Punch or The London charivari (1.1841)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 201

THE PHYSIOLOGY OF THE LONDON MEDICAL

STUDENT.
6—OF THE GRINDER AND HIS CLA.SS.

NE fine morning, in the Oc-
tober of the third winter session,
the student is suddenly struck
by the recollection that at the
end of the course the time will
arrive for him to be thinking
about undergoing the ordeals of
the Hall and College. Making

" Now, come, be serious for once, Mr. Manhug," continues the
teacher ; " what else is likely to answer the purpose? "

" I think a run up Holborn-hill, with two Ely-place knockers on
your arm, and three policemen on your heels, might have a good
effect," answers Mr. Manhug.

" Do you ever think you will pass the Hall, if you go on at this
rate?" observes the teacher, in a tone of mild reproach.

" Not a doubt of it, sir," returns the imperturbable Manhug. " I've
passed it twenty times within this last month, and did not find any
very great difficulty about it; neither do I expect to, unless they block
up Union-street and Water-lane."
up his mind, therefore, to begi" ^e Srmder Z"'es Mr- Manhug up as a hopeless case, and goes on
studying in earnest, he becomes t0 the De^\ "lMn RaPP> they Wl11 very likely t0 ask }'ou the con>
a pro tempore member of a tern- \ position of the compound gamboge pill: what is it made of ?"

Mr. Kapp hasn t the least idea.

"Remember, then, it is composed of cambogia, aloes, ginger, and
soap —C, A, G, S,—cags. Recollect Cags. Mr. Rapp. What would
purchases a coffee-pot, a reading- j >^ do lf7°u werc t0 a Phoned by oxalic acid I

candlestick, and Steggall's Ma- G/ve him some chalk returns Mr. Rapp.

nual; and then, contriving to I " Put ,suPPose y°u had n°t got any chalk, what would you sub-

perance society, pledging him
self to abstain from immoderate
beer for six months: he also

° stitute'
accumulate five guineas to pay a

" grinder," he routs out his old note-b >oks from the bottom of his box,

and commences to " read for the Hall."

Aspirants to honours in law, phvsic, or divinity, each know the

value of private cramming—a process by which their brains are fat-

" Oh, anything ; pipeclay and soapsuds."

" Yes, that's all very right; but we will presume you could not get
any pipeclay and soapsuds ; in fact, that there was nothing in the house.
What would you do then ?"

Mr. Manhug cries out from the bottom of the table—" Let him die

tened, by abstinence from liquids and an increase of dry food (some of I j ^'
it very dry), like the livers of Strasbourg geese. There are grinders in ,e XT

^UftU-l.u^ e • i a5UUU1»» . .. , & . , "Now, Mr. Manhug, 1 really must entreat of you to be more
each ot these three professional classes : but the medical teacher is the f , „•'. . " .. ' v ... ..\

m™ JAo m„( „■ i i - i ii \t . i • i • steady, interrupts the prolessor. "» on would scrape the ceiling with

man ot the most varied and eccentric knowledge. Not only is he in- ., , , 1 1 . , . . . ,.r , ,. °.

„• ,_«.„!„ „____ • t i ... , , x ■ i * v. t r i the hre-shovel, would you not I Piaster contains lime, and lime is an

timately acquainted with the different branches required to be studied, .- , . n n ► .u * i nhu i-1

K,,t u': i * r ii i • . . t i -a .i antidote. Recollect that, if you please. I hey like you to say you

hut he is also master of all their mmutia;. In accordance with the \ ,, .< •,. - *, ,t, A• , ..3 , , i

t„ta „f ,i • , , nuuui a. i^i would scrape the ceiling, at the Hall: hey think it shows a rtadv

taste ot the examiners, he learns and imparts to his class at what degree • 1 at v i u i .i i

* v . „ . , . ' »« 'uuiijiiu» « & invention in emergency. Mr. Newcome, you have heard the last

ot heat water boils in a balloon—how the article of commerce, Prussian , nnOBtinn anA „nc ° s» J

blue, is more easily and correctly defined as the Ferrosesqmcyanuret of u Y&. ^ , the f h ag he fini> heg ^ a M of u

t^T i /;otoi;""Mt-why the c^ouS oxyde, or laughing gas, ; „ WdQ ' f man who hag hu ^e]£ ^

induces people o make such asses of themselves ; and, especially, all \ ,d be > ' ^ endeavo'ur ? »
sorts oi individual inquiries, which, if continued at the present rate, rn 3 .,. . ■ , ■ , : .

