Punch (92.1887)

6 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Waby l, 1887,

A YOUNG HUMANITARIAN.

"On. Mamma, Mamma, couldn't you interfere ? There's a horrid Man squeezing something under his Arm, and he

IS hurting it so ! "

THE JUBILEE "MEET."

Old Huntsman loquitur ;—

Jump into the saddle, my juvenile ! Just so!

You have, for a youngster, a promising seat,
'Twill serve you 'cross country, at least, lad, I trust so ;

My eye is upon you, at this, your first meet. .
I've witnessed so many, and so as a Mentor

You cannot do better than take Mr. P.,
"With the eye of a hawk and the seat of a Centaur,

And so keep your eye, my young Nimrod, on me !'
You'll have to look sharp, if you'd hold the first flight;
But just follow me, and you 're bound to go right.

The first dash at anything's thrilling, my younker,

But keep a cool head and a not too hot heel.
You need not, of course, be a fumbler or fuuker,

But fate tries not only our fire, but our steel.
There is many a " nasty one " looming ahead, lad ;

The run will be long, and the course may be rough;
There is no royal road, in this chase when all's said, lad;

Your nerves must be steady, your muscles be tough.
Yohoieks! Tallyho! This seems capital fun;
But we are not, you see, at the end of the run.

You're lucky, my lad, such occasions to few come,

For this is a Grand Anniversary Meet.
That ought to put you on your mettle, young Newcome.

A chance such as this, youthful courage should greet.
The run will be certainly hot and exciting,

The field will be full, and the company grand,
"Why, e'en an old huntsman, in caution delighting

May feel himself get just a bit out of hand.
Tallyho ! Tallyho ! We will go it to-day,
For such frolics as this come but once in a way.

You are fresh to the pink and the pigskin, my youngster,
So mark the Old Hand, and attend to his tip ;

Don't prove what Lord Tennyson calls a mere "tonguester;"
Don't shout, but ride straight, quiet hand, steady grip.

The prospect is foggy, some fields heavy, boggy,
And raspers and croppers may come at the close.

Good going at present, my bright adolescent?
Not much ! Hark ! the horn its shrill tantara blows.

Here's pace to the steady, and stay to the fleet,

And good fortune all round at the Jubilee Meet I

IN THE CRACKERS.

For Lord Salisbury. —A new Leader in the House of Commons.

Mr. Gladstone.—Free pass to the Stalls at " Olympia."

Mr. Chamberlain.—Parcel of recently imported Greek Oratorical
Fire, to be used shortly, and displayed at the Athens of the North.

<S(V M. Hicks-Beach.—Draft for a new Crimes Act, drawn up at
Dublin, from Notes taken on the spot.

The Emperor of Russia.—The Bulgarian Constitution in a nut-
shell.

M. Credit Note for £20,000,000, to be spent forthwith in

French Armaments.

Prince Bismarck.—Materials for drawing up an Ultimatum.

The Postmaster-General.—Model of a Cunard Liner, in sugar,
and set of Complimentary Verses from Liverpool Commercial
Notabilities.

Mr. Parnell.—Prize Essay on " The Occasional Disadvantages of
Masterly Inaotion."

Sir Charles Warren.—Silver Dog Whistle, presented by subscrip-
tion from the Battersea Home.

The Bulgarian Delegates.—Invitation to cordial but unofficial
Interview on the back-stairs of the Foreign Office.

Puffing a "Churchwarden" which "Draws" well.—Mr.
Terry, in his new piece at the Olympic, is immensely funny. As
usual nowadays, the Play is a translation from the German.
Evidently, when Paris was occupied by the foreigner from beyond
the Rhine, the Library of the little Theatre in the Palais Royal must
have been sacked, and the contents carried off to the Fatherland.
Mr. Bishop is excellent in an eccentric character part. Mr. Tebry
might advertise the Olympic as a temporary "Church House," with a
Bishop and a Churchwarden as the attractions.