Punch / Almanack (1845)

^liYo State Trials.

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Light Sovereigns called in; and, after a terrible sweating, arrive
at the Bank.

Lobd Mayor complains of dirty state of the City. Alderman

Gibbs objecting to put. down the dust. Very dirty!
Mr. Holcombe presents to the Queen eight pure-bred Ban

tams, which henceforth "take their peck" at Windsor.
England at peace with all the world. Wonderful I that's a
piece we don't owe to the French.

6 At tam actioi*a pok penalties brought against noblb turfites.
La ! what an exposure of legs.

___t exposure of leys.

V;rJjjjTHE Grasshopper placed on the Royal Exchange. Poor grass,
j hopper I he won't find many green blades there.

"iChantrey's bronze statue of George IV. placed in Trafalgar
Square.—A fine statue of a bad caste.
300 Charity boys go to see Pictures in Nat. Gal. None of

the boys past Ten-iers! (Reader, log.) Oh ! Joe Miller and his men.
Lord Brougham's return to England announced. Lord Campbell

learns from the "Tipton Slasher" the noble art of self-defence.
A pudding 290 lbs. weight boiled at Aughton.—So large, that all
the children of the village walked into it.

SunOap.

Extraordinary.—During the whole of the month the upper Beadle of

the Burlington Arcade has never been out of temper.
54 Prisoners transferred from the Millbank Penitentiary, all
marked M.P. As bad as the Premier, who always has an M.P. qj his back.
Wonderful Precocity.—There is a cad, a mere boy only 16 years old,
who understands the whole of the machinery of the Brixton tieadraill.
20,296 pipes of port wine imported into England. 21,296 pipes of
" beeswing." What a hum !

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Me. H. Phillips' first lbctore on Hebrew Music. The poet of

Moses & Son presides at the Jews' harp.
Charles Kean arrives in town top. the last rehearsal of

Richard III.—The last I Ah 1 no such luck my hoys.

gunDap.

Lusos Nature. At Coventry, ast week, a kitten was born with the

head of a red herring.
An attorney struck off the rolls to follow philanthropical

pursuits. He opens a dairy, to serve out the milk of human kindness.
Westminster Bridge reported to be unsafe—having—what the

Parishioners of Walbrook Ions for—r settlement.
Sir G. Metcalf sends j61C0 to the British and Foreign Insti.

tuts. "So much for Buckingham."
The Irish petition for an extended trade with England in

80AF—being desirous of lathering the Saxon.

fflortnerston of St. $aul.
SutiBap.

Scotch Farmers determine to destroy Rooks—won't let them

devour the grub in Scotland.
Trial for Custom House Frauds. "They've done their duty, and

they've done no more."—Tom Thumb.
Great Match against Time. Widdicomb mounts a new wig, and

leaves Time forty years behind.

faartpttjom of ffiiiartcs ttje jMtst.

Strike of scissar makers at Sheffield. The masters having/mortei
down the prices, the workmen strike in defence.— [Brilliant—M /]

soliloquy of A sheriff's officer.

Hilary T erm ! Pshaw ! There's nothing hilarious about our terms
now. This is a precious land of liberty, this is ! ven a sheriff's officer
can't find a shoulder to turn his hand to. Time vas, ven I took my
two bottles and my six bodies a-day. But now I thinks brandy-
and-vater a luxury, and hasn't as much as a diaman' ring to my
finger; I vender ven they'11 gladden my heart vith a "execution?"
for the sheriff's officer who vouldn't serve a fellow-cretur in a distress,
isn't vorthy of the name of Levy ! So I may as veil sell Madame Tussaud
my top-boots to stand by them figures of Vellington's and Blucher's.

climate of london.

Professor Howard, in analysing the climate of London, took some
fog home in a basin, and found it to contain nine parts smoke to one
part porter. He undertook to extract a pint of stout from the atmo-
sphere of Oxford-street on a very foggy day, if the fog only lasted till
he had completed the operation.

extraordinary statistical fact.

A lady in Pitzroy-square has a cat which in the course of last
year broke fifty plate3, six cream-jugs, two brass candlesticks, throe 11 for it regularly every morning.

soup-tureens, fifteen tea-cups, and one poker; and has eaten no
less than thirty chickens, two sweetbreads, seven turkeys, three legs
of lamb, ten gooseberry-pies, and three pots of preserved apricots.
Nevertheless, this extraordinary cat is the greatest favourite with
the cook and all the servants.

worthy of attention.

Advice to persons about to marry,—Don't.

the art of packing.

A carpet bag should be packed by placing the clean linen in first,
including the frilled shirts. After which stuff in the coats and boots ;
garnish with shaving-tackle, and ram down with hair-brush. If the
packing is not then successful, insert your foot into the bag, and pull
fiercely at the handles. It does not matter about the carpet bag being
wide open at both sides, so as it is closed with a padlock in the middle.

mustard.

The lodging-house variety is very scarce. It may sometimes,
however, be raised in about a week from the kitchen, by ringing