Punch or The London charivari (1.1841)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

107

THEATRICAL INTELLIGENCE.

by the reporter of the " observer."

The "mysterious and melodramatic silence" which Mr. C. Mathews
■promised to observe as to his intentions in regard to the present season,
has at length been broken. On Monday last, September the sixth, Covent
•Garden Theatre opened to admit a most brilliant audience. Amongst the
■company we noticed Madame Vestris, Mr. Oxberry, Mr. Harley, Miss
Rainsforth, aDd several other distingueartistes. It would seem, from the
substitution of Mr. Oxberry for Mr. Keeley, that the former gentleman is
engaged to take the place of the latter. Whispers are afloat that, in con-
sequence, one of the most important scenes in the play is to be omitted.
Though of little interest to the audience, it was of the highest importance
■to the gentleman whose task it lias hitherto been to perform the parts of
Quince, Bottom, and Flute.

We, who are conversant with all ths mysteries of the flats' side of the
preen curtain, beg to assure our readers, that the Punch scene hath taken
wing, and that the dressing-room of the above-named characters will no
longer be redolent of the furaes of compounded bowls. We may here re-
mark that, had our hint of last season been attended to, the Punch would
have still been continued :—Mr. Harley would not consent to have the
flies picked out of the sugar. Rumour is busy with the suggestion that
for this reason, and this only, KeeLey seceded from the establishment.

We think it exceedingly unwise in the management not to have secured
the services of Madame Corsiret for the millinery department. Mr. Wilson
-still supplies the wigs. We have not as yet been able to ascertain to whom
the swords have been consigned. Mr. Emden's assistant superintends the
blue-fire and thunder, but it has not transpired who works the traps.

With such powerful auxiliaries, we can promise Mr- C. Mathews a pros-
perous season.

the amende honorable.

Quoth Will, " On that young servant-maid

My heart its life-string stakes."
*' Quite safe ! " cries Dick, " don't be afraid—

She pays for all she breaks."

providing for evil days.

The iniquities of the Tories having become proverbial, the House of
Lords, with that consideration for the welfare of the country, and care for
the morals of the people, which have ever characterised the compeers of
ihe Lord Coventry, have brought in a bill for the creation of two Vice-
Chancellors. Brougham foolishly proposed an amendment, considering one
to be sufficient, but found himself in a singular minority when the House

divided on the motion.

In the Egyptian room of the British Museum is a statue of the deity
Ibis, between two mummies. This attracted the attention of Sib:horp, as
ne lounged through the room the other day with a companion. " Why,"
said nis friend, "is that statue placed between the other two? " "To
preserve it to be sure," replied the keenly-witted Sib. " You know the
old saying teaches us, ' In medio tutissimus Ibis.' "

PUNCH'S THEATRE.

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JAMES DAWSON.1

E R C Y on us, what a code of
morality—what a conglomera-
tion of plots (political, social,
and domestic)—what an ex-
emplar of vice punished and
virtue rewarded—is the "New-
gate Calendar !" and Newgate
itself! what tales might it not
relate, if its stones could speak,
had its fetters the gift of tongues!

But these need not be no
gifted : the proprietor of the
Victoria Theatre supplies the
deficiency : the dramatic edition
of Old-Bailey experience he is
bringing out on each successive
Monday, will soon be complete ;
and when it is, juvenile Jack
Sheppards and incipient Turpins
may complete their education at
the moderate charge of sixpence per week. The " intellectualization of the
people" must not be neglected : the gallery of the Victoria invites to its instruc-
tive benches the young, whose wicked parents have neglected their education—
the ignorant, who know nothing of the science of highway robbery, or the more
delicate operations of picking pockets. National education is the sole aim of the
sole lessee—money is no object ; but errand-boys and apprentices must take their
Monday night's lessons, even if they rob the till. By this means an endless
chain of subjects will be woven, of which the Victoria itself supplies the links ;
the " Newgate Calendar" will never be exhausted, and the cause of morality and
melodrama continue to run a triumphant career !

The leaf of the " Newgate Calendar" torn out last Monday for the delec-
tation and instruction of the Victoria audience, was the " Life and Death of
James Dawson," a gentleman rebel, who was very properly hanged in 1716.

The arrangement of incidents in this piece was evidently an appeal to the inge-
nuity of the audience—our own penetration failed, however, in unravelling the
plot. There was a drunken, gaming, dissipated student of St. John's, Cambridge
—a friend in a slouched hat and an immense pair of jack-boots, and a lady who
delicately invites her lover (the hero) " to a private interview and a cold colla-
tion." There is something about a fivc-hundred-pound note and a garabling-
table—a heavy throw of the dice, and a heavier speech on the vices of gaming,
by a likeness of the portrait of Dr. Dilworth that adorns the spelling-books. The
hero rushes off in a state of distraction, and is followed by the jack-boots in pur-
suit ; the enormous strides of which leave the pursued but little chance, though
he has got a good start.

At another time two gentlemen appear in kilts, who pass their time in a long
dialogue, the purport of which we were unable to catch, for they were conversing
in stage-Scotch. A man then comes forward bearing a elever resemblance to tho
figure-head of a snuff-shop, and after a few words with about a dozen companions,
the entire body proceed to fight a battle ; which is immediately done behind tho
scenes, by four pistols, a crash, and the double-drummer, whose combined efforts
present us with a representation of—as the bills kindly inform us—the "Battle
of Cullodeu !" The hero is taken prisoner ; but the villain is shot, and his jack-
boots are cut off in their prime.

James Dawson is not despatched so quickly : he takes a great deal of dying,—
the whole of the third act being occupied by that inevitable operation. Newgate
— a " stock" scene at this theatre—an execution, a lady in black and a state of
derangement, a muffled drum, and a " view of Kennington Common," terminate
the life of " James Dawson," who, wo had the consolation to observe, from the
apathy of the audience, will not be put to the trouble of dying for more than
half-a-dozen nights longer.

Before the "Syncretic Society" publishes its next octavo on the state of the
Drama, it should send a deputation to the Victoria. There they will observe
the written and acted drama in the lowest stage it is possible for even their imagi-
nations to conceive. Even " Martinuzzi" will bear comparison with the " Life
and Death of James Dawson."

THE BOARDING SCHOOL.
At the " Boarding School" established by Mr. Bernard in the Haymarket
Theatre, young ladies are instructed in flirting and romping, together with the use
of the eyes, at the extremely moderate charges of five and three shillings per les-
son ; those being the prices of admission to the upper and lower departments of
Mr. Webster's academy, which is hired for the occasion by that accomplished
professor of punmanship Bayle Bernard. The course of instruction was, on the
opening of the seminary, as follows :—

The lovely pupils were first seen returning from their morning walk in double
file, hearts beating and ribbons flying; for they encountered at the door of the
school three yeomanry officers. The military being very civil, the eldest of the
girls discharged a volley of glances; and nothing could exceed the skill and pre-
cision with which the ladies performed their eye-practice, the effects of which were
destructive enough to set the yeomanry in a complete flame ; and being thus
primed and loaded for closer engagements with their charming adversaries, they
go off.

The scholars then proceed to their duties iu the interior of the academy,
uud we find them busily engaged in the study of "The Complete Lovelettor