Punch or The London charivari: Punch or The London charivari (2.1842)

PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

1 15

PHYSIOLOGY OF LONDON EVENING
PARTIES.

X. OF THE SUrPEJt.

FTER some six
or eight quadrilles,
and a proportionate
number of waltzes,
intermingled with
another song or two,
one of which was
from a professional
gentleman whogives
concerts at the Ha
no vcr-scpuare Rooms
and attends the
party in the antici-
pation of eventually
disposing of several
half-guinea tickets,
as well as the extra-
ordinary perform-
ance of some young
lady on the piano,
who plays a piece
thirty pages long,
which gives you a
very fair idea of
eternity, and sets
you thinking what
offence the keys
and wires have been
guilty of to be treated in so violent a manner, and hoping at the same
time they are not often taken so—after all this, we repeat, there is an
unusual movement in the room towards the door, commencing with
the turbans and velvet hats, from which you infer that supper has
been announced. The hostess requests Mr. Ledbury to take down a
lady w ith him, w hereupon he offers his arm to his former partner,
Miss Hamilton ; and they folio w in the wake of the others, until they
arrive at the dining-room, where there is rather an obstruction during
the attempts made by those who have already entered to arrange
ninety guests upon six rout-stools.

There is something peculiarly exhilarating in the appearance of the
long, glittering table, with its bright wax-lights and brighter epergnes,
and artificial bouquets, and temples, and wine-coolers. Of course, it
must be well furnished, and not depend entirely upon the splendid
starvation plan, where cut glass and plate are crowded on the table
as ail excuse for cold fowls and pates de Strasburg. Once we remem-
ber to have seen a lobster salad-made out of boiled cod ; but then we
think the people deserved extreme credit for their ingenuity.

The company being at length arranged with tolerable accommo-
dation, the ladies sitting, and the gentlemen standing behind them,
like so many superior butlers — the white neckcloths, in some
instances, strengthening the resemblance—Mr. Ledbury asks Miss
Hamilton what he may have the pleasure of procuring for her?
and Miss Hamilton thinks she will take "a little chicken," meaning,
of course, the portion of one ; whereupon Mr. Ledbury harpoons the
last of the merrythoughts with desperate energy, and procures a slice
of glazed tongue with equal celerity ; and Miss Hamilton, upon
receiving it, plays with the merrythought for a minute or two, cut-
ting small pieces from it about the size of an oat, two or three
of which she manages to swallow, and then lays down her knife and
fork in token of having finished. Hereat, Mr. Ledbury thinks what
a very little Miss Hamilton eats, and how remarkably oomme-U-faut
is a small appetite; whereas he might have altered his opinion
had lie seen Miss Hamilton that day at one o'clock, when she w as
suddenly struck with admiration of some currant dumplings which
she met on the stairs going up to the nursery dinner.

Having taken "a little wine " with this young lady, Mr. Ledbury
next challenges Miss Mitchell, who is a little distance up the table.
Miss Mitchell inclines her head in token of acquiescence ; and,
•whilst her gentleman-in-waiting is asking some one else to pass
down the white wine, perfectly f orgets all about it; so that Mr.
Ledbury stands in a most graceful pose, with the glass raised half-
way to his lips waiting to bow, until perceiving the engagement is
quite forgotten, he inclines his head to some collared eel, and drinks
off the half glass of Moselle in great confusion.

In the centre of the table is a lighthouse, made of rout-cakes,
standing in the midst of a tempestuous sea of trifle Nobody, up

to the present moment, has been bold enough to attack it; but
under the influence of the first champagne, some daring young gentle-
man thrusts a spoon into the middle of it, and transfers a few of its
billows to the plate of a young lady, together with the distressed
mariner, in coloured sugar, who is clinging to a rock of mcniujues a la
crCnt€. The edifice is speedily demolished, and the barley-sugar
birdcage follows ; although there are still a few (joths, presumed to
be people from the country, who think it almost a pity that such
pretty things should be destroyed ; and scrape up one or two of the
ornaments to take home with them.

Snap ! ! there goes the report of the first cracker bonbon, followed
by the faintest and prettiest cry from Miss Mitchell it is possible to
conceive. A tiny piece of lilliputian music, such as a fairy would
sing from, is wrapped round the almond, which falls from the gilt
envelope. There is a charming little struggle to possess it, which
terminates in favour of Miss Mitchell. Then the young gentleman
requests her to read it, and Miss Mitchell refuses, and the young
gentleman insists, and Miss Mitchell blushes and crumples it up, and
the young gentleman uses a little gentle force to seize it, and reads it
as follows: —

" Le noni de edle que j'aime
Je le cache dans niun cceur ;
Nul ne le sait que moi mftme,
C'est moil secret, mon bonheur ; "

After which he thrusts it into the pocket of his white waistcoat to
keep as a souvenir, w here it remains throughout many washings,
until quite obliterated.

Meanwhile, after many internal struggles for resolution, Mr. Led-
bury seizes a cracker, and offers one of its fringed ends to Miss
Hamilton. The same snap and the same start occur, and there is the
same anxiety to read the motto. One or two of them discharged
simultaneously give the following results—to all of which Miss
Hamilton exclaims, " Oh ! how absurd to be sure