Punch or The London charivari: Punch or The London charivari (2.1842)

14

PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE PHYSIOLOGY OF LONDON EVENING

PARTIES.

J.—IN WHICH THE AUTHOR INVOKES CERTAIN ASSISTANCE.

ALTZES, whist, wax-candles, and
waist-coats! Chandeliers,and cham-
pagne ! Croquets, creams, cornets-a-
piston, and cracker-bonbons ! Flirts,
flounces, and flowers ' A mtUe of de-
licious and captivating images crowd
upon us at once, and involve our ideas
in a mass of inextricable confusion
for our commencement.

Twinkling-footed Terpsichore! —
GentleGoddess whose bright showers
—oh. no ! that's another—gentle god-
dess of pumps and pirouettes ! lady
patroness of coquettes and confec-
tioners! a bewildered author implores
thee to inspire him, by the transfer of
a small portion of liveliness from thy own heels to his head. By the
charming attributes of thy most favoured votaries; —by Marie
Taglioni's gauze wings, and Fanny Ellsler's brass-heeled brodequins;
by Pauline Duvernay's ruby lips, and Fanny Cerito's alabaster shoul-
ders ; by the Gitana, Cracovienne, Cachoueha, and Lithuanienne,
descend ! Descend, we beseech you, and mesmerise our brain with
some of the active magnetic influence that pervades thy thrilling and
vibrating organization !

Coy creature ! dost thou require further invocation ? Thou shalt
have it. By Jullien, who fancies himself good-looking; and by
Musard, whom nobody ever accused of beauty; by the glorious and
inspiring waltzes of Strauss, Lanner, and Labitsky— waltzes whose
names the author would be but too happy to chronicle in these
columns, did he not fear his steel-pen would break down in the adven-
turous attempt; by Weippert, Colli net, Fetolf, Adams, and Blagrove ;
he once more implores your assistance.

We have waited for five minutes in an agony of expectation,
and the muse has not appeared ; nor do we perceive ourselves sud-
denly gifted with any unusual inspiration. No dense clouds of
aromatic vapour, rolling in delicious and enervating volumes, have
filled the room ; neither has the carpet opened, the walls divided, or
the ceiling vanished, in allowing any lovely spirit, whose silk fleshings
move in pliant grace beneath the transparent undulations of her book-
muslin tunic, to visit our mundane, or rather our aerial, apartment.
"We perceive that we are, as usual, left to our own resources ; with
the reflection on the chilling truth, that virtuous woodcutters and
youngest princes are the only persons who, upon nursery authority,
appear to have ever received morning calls or mental assistance from
the feminine children of the air.

Enterprising reader ! who hast so nobly invested threepence in
the purchase of our livraison; when, as the "Medical Student" we
bade thee farewell at the close of the last volume (which was also
the first) we stated that with the new year we once more antici-
pated the pleasure of meeting you ; we have kept our promise, and
with the close of the first week, we are here. We beg, as hereto-
fore, you will honour us with your hebdomadal society,—an invitation
which, we hope to hear you say in the language of evening party
documents, "you will have much pleasure in accepting."

II.—OF THE PROPER PERIOD FOR EVENING PART IKS.

In spite of the versifications of an old English poet named Thomson,
—an almost extinct author who once perpetrated a book about the
four quarters,—the society of London allows but one season in the
course of the solar year. This may be said to commence properly with
spring radishes and Grisi, and conclude at an indefinite period, varying
according to the extent of incomes, the success of philanderings, the
approach of grouse shooting, and the continental or marine migration
of the connexions you most look up to ; everybody knows a set of
comparatively great people, whose habits they are most indefatigable-
in imitating. The choreographic ingress, to speak astronomicallyr
begins with the dingy foliage of the Parks, and terminates with the-
arrival of oysters ; after which the dance hastens to quit town.
Quadrilles depart to renovate their enfeebled figures at the leading
watering-places; waltzes embark on board the Bataxier for Baden-
Baden ; cornets-a-piston incline to provincial concerts, for change
of air and the benefit of their lungs ; and harps evince extreme affec-
tion for Gravesend and Richmond steamboats.

It cannot be altogether the philanthropic wish of making their
guests partake of small doses of the poetry of existence, from tei*
o'clock at night until three in the morning, that induces people to-
invite them, or they would choose some more congenial time. At

this period of the year the weather is in a glorious state of uncer-
tainty, and young men, who do not like trudging to parties along a
muddy trottoir in thin-soled patent boots—who revolt at the association
of white kids and an omnibus, are compelled to take cabs, which
collectively keep up a becoming and consequential clatter in the
street all the evening (for a Hansom makes as much noise as a
private one, and perhaps more), and in the dark produces quite
as good an effect. The drawing-room windows can also be opened
that the coachmen and lantern-bearers-in-waiting may participate in
the harmony of the band, or watch the shadows of the waltzers as they
twirl across the blinds, should they be down, and the adjacent inha-
bitants be impressed with a due idea of the party-givers' importance;
whilst the rapid approach of daybreak affords the best hint of the
flight of time, and drives the most inveterate dancer to tender his
adieus to the hostess, who has been dying to go to bed for the last
two hours, in an agony of suspense lest the solar lamp in the china-
closet, which, by a process of unparalleled mechanical extension has
been converted into a card-room, should go out and begin to smell.

Rocket-