Punch (61.1871)

August 5, 1871.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

51

THE FIGHT FOR EPPING FOREST.

ttend to Mr. Deputy
Stapleton, one of a de-
putation from the Com-
mon Council present at a
meeting lately held at the
Coach and Horses Hotel,
Stratford, to discuss the
recent encroachments
which have been allowed
by Government to be
committed on Epping
Forest. The deputation
had been during the day
engaged in visiting the
scene of these conveyances
(the wise call them), and
Deputy Stapleton said:—

" The Corporation had that
day visited some of the most
beautiful spots in England,
which formerly belonged to
the people, and all they could
do was to look over the palings
without the right of traversing
the green sward. There were
only about 3000 acres left to
the inhabitants of the metro-
polis, and if the Government
continued indifferent to the
subject, there soon would not be 300 acres remaining."

But do the Government continue indifferent to the conveyance of
Epping Forest ? Is not active Mr. Ayrton zealously urging on a
Bill for an Epping Forest Commission, which is to inquire about it
during the space of two years, and at the end of that time publish a
Report respecting it ? If anybody should think that, by the time
this Report is published, the conveyance will have been completed,
let him not, however, say, that while the grass grows the steed will
starve. It may, nevertheless, be, that before any suggestion is made
for shutting the stable door the steed will be stolen. That is far
from impossible. But although the steed may very likely be stolen,
the grass will not grow in the meanwhile. Certainly not. At
present, to be sure, Mr. Deputy Stapleton and his anti-conveyance-
of'-Epping-Forest-colleagues can, by looking over the palings, look
over the greensward which inchoate conveyance prevents them from
traversing. But, long before Mr. Ayrton's Committee can publish
its Blue Book, the conveyancer and his merry men will have abo-
lished the greensward, and covered the site of it, perhaps, with
bricks and mortar; unless they are happily withheld from doing so
by legal measures generously taken by the City of London. In that
case, doubtless, the Government will be very much obliged to the
City, the spirited City, the gallant City, the chivalrous City. Mr.
Gladstone will probably do something to mark his sense of the
City's public spirit. The least he can do will be to knight Lord
Mayor Daktn, who will have won his spurs more worthily than any
Lord Mayor has since "Walworth. Perhaps our earnest and appre-
ciative Premier will make Mr. Daktn a Baronet.

BENS-BIG AND LITTLE.

(Res pectfully dedicated to (he Members for West Norfolk and
Whitehaven.)

Two Bells in Barry's clock-tower hang,
Two Bens in Barry's House make martyrs :

Big Ben, who strikes the hours, bing-bang !
And Little Ben, who strikes the quarters.

Each Bell, for constancy of chime,
Claims its respective Ben as brother :

Their diff'rence, one pair wastes the time
Whose waste's recorded by the other.

Another Competitor.

Seven Cities contended for the honour of being the birthplace of
the author of those standard works, the Iliad and Odyssey. Had it
existed at that early period, Cromer would, no doubt, have also put
m its claim, for this overpowering and allsufficient reason,—that
there is no other spot on earth which rhymes so well to Homer.

THE SCHOOLMASTER VERY MUCH "ABROAD."

" He commended to the attention of Government the books used in elemen-
tary schools. He had looked through a set adopted by our two largest edu-
cational societies, and adapted to the New Code. They were full of ambiguities
and errors. In the pages devoted to geography Iceland was said to be in
America. In the botanical portion, ' sap ' was said to be, ' according to some
eminent authorities, not exactly black, as it appears, but of a dark blue
colour.' . . . Seals, whales, shrimps, aud prawns, were said to be fish, &c."—
Sir John Lubbock, on Elementary Education, House of Commons, July 21,
1871.

SCHOOL CATECHISM. (Specimen.)
(Dedicated to Her Majesty's Inspectors of Schools.)
Where is Winchester ?

Winchester is an island by itself, and the capital of Southampton.
Where are the Straits of Gibraltar ?

They divide Asia from Africa, and are spanned by the largest
suspension-bridge in the world.
Describe briefly the United States.

The United States are close to the Mediterranean Ocean, and can
be seen on a fine day from the top of Snowdon. They consist, princi-
pally, of California, Mexico, New York, Newfoundland, Canada, Peru,
and the Ojibbeway Indians. Their chief products are cheese,
American apples, cotton wool, preserved ginger, mocassins, toma-
toes, and turtle-soup. They are governed by a Republic, and the
President is executed every four years. The capital is alternately
Ohio and I.O.U.

What is dew ?

Dew is small rain which falls in the night time when we are
asleep. When it can be collected in sufficient quantities in
buckets, it is excellent for domestic purposes, and is then known as
soft water.

What is gum ?

A gelatinous substance extracted from sea-weed found on the
coast of Arabia and used for cooking purposes.
What is the temperature of the earth ?

The heat of the earth is very oppressive, especially in summer,
owing to the great quantity of coal fermenting underground.
How is coal produced ?

From fossils, the bones of antediluvian animals, the debris of
extinct Empires, and a certain amount of friction.
Describe the action of the tides ?

The tides are different in different countries, and depend upon the
almanack and the weather. When it is high water at London Bridge
it is low water somewhere else, and viva voce. Persons who bathe
may always ascertain the state of the tide years beforehand, by
addressing a stamped envelope to the Editor of the Nautical
Almanack, but he will not be responsible for rejected contributions.

What causes an eclipse ?

The sudden interposition of masses of dark clouds between the sun
(or moon) and the earth.
What is a prawn ?

A prawn is a better sort of shrimp, and the young of the lobster.
What is an eel ?

An edible fresh-water snake, amphibious, untameable, and very
tenacious of life. It is found in all cool countries, and hibernates
during the winter season. Eels have been known to attain to a
great age; and their eggs, which are green speckled with yellow,
are greatly prized by nat-uralists and collectors.

USE FOR GREENWICH HOSPITAL.

Certain influential persons have set on foot a movement with the
view of getting some use made of Greenwich Hospital, which "noble
structure," says a newspaper paragraph, has, since the " exodus," a
few years ago, of its " then inmates," most of it " remained tenant-
less." They intend soliciting Government to utilise it for national
purposes. There is one national purpose for which Greenwich Hos-
pital might be well utilised ; that of affording a foreign King or
Emperor, whilst the guest of the nation, a decent residence, which,
because, unless some nobleman can be got to lend him a mansion,
we have not to offer, the Royal or Imperial stranger has to be billeted
at a publichouse.

Liquor Lawson.

Instead of being Member for Carlisle, Sir Wilfrid Lawson
should represent some Irish constituency. He would fain deal with
the Publicans by abolishing the Liquor Trade ! What a Bull! At
the next election this champion of compulsory total abstinence will
perhaps be returned for Waterford. A declared enemy of whiskey
is not likely to be the Elect of Cork.