Punch / Almanack: Punch / Almanack (1849)

THE NATIONAL GUARDS.

VERNON
GALLERY

JULY XXXI. DAYS.

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TA'JSSAUDUK

GHIJDSON I
JEWIJNDfj
PIUS'S

January. (Things to bk Done.)
— Wedding-Day Party on New
Year's Day ; married thirteen years
to Goto bed. Dance, and a round
game. Kill two holidays with one
sandwich. — 'lake the children to
Pantomime, if possible with orders.

February.'—Keep Julta's 12th
birth-day. Huy a little present for
Gotobed. For fortnight no fish ; no
puddings. Think of something nice
towards end of month for Gotobed's
suppers. Induce Gotobed (only just
for once) to look in with me at Swan
& Edgar's.

March.—Resolve to insist upon
fur tippet and cuffs, or resolve to
catch my death, or keep at home till
mild weather.—Leave oif muffins.—
Samuel eleven years old ; keep
the day. — Expect a present from
Gotobed.

April.—Treat Gotobhjj rfith a nice
quarter of house-lamh ; we 're both so
fond of it.—To make up Income-Tax,
leave off fires. Must save somewhere ;
the rates so dreadful. — Just look in
at Swan & Edgar's.—Keep Mary
Anne's 10th birth-day.

May.—Go with children to Exeter
Hall and Mr.Kobert Montgomery.
Little dears! let'em enjoy life while
they can.— Walk to Swan & Ed-
oar's : no times these for money on
busses.—Keep Joseph's 9th birth-
day : first gooseberry pudding; what-
ever the price of gooseberries, will
have a pudding.

Junk,.—Children home for holidays:

THE WIFE'S ALMANACK.

minds. Go to Swan & Edgar's.—
Louisa eight years old ; keep it with
wild beasts and fireworks at Surrey
Gardens.

July.—Talk to Gotobed about
leaving town.—Calculate the cost till
end of month, which will be next to
nothing.—Can't go to sea-side a fright;
therefore go to Swan & Edgar's.

August.—At Margate happy, and
thinking of nothing but Gotobed's
coming down on Saturdays. Louisa
and Peter's birth-days both falling
this month, keep 'em together—must
save somewhere. Don't go at all to
Swan & Edgar's.

September. — Pack up and get
home. Set house to rights. - Keep
Kitty's 5th birth-day; and for a
change, go somewhere else—not
Swan & Kduar's.

October.—Make Gotobed live
close and quiet, to save for Margate ;
don't buy for myself to much as a
piece of tape. A quiet juvenile party
for Georgy's birth-day—Malaga and
pound-cake—the dear thing only four
years.—Hardly believe I once think
of Swan <to Edgar's.

November.—Don't stir, and see
nobody: must save for Christmas.—
Just a few friends—Sally three years
old. Gofor Christmas gown to Swan
«fc Edgar's.

December.—Boys home.—Mince-
pies. A love of a turkey from Norfolk.
—Dear baby's birth-day, Christmas
Eve. Plum-pudding big as balloon.
Delightful Christmas day; all so happy

as a duty, take 'em to Madame Tub- i and so gay—I wearing new gown from
baud's, and everywhere, 10 opentheir 1 Swan & Edgar's.