Punch (95.1888)

July 21, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE COMMON CRICKET, OK THANKYSIR IRRITANS.

VOCES POPULI.

AT THE ITALIAN EXHIBITION.

I» the Sculpture Galleby.

A group of British Visitors are dubiously inspecting an immense
" Monumental Fireplace" representing rocks, in the centre of
which a marble Mermaid {heroic size), is emerging from a gigantic
shell, and toying absently ivith an octopus.

First Visitor. Very peculiar, eh? (Consults Catalogue, and finds
the work described as " Decus .Pelagi," which does [not help him
much.) Urn—a fancy piece!

[Suddenly loses interest in it, and moves on.

Female V. (to her Husband). It looks like a drowned diver; but
then, what is that long thing, like the end of an eel, sticking out of
the shell ?

Her Husband. That's her tail—she's a mermaid, you see. And
an octopus has got hold of her arm, while she's pinched in that shell.
It's very well done.

F. V. Oh, very. But not at all a pleasant subject, is it ?

Husband. Well—(considers, without being able to arrive at any
opinion)—that depends on the view you take of it.

F. V. (wavering). I suppose it does ; but still—(forgets what her
objection is exactly, and becomes languid)—oh yes, no doubt.

Jocular V. (tonis Wife). How d'ye think that would look in our
back parlour, eh, Polly ?

Potty. I wouldn't have it, not if you was to give it me, I wouldn't.
"Why, they haven't left no place to stand a clock and ornaments on.

Mr. Highsniffe (who is endeavouring to form the taste, ofhis fiancee,
Miss Phyllis Tyke). You don't mean to tell me you like any of these
things!

Miss Phyllis. "Well, I don't pretend to be partial to statuary as a
general rule ; but I do like this. It's all so natural, with the eyes
Put in and everything. Why, look at the beads in this girl's neck-
lace !—and I'm sure you can count every stitch in that jersey ! And
the boy trying to button his shirt; and the black girl who has just
been vaccinated; and the little girl caught reading a book she
oughtn't to—they 're as real as life T

[Mr. Highsniffe comforts himself by reflecting that one can't
have everything in this world.

In the Picture Gallery.
A Visitor (examining a representation of the " Flight of the Pope
Eugenio IV."). That's the Pope, you see, standing up in the boat.

Second V. Yes, I suppose so; but who's that crouching down
behind the shield, in the red bonnet ?

First V. (who has not noticed tliis before). That! Oh, that's his
■ wife, I expect.

In Moom V. are some Colossal Canvasses, which produce an
intimidating effect upon the spectators, who stand before them in
gasping silence.

First Spectator (on recovering speech). Appears to be a battle, or
something of the kind, going on, eh ? (has a misgiving that this is
rather a rash conclusion). I don't know, though.
' Second S. Oh, it's a battle—it's certainly a battle. What battle,
I can't say, unless it's the battle of—(tries to recollect the name of

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any ancient battle, but fails). Very likely the catalogue will tell us.
Ah, of course, Imera—in Sicily, you know (he gives this piece of
information as if he had not just found it in the Catalogue).

First S. Imera—to be sure it is! Let me see, it was fought
between the Sicilians and—and, wrasn't it the Romans ?

Second S. It was the Romans (thinks there may be somebody
behind who knows, and hedges)—that is, if it wasn't the Greeks. I
rather fancy it was the Greeks.

A Puzzled Person (reading Catalogue). " See Heeodotus "—'urn,

His Wife. Is that Heeodotus on the grey horse ?

[P. P. gives it up.

Paterfamilias (to his son). Here, Bob, you're fresh from College.
What's " Hie Optime Manebimus " ? Title of this picture over here.

Bob (after a cautious reference to the Catalogue). Oh, it's out of
Plutarch— about the Second Foundation of Rome, and. Camillus,
and so on.

Pater. I can read that for myself. What I want to know is, what
the Latin means.

Bob. Oh! (desperately)Manebimus is the best man here ; " he
was a popular character at that time—a demagogue and all that.

Pater, (suspiciously). I don't see what that has got to do with the
life of Camillus.|

Bob (" bluffing"). Camillus—why Manebimus was his other name!

Miss Phyllis (to her fiance). Oh, come along; never mind these
stupid Italian oil-colours. I'm sure they 're not worth looking at.

Mr. Highsniffe. I'm glad to hear you say so. These—ah (with a
slightly corrective emphasis), oil-paintings hardly deserve any serious
study. Where would you like to go now ? There are several things
you really ought to see.

Miss Phyllis. I've seen all Jwant—let's go on the switchback.
[He yields with an inward shudder, and wishes that her tastes
were less primitive.

In the " Alimentaey Annexe."

Mrs. Bryanston. How do you do, Mr. Lapsling ? I'm only just
waiting to see these Mandolinist people come on—and then I shall go.

Mr. Lapsling. Oh, really ? I—I hope they won't be very long
before they begin, then.

[It dawns upon him, ten minutes later, that he might have made
a happier remark.

In the Maeionetie Theatee.

The Puzzled Person (the First Part is beginning, and a bearded
puppet in a turban has just made his_ appearance on the stage). I
don't exactly see what a Turk is doing in The Eruption of Vesuvius.
(A female marionette comes on with a jerky caution, kneels to the Turk,
clasps her hands passionately, and then beckons—the marionette with
the beard is evidently deeply moved.) Ah ! _ she 's warning him to fly
from the eruption. (Another female marionette enters, and kneels,
after pointing upwards in wild terror.) I fancy there's some mistake
in the programme. It's The Deluge they're doing—not The Erup-
tion, after all. That's Noah with the beard, and they're begging
him to take them in the Ark. Yes, that's it, of course. (Scene
shifts to a cavern under the sea, ivith a fish swimming in mid air,
without making any progress.) I thought so—it is The Deluge. (The
bearded puppet enters, and, after one or two abortive efforts, succeeds
in jumping inside the fish.) Hullo! that cant be Noah, though !
Why, of course, it's Jonah—Jonah and the Whale. (Last change
of scene to hall with columns and pillars ; procession of four janis-
saries enters marching, with their feet in the air; a small dioarf
folloios, and begins to dance with great energy—-re-appearance of
bearded marionette with a staff, which he tosses up and catches like a
drum-major, as the curtain falls.) Why, 1 thought he was inside
the fish. Well, it doesn't seem very connected, to me—but (with a
bright idea) perhaps that was the BaUet Excelsior. Eh ? no, that's
the Second Part, though. Ah, well, we shall find out by-and-by, I

Elderly Maiden Lady (during the "pas seul" by the prima balle-
rina in "Excelsior"). Well, my dear, I don't know how you can
laugh I'm sure—/never saw anything so shameless in all my life-
it ought not to be allowed.

Outside the Colosseum, afteb "The Tbiumph of Titus."
Mother (to small boy). Well, Feeddy, did you like it ?
Freddy. Yes, pretty well. Only I thought they'd have had lions,
and—and—real martyrs, you know.

Latest Knights.—Announced as the "New Musical Knights."
One of them, Sir Charles Halle, is rather an Old Musical Knight,
being seventy years of age, but—H'allez done /—he doesn't loek it
or show it, when he appears at the " Pops " as popular as ever. Sir
John Stainee is a Newer Knight. " The Knight is still young,"
being only fortv-eight. He has plenty of time before him to prove
himself a capable Sir-stainer of his well-deserved reputation. With
musical honours, Gentlemen, charge your musical glasses!

vol. xcv.

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