Punch (92.1887)

Januaey J, 1887.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

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WISHES FOR THE NEW TEAR.

H. H. II. The Prince of Wales.—That there may be no further
opposition to my excellent scheme for an Imperial Institute. That
Mr. Punch and myself may agree on every subject.

Lord Salisbury.—That Hartington will listen to reason,' and
that every blessing may light 'on my dear Randolph's head.

Lord Hartington.—Wish Randolph hadn't spoilt my holiday.
Wish 1 hadn't been born an hereditary politician.

Mr. Parnell.—That my friends in Ireland will in future leave me
to fix on the " plan of campaign."

The Czar.—That the Powers would unanimously accept Katkoff
as Prince of Bulgaria, so that I could have a few hours' peace in my
own dominions.

The Prince of Mingrelia.—That the Czar would let me go off
quietly to Monte Carlo, instead of Sophia.

Mr. Justice Butt.—That the Divorce Court may be turned iato a
Camera Obscura.

Mr. Gladstone.—That the Sultan had given me that diamond
cigar-ease instead of Chamberlain.

Mr. Labouchere.—That the Gr. 0. M. may be led to see the value
of my constant support by the time he is making up his next
Cabinet.

Mr. Chamberlain.—That I may get the Premiership.
Mr. Morley.—I wish he may get it.

Lord P. Churchill.—That those idiotic London Members really
knew something of the public opinion they are supposed to represent,
and that I had never been led by them into an unpopular crusade
against the Coal and Grain Dues.

Sir Philip Cunliffe Owen.—That I had never set eyes on South
Kensington1

The Governor of Kilmainham.—That the Nationalist platform
may always contain a plank-bed as one item.

Sir Charles Warren.—That not a single aggrieved citizen during
the whole twelvemonth may have reason to think that the Force is
no remedy.

Mr. Punch, for the whole British Public.—That the year may
contain as few Society scandals, prosecutions of Irish leaders, Par-
liamentary wrangles. All-night Sittings, Trafalgar Square Meetings,
Prize-fights, East "Winds, Burglaries, and Bye-Elections as is con-
sistent with the continued and unimpaired existence of the British
Constitution.

Another "New Departure."—Lord Randolph's from the
Cabinet.

THE MYSTERY OF GREAT PRINTING-HOUSE SQUARE.

The only newspaper, as far as we are aware, that prrblished the
startling news of Lord Randolph's resignation last Thursday morn-
ing was the Times. So for onee not even the most Ultra-Liberal or
Radical journal was in advance of the Ti/nes. The Pall Mall
Gazette was so astonished that it thought the Jupiter must have been
hoaxed, and sent an Interviewer post haste to Lord Randolph.
But the ex-Chancellor was too wary a bird to be caught, and the
P.3I.G. Young Man had to be content with interviewing Lord
Randolph's Secretary. Who gave the Times the private and con-
fidential tip ? Was it Randolph himself ? Anyhow the Times was
not hoaxed, though it was '1 taken in " everywhere and by everybody
that morning.

To Lovers of a Good Dinner.

" Civilised man cannot live without dining," sings Lord Lttton.
Still less can half-civilised children. If, however, any bon-vivant,
who happens to have a good heart as well as a good digestion, wishes
to know what pleasure can be got out of dining, let him take a turn at
the Mission Room in Clerkenwell Close, where Mr. J. A. Groom, Super-
intendent of the Elower Girls' Mission and Brigade, on Wednesdays
and Thursdays supplies halfpenny hot meat dinners to hundreds of
poor children. A Halfpenny Hot Meat Dinner! If that is not a
"good" dinner, what is? Failing a personal visit, the next best
thing the bon-vivant can do is to send a representative—in the shape
of a handsome contribution to the Mission's funds. A guinea will
give a dinner to 504 poor children! Spare as many guineas as
possible; send some to Nazareth House for the poor old folks at
home there, and yon will have done something worthy of the title of
the real Bon- Vivant, with an emphasis on the " bon."

" Days with Sis Roger de Coverlet" (Maomillan),—In our
notice of this charmingly got-up and most seasonable book we omit-
ted to mention the name of the Artist, Mr. Hugh Thomson, whose
work does so much to enhance the value of the selections. But why
did we omit it ? Because we could not find it, where, as we contend,
it ought to have been, on the title-page facing the frontispiece,
which, by the way, is not at all a fair specimen of his work through-
out the volume. After careful search right through the book, we
discovered it at last where we might have looked at first, modestly
recorded on a sort of fly-page at the commencement. Quite an
unexpected pleasure, and delighted to meet him anywhere. It is
also emblazoned on the cover, but the cover of our copy was itself
protected by a paper wrapper, which as it happened we didjiot
remove. This explanation is simple and satisfactory.

vol. xcn.