Punch (95.1888)

10

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 7, 1888.

EOBEET AT THE ACADEMY.

My constant wissits to the Royal Academy wunce every year, gets
my eye so acustomed to what is I bleeve called Eye Hart, that now,
when I entiir its sacred prcsinks, I jest casts my egle glance around,
and at wunce settles down upon my pray, and the first as I seizes
upon is Wo. 12, which I am told is a old woman a rowing of herself
to Market, with lots of wegetables, the most singular part of which is
the Sea, which, strange to say, is all milk, every drop of it, or it may
posserblybe curds and way, but it suttenly aint water.

No. 21 is Prince Bismarck. "Well, I dessay as he's quite a favorite
at tome, but I much wunders as he didn't git sumbody jest to tie his
xtrordinary
white handker-
sher for him
afore he went
to be painted.
Why a mear
Coffee House !
Waiter woud
be utterlyi
ashamed of
such a Tye!

The next
thing as fixes
my hegar gaze
is one of them
staggerers as
not ony stag-
gers but fairly
puzzles me. It
is No. 95, and
is called A
Siren. I don't
no what a Siren
is, or where
they happens to
live, but they
suttenly seems j
a remarkable |
careless lot.
Now this one
for instance has
been a having
a bath in the
Sea, without no
bathing - dress
on, and sum-
body has bin
and stole all
her close! and
there she sets,
poor thing, on
the hard rocks
a-trying for to
make the peeple
in a ship ever
so far oft come
and help her.
And all as she's

got to emuse
erself and
keep herself
warm is a little
Arp which I
spose as she's
werry fond of,
tho she's left
off plavingof it.

No. 107. Why
theR.H.theErl
of Harewood
shoud 'ave gone

RETURN OF PALMY ITALIAN OPERATIC DAYS.

Archie. "I say, Fred! Quite reminds one of Old Times, eh?"

and dressed hisself up in a Tourist's Suit, that coudn't have cost him
more than about 12s. 6d., when he was a going to have his picter
painted, is a puzzle to me, the more speshally as of course he might
have been painted in his crimson robes and with a Koronet on his
hed, and praps have been taken for a Sherrif or heven a Lord Mare !

No. 152 is called "Juno," sivmthink to do with the present munth I
suppose. She s a flying right hup into the hair, and is about the
hugliest and the crossest looking flyer as ever I seed. I overheard
a Cennelman say that the reason as she looked so dredful angry was
becoz she had jest left Paris in disgust, though why, I coud not
understand. But my'pore ed akes with seein so menny piektchers,
and I must ere def ur my most hintrestin remarx and erikisissums for
annuther hokkashun. Robert.

WIGS AND BONNETS.

My dear Mr. Punch:,

Tor are always so very kind to Ladies that I am quite sure
you will do your best to assist us to obtain the redress of a little
grievance that has caused us a lot of worry recently. You know
lioio fond we are of trials—especially a criminal one, where a nice
interesting murderer is put in the dock, and has to fight for his life.
It is such fun! But, alas! my dear Mr. Punch, the resources of the
Central Criminal Court are of the most limited character imaginable!
I can assure you there is scarcely any room on the Bench, and some-
times it is absolutely necessary for Ladies—accustomed to every home

comfort — to
put up with
wretched seats
in the body of
the Court! We
want you to
get all this
altered for us.
Cannot the Old
Bailey be re-
built, or some-
thing ?

What makes
the matter the
more irritating
to us is that at
the new Royal
Palace of Jus-
tice everything
is so very nice.
My sister and I
the other day,
were on the
Bench with
that dear Lord
Chief Justice,
and you cannot
think how ex-
cessively nice it
was! We had
such delight-
fully comfort-
able chairs, and
the "L. C. J."
(as our barrister
young friends
caU him); was
so amiable!
The dear good
creature scarce-
ly gave himself
any room at all
so that we
should not be
crowded! And
then the Lun-
cheon ! WeU,
I will not say
anything about
that, as (like
the Duke of

portland'slet-

ter), it was a
private matter!
But really and
truly it was
such fun!

We laughed
and talked to
our heart'scon-
tent, and the

dear Lord Chief J. kept on making such funny little remarks ! Pre-
tending, you know, not to understand anything about raoing, when
everybody feels that he is a thorough old sportsman ! I was rather
sorry I had not brought my "work " with me ; but a friend of mine
—such a clever young lady—had got her Sketch-book with her, and
took likenesses of all the witnesses! She finished by drawing Mr.
Lockwood, who, everyone says, is so clever with his pencil. If
he sketched her, I am sure it must have made a pretty picture, because
he seemed to be so pleased at attracting such attention!

If the Lord Chief Justice would let us bring a camera into Court,
we could have great fun! Now, dear Mr. Punch, pray don't ferget
about the C. C. C, and, believe me to be, always yours sincerely,

Horroi-sfield, Qloomshire. Emily de Chatterbox- Pry.