Punch (95.1888)

November 24, 1888.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

251

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. (EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY. M_P.)

House of Commons, Monday Night, November 12.—House looked
like old times at Question Hour. Benches full; great expectation;
volleys of Questions. Particular inquiries about Wheel and Van
Tax. Go«chen judiciously absent.

"No, Toby," he said, nervously brushing his hat the wrong way.
" If you don't mind, I '11 just stop here in my own room till Ques-
tions are over. I know some one will ask whether it's true I have
abandoned the "Wheel and Van Tax. I can't, at present, bring
myself to speak on the subject. 1 'm very much attached to the
measure, as they say parents often are to the least thriving of their
offspring. I have cherished it for months against assaults from all
sides, and I cannot face the thought of abandoning it. Life would
not be worth living without my Wheel and Van Tax. There's
something soothing in the very name."

" Come, come," I said, not liking to see man of mirth like Jokem
thus broken down. "You've done your best; you can't help
results. Besides, if you like the sound of name, and they won't let
you have the Wheel and Van Tax, why not try a Weal and 'Am
Tax ? Anything to turn an honest penny! "

"Toby," he said, springing up, and shaking me warmly bv the
paw, " You've saved me. A Weal and 'Am Tax is surely unobjec-
tionable ; repeated briskly, sounds much like the other ; daresay, in
time, I '11 be able to transfer my affections. Excuse me, I must go
and get up a few statistics, and see how it will work out. ' Weal
and 'Am Tax ;' good ! "

Told Henry James about this. But so full of his own project,
hadn't word of sympathy for GoscnEX.

"Going to have such larks with Webster," he said; "Dick