Punch (61.1871)

236

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[December 2, 1871.

PATENT SAFETY!"

Portly Female. "Be careful, Cabman ; I'm so Afraid of his Tumbling Down. It's very Slippery on that Asphalte.
Cabby. "All Eight, Mum! You 'Set' well back, Mum, and I'm Blessed if he could go Down if he Tried! "

WET AND DEY.

{Being the Thanksgiving Song of a Thirsty Soul of Great
Swallow, but Limited Resources.)

Hurrah for the Frost, and the Ice so thin

On the " Waters Ornamental,"
With ladders and ropes, and men to go in

To immersions accidental!
Hurrah for the cosy and snug marquees

Of the kind Humane Society !
For well-warmed blankets and beds of ease,

And stimulants—sing Lulliety !

A fig for Ayrton, that Turk of Turks.

To the Commons' House let's go,
And make 'em insist that the Board of Works

Shall drain the Park lakes low.
Into four-foot water 'tis safe to fall—

'Tis a morning tub for me !
With the icemen by, and the drags to haul,

And the " hot with " steaming free'

All green and blue, and tallow of hue,

I pull a piteous mug !
Wet clothes off! Into hot blankets two,—

No objection to a rug !
His teeth they chatter : he shuts his eyes :

His pulse is very low :
For stimulants his system cries—

Then let the hot-grogs flow !

Yes—bless the Frost, the Parks, and the Ice,

And bless the Humane Society !
Long may they provide marquees so nice,

And stimulants to satiety !

And oft may I find myself immersed

In the Ornamental Waters,
While to warm me through, and to quench my thirst,

The H. S. finds such quarters!

PUNCH'S REVIEW.

Punch's Pocket-Book for 1872.—Rarely has fallen under our
notice so perfect a gem of artistic and literary art as this charming
volume, and it is our impartial and unbiassed opinion that this is the
Book of the Season. The names of the artists who have contributed
a mass of the most delectable pictures ever seen are known to us,
and therefore in order to avoid the slightest suspicion of being
influenced, we will merely say, that whether we regard the illustra-
tions to this album for their fancy, grace, taste, brilliancy, ease,
power, finish, or finesse, we are equally amazed at the genius which
has been exhibited by the gifted artists. But the literary composi-
tions are anonymous, and we have no guess at their authorship, and
therefore we may praise them without laying ourselves open to a
charge of flattery. We have no guess at the owners of the pens that
have shed such a profusion of sparkles. There are dramas, any
one of which would make a manager's fortune, ghost stories that
would freeze the blood under a tropical sky, fairy tales that might
excite the envy of Hans Andersen (could he feel that passion),
lyrics which deserve an immortality, and satires that will _ attain
one. We imitate the graceful reticence of contemporary critics in
speaking guardedly of that which we admire, and in avoiding any-
thing like puff, which indeed were superfluous in the case of this
volume, but we will say that the production is simply amazing. We
observe that a considerable addition is made to the usual quantity of
literature, and if we could find it in our heart to complain of the
Editor, whoever he may be, we should gently reproach him with
having given us twenty times too much for the coin which pur-
chases the book. No gentleman's pocket, no lady's desk, can be
without it. (Adv.)