Punch (95.1888)

6

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 7, 1888.

PLEASURES OF A PLEASURE-HORSE.

Mr. Bigsby determines to write to the Times a Letter headed, "The Dangers of the Streets," denouncing Milk Carts

with rattling cans, bloycles, tricycles, german bands &c.

CLEARING THE COURSE!

Air—" Glar de Kitchen."

On St. Stephen's stream, to give us room,
We clear the course like a brand-new_ broom ;
And we form a regular Government ring,
And this is the song that we do sing:—

Clear the river; cockboats, cockboats !
Old Morality wants clear way!

'Ware, cockboats, 'ware ! If you should cross
The bows of the Government Launch, you '11 toss
On a terrible swell from shore to shore,
That might almost swamp a seventy-four.

So clear the river, &c.

Cockboats conceive St. Stephen's stream

Is free to all; 'tis a foolish dream.

When the big boat comes with the crew at the prow,

They must all get out of the way, somehow.

So clear the river, &c.

Like a big bull-frog in a tadpole swim,
ihe steam launch glideth grand and grim ;
And the Private Member who'd keep afloat,
YV ill be tossed like a cork in his crank cockboat.

So clear the river, &c.

There is Old Morality wants clear way,
And. the run of the river by night and day ;
And chief-mate Ritchie he cries with a frown,
it you don't clear out, I shall run you down ! "

So clear the river, &c.

'Tis an Aaron's rod of a craft, you see,
This Launch, and the skipper, Salisburee ;
Hopes if 'tis steered with strength and skill
It will clear the river and whip poor Will 1

So clear the river, cockboats, cockboats !
Old Morality wants clear way!

COLERIDGE CORRECT.
Lord Coleridge in a recent case made an observation, to which
we have already drawn attention, to the effect that he could not un-
derstand how anyone with such an honoured name as " Moses " could
ever_consent to change it for, e.g., "Mordaunt." The Handelian
Festival brought this remark of the Lord Chief Justice's vividly to
our mind. Where would be the force of substituting "Mordaunt"
for "Moses" in Israel in Egypt? Or to take a great work by
another Composer, Mose in Egitto, how would Mordaunt in Egitto
or Montmorency in Egitto sound r No; Lord Coleridge is right.
But is he not always right ? _

THE BARON'S BOOK.
The Memoirs of Baron de Rimini are anything but Barren
Rimini-iscences. Startling and amusing. I'm not jealous, though he
is a Baron as well as myself. Can't help bursting out into poetry
and singing:—

0 by Jingo! 0 my Jimini !

Marvellous Memoirs of Baron de Rimini ;
Nothing merely niminy-piminy

In the Memoirs of Baron de Rimin i!

Nothing like them since the records of Baron Munchausen, who, in
my humble opinion overdid it. Rimini doesn't; itisallfaet! There's
the startler. Truth stranger than Action. Haggard and Stevenson
nowhere. Walk up ! Yours, The Baron de Book Worms.

In be Scott r. Wilkinson.—Dear Mr. Punchy—I quite forgot to
say—indeed, it only occurred to me afterwards, and I couldn't re-open
the ease to admit the esprit d'escalier,—when I read out about the
'"orreries" in the school prospectus, and remarked on the defective
sanitation, "On 'orrery's head 'orreries accumulate."

Tours ever, L-ckw-d.

" We are in quite another World," Lord Coleridge is reported to
have said in his summing-up in the Wood case. The well-known
line from The Stranger can now, on the Lord Chief's authority, be
thus quoted, " There is another and a Betting World."