Universities elect. Out came Peelides, with strong
opposition to it. Now, it would be unkind to say that Peelides, who
is about to leave Oxford for a northern constituency, is angry with the
University for not painting the Radcliffe and the steeple of St. Maryjs
black, in honour of his departure; but it would have been prettier in
him to say something elegant and touching in favour of constituencies
like his own. However, he did no harm, for the House had intended
to pass the Bill, and this intention was confirmed by Lord Palmer-
ston also speaking against it. The Government opposed the mea-
sure, and the House of course carried the Third Reading by 165 to 80—
majority against Ministers, 85 : a pleasant finish-up of the week’s work.

THE RIGHT TAP AND THE WRONG.

COWPEB/S CANON OE TASTE.

rom a Foreign Corre-
spondent we learn that,
in the environs of Bingen
on the Rhine, the wine
of 1860, which is of very
bad quality, is retailed
under the name of Dal-
wiGrK, the unpopular mi-
nister of Hesse, whilst
that of the previous
year’s vintage, which is
excellent, is sold bearing
the denomination of Ga-
ribaldi. This might give
our brewers a hint; those
of them who still continue
to brew good beer. Fine
sound old Ale (not bitter)
might find popular favour
under the name of Pal-
merston, whilst that of
Derby might be applied
to Swipes, although the
noble leader of Her Ma-
jesty’s Opposition in the
Lords does not perhaps
think small beer of him-
self. Swipes, however,
is not the smallest beer.
There is a sort of some-
thing like beer inferior
to Swipes. This, the
lowest degree of malt liquor, is, in some parts of Hampshire, termed “ Suns ; ” that
is to say, in unmodified English, “ Seems,” the fluid so called being scarcely more
than the semblance of beer. H we agree to distinguish Swdpes with the lordly
title of Derby, we may perhaps venture, in a pob'tical sense only, of course, to
apply the commoner appellation of Dizzy to Sims.

Who could not guess what member of the House ol
Commons it was that made, in the discussion on the plan
of the Foreign Office, the speech wdierefrom the following
assertion is extracted ?—

“He undertook to say that for one person who took delight in a j
Gothic building, there were twenty who derived greater pleasure from \
an Italian building; aud he referred to the example of Paris to show
the estimation in which the Italian style was held in the present ]
day. ”

Of course everybody, if asked which of our legislators j
it was who exposed his ideas of architectural taste in the i
above declaration, would name Mr. Cowper. In a matter
of Art, according to our Chief Commissioner of Works and j
Public Buildings, the criterion of excellence is the opinion
of the multitude. An Italian building is finer than a
Gothic, because, for one who takes delight in the latter, ;
there are twenty who derive greater pleasure from the j
former. By parity of reasoning, the minstrelsy of Christy’s j
minstrels might be preferred to Tennyson’s poems, married
to the music of Beethoven. Mr. Cowper’s argument is
that of a man naturally devoid of any sense of beauty, and j
who is therefore capable of spoiling that of Kensington
Gardens by defacing them with a hippodrome. For one j
person who delights in a landscape, there are very likely
twenty who had rather look at a horse, particularly with a
pretty horsebreaker on the back of it.

The same majority of twenty to one would, no doubt,
like to see a gratuitous circus established in Kensing- i
ton Gardens, or the Garden of Eden^ itself. That would
be what M. Walewski calls a “miracle of sedileship”
worthy of our British AUdile; who is hereby requested to
note for his future guidance,_ that in architecture and all
other matters of taste, as in other matters more in a
Minister’s way, the majority whose decision is to be
accepted as law, is a majority supposed to. be qualified to
vote.