Punch or The London charivari (1.1841)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

143

SONGS FOR THE SENTIMENTAL.—NO. 8.

You say I have forgot the vow

I hreath'd in days long past ;
But had I faithful been, that thou

Hadst loved me to the last.
Without me, e'en a throne thou'dst Bcorn —

With me, contented bee !
Faise maid ! 'tis not that I'm forsworn,—

The boot's on t'other leg.

Amidst the revel thou wast gay,

The blithest with the song!
Though thou believ'dst me far away,

An exile at Boulogne.
'Twas then, and not till then, my heart

To love thee did refuse ;
My vows became (false that thou art !)—

Another pair of shoes !

AFFAIRS IN CHINA.

PRIVATE LKTTER FROM a YOl'NG OFFICER AT THE ENGLISH FACTORY, CANTON,
TO HIS BROTHER IN ENGLAND.

Dear Tom,—Everything is going on gloriously—the British arms are tri-
umphant—and we now only require the Emperor of China's consent to our taking
possession of his territory, which I am sorry to say there is at present no likeli-
hood of obtaining. However, there is little doubt, if we be not all swept off by
ague and cholera, that we shall be able to maintain our present position a few
months longer. Our situation here would be very comfortable if we had anything
to eat, except bad beef and worse biscuit ; these, however, are but trifling incon-
veniences ; and though we have no fresh meat, we have plenty of fish in the river.
One of our men caught a fine one the other day, which was bought and cooked for
the officers' mess, by which means we were all nearly destroyed — the fish unfor-
tunately happening to be of a poisonous nature ; in consequence of which a genei-al
order was issued the next day, forbidding the troops to catch or eat any more fish.
The country around the factory is beautiful ; but we deem it prudent to keep
within the walls, as the Chinese are very expert at picking up stragglers, whom
they usually strangle. Beyond this we cannot complain of our situation ; fowls
are extremely abundant, but I have not seen any, the inhabitants having carried
them up the country along with their cattle and provisions of every description.
The water here is so brackish that it is almost impossible to drink it ; there are,
however some wells of delicious water in the neighbourhood, which would be a real
treasure to us if the Chinese had not poisoned them. Notwitlistanding these una-
voidable pri vations, the courage of our troops is i ndomitable: a detachment of the —th
regiment succeeded last week in taking possession of an island in the river, nearly
half an acre in extent ; it has, however, since been deemed advisable to relin-
quish this important conquest, owing to the muddv nature of the soil, into which
several of our brave fellows sank to the middle, and were with difficulty extri-
cated. A gallant affair took place a few days ago between two English men-of-
war's boats and a Chinese market junk, which was taken after a resolute defence
on the part of the Chinaman and his wife, who kept up a vigorous fire of pump-
kins and water-melons upon our boats, until their supply was exhausted, when
they were forced to surrender to British valour. The captured junk has since
been cut up for the use of the forces. Though this unpleasant state of affairs
has interrupted all formal intercourse between the Chinese and English, Captain
Elliot has given a succession of balls to the occupants of a small mud fort near
the shore, which I fear they did not relish, a3 several of them appeared exceed-
ingly hurt, and removed with remarkable celerity out of reach of the Captain's
civilities. Thus, instead of opening the trade, this proceeding has only served to
open the breach. The Emperor, I hear, is enraged at our successes, and has
ordered the head and tail of the mandarin, Keshin, to be sent in pickle to the
imperial court at Pekin. A new mandarin has arrived, who has presented a
chop to Captain Elliott, but I hope, where there is so much at stake, that he will
not be put off with a chop. There is no description of tea to be had in the market
now hut gunpowder, w hich, by the last reports, is going off briskly. Our amuse-
ments are not very numerous, being chiefly confined to yawning and sleeping ;
of this latter recreation I must confess that we enjoy but little, owing to the
mosquitos, who are remarkably active and persevering in their attacks upon us.
But with the exception of these tormenting insects, and a rather alarming variety
of centipedes, scorpions, and spiders, we have no venomous creatures to disturb
ug. The weather is extreme'iv hot, and the advantages of the river for bathing
would be very great if it were not so full of sharks. I have much more to relate
of our present cheering prospects and enviable situation, but a ship is on the
point of sailing for England, so must conclude in haste.

Ever, dear Tom, vours,

R. B.

poached egotism.

The Examiner observes, in speaking of the types of the new premier's policy,—
1 The state, I am the state." said the most arrogant of French monarchs. " The
administration, I am the administration," would seem to say Sir Robert Peel,
in the speech explanatory of his views, which cannot be likened to Wolsey's
" Ego et Rex meus," because the importance of the ego is not impaired by any
addition. — This literally amounts to a conviction, on the part of the editor of the
Examiner, that the premier's expression is all in his " I."

THE POLITICAL NATURALISTS LIBRARY

contents of the volumes already published.

the super-natural htstory OF-

u Humming" Birds.—With Memoir and Portraits of Peel, Stanley and
Aberdeen.

Birds of the " Game" Kind.—Portrait and Memoir of Mr. Gully.
Fishes of the " Perch" Genus.—Biographical notices of the late Ministry.
Ruminating .Animals, Vol. I.—Contents : Goats, &c. Portrait of Mr.
M untz.

Ruminating Animals, Vol. 2.—Contents : Deer, Antelopes, &c. Portrait
of Mr. Roebuck.

Marsupials, or '-Pouched" Animals.—With many plates. Poi trait and
Memoir of Daniel O'Connell, Esq.

British Butterflies.—Portrait and Memoir of Sir E. Lvtton Bulwer.

Completion of the Work.—Considerable progress has been making in the
concluding volume of the series. Rats, with portraits of Burdett, Gibson,
Wakley, et genus omne ; but the subject is so vast that no definite time can be
fixed for its publication.

a great card.

Mr. Wakley begs to inform the Lords of the Treasury, the editor of the
Times, and the Master of the Mint, that ever anxious to rise in the world, he hag
recently been induced to undertake the sweeping of Conservative flues, and the
performance of any dirty work which his Tory patrons may deem him worthy to
perform. Certain objections having been made as to his qualifications for a
climbing boy, Mr. W. pledges himself to undergo any course of training, tc
enable him to get through the business, and to remove any apprehension of his
ever becoming

a potted bloater.

the poetical justice.

Sir Peter Laurie, in commenting upon the late case of false imprisonment,
where two young men had been unjustifiably handcuffed by the police, delivered
himself of the following exquisite piece of rhetoric : -" He did not think it pos-
sible that such a case of abuse could pass unnoticed as that he had just heard.
The general conduct of the police was, he believed, good ; but the instances of
arbitrary conduct and overbearing demeanour set to flight all the ancient
examples brought forward to enrich by contrast the serious parts of tlie
glorious genius of Shakspeare." We never understood or imagined there
was an Anacreon among the aldermen, a Chaucer in the common council, or a
Moliere at the Mansion-house. We have now discovered the Peter Lauriate ot

the City_the poet of the Poultry. Who, in the face of the above sentence,

can deny his right to these titles, if, like ourselves, they are

o.^en to conviction !

the evil MOST to be drf.ADrn.

A clergyman, lately preaching to a country congregation, used the following
persuasive arguments against the vice of swearing :—« Oh, my brethren avoid
this practice, for it is a great sin, and, what is more, it is ungsntee- ,