will range from '< Who discovered the use of the spleen ? " to " Who ! x. " fo scrape the ceiling with the fire-shovel, mildly observes Mr.
killed cock robin? " for aught we know They ask questions at the Newcome : whereupon the class indulges m a hearty laugh and Mr
Hall quite as va"-ue as these ' I Newcome blushes as deep as the red bull s-eye of a New-road doctors

It is twelve o'clock at noon. In a large room, ornamented by shelves lamP- . „ , T

of bottles and preparations, with varnished prints of medical plants ^"2„}*J V°U ' Ma"hUg? perhai>S >'°U ^ mi°nn Mr
and cases of articulated bones and ligaments, a number of young men '
are seated round a long table covered with baize, in the centre of whom

an intellectual-looking man, whose well-developed forehead shows the , " Well well,' continues the teacher ; "but we wiU presume he has
amount of knowledge it can contain, is interrogating by turns each of j been cut down. What would you strive to do next.
the students, and endeavouring to impress the points in question on ! " Cut him UP> sir^„lf the coroner would ^e an 0lder for
their memories by various diverting associations Each of his pupils, j mo^ examination.

as he passes his examination, furnishes him with a copy of the subjects | " We have had no chemistry this morning, observes one of the
touched upon: and by studying these minutely, the private teacher ; PuPlJs _ . • i u

forms a pretty'correct idea of hi ™,1 r n oVthe « Hall questions." "Very well, Mr. Rogers ; we will go on witfe u if you wish How

is a pretty correct idea of the general run of the " Hall questions.'
_" Now, iMr. Muff, " says the gentleman to one of his class, handing
him a bottle of something which appears like specimens of a chesnut
colt's coat after he had been clipped ; " what's that, sir? "
" That's cow-itch, sir," replies Mr. Muff.

" Cow what? You must call it at the Hall by its botanical name

would you endeavour to detect the presence of gold in any body ?'
"By begging the loan of a sovereign, sir," interrupts Mr. Manhug.
" If he knew you as well as I do, Manhug," observes Mr. Jones,
'•he'd be sure to'lend it—oh, yes!—I should rayther think so, cer-
tainly," whereupon Mr. Jones compresses his nostril with the thumb

—dolichos pruriens. What is it used for? " of his right hand, and moves his fingers as if he was performing a

" To strew in peoples beds that you owe a grudge to," replies Muff; concerto on an imaginary one handed flageolet,
whereat all the class laugh, except the last comer, who takes it all for " Mr. Rapp. what is the difference between an element and a com-
granted, and makes a note of the circumstance in his interleaved pound body?" ,
manual Mr. Rapp is again obliged to confess his ignorance.

- That answer would floor you," continues the grinder. « The 1 " A compound body is composed of two or more elements," says the
dolichos is used to destrov worms. How does it act, Mr. Jones? " j grinder, " in various proportions. Give me an example, Mr. Jones,
going on to the next pup'il—a man in a light cotton cravat and no « Half-and-half is a compound body, composed ot_the two elements,

ale and porter, the proportion of the porter increasing in an inverse
ratio to the respectability of the public-house you get it from," replies

shirt collar, who looks very like a butler out of place
It tickles them to death, sir," answers Mr. Jones
" You would say it acts mechanically," observes the grinder. " The Mr. Jones,
fine points stick into the worms and kill them. They say, ' Is this a ' The professor smiles, and taking up a Pharmacopoeia, says, " J see
dagger which I see before me? ' and then die. Recollect the dagger, 1 here directions for evaporating certain liquids 'in a water-bath.' Mr.
Mr. Jones, when you go up. Mr. Manhug, what do you consider the | Newcome, what is the most familiar instance of a water-bath you art

best sudorific, if you wanted to throw a person into a perspiration?

Mr. Manhug, who is the wag of the class, finishes, in rather an
abrupt manner, a song he was humming, solto voce, having some
allusion to a peer who was known as Thomas, Lord Noddy, having
passed a night at a house of public entertai anent in the Old Bailey
previous to an execution. He then takes a pinch of snuff, winks at
'he other pupils as much as to say, " See me tackle him, now; " and
replies, " The gallery door of Co vent Garden on Boxing-night."

acquainted with

"In High Hoiborn. sir; between Little Queen-street and JJrury-
lane," returns Mr. Newcome.

" A water-bath means a vessel placed in boiling-water, Mr. New-
come, to keep it at a certain temperature. If you are asked at fcu«
Hall for the most familiar instance, they like you to say a carpenter'
glue-pot."

And in like manner the grinding-class proceeds

Vol. 1.

7-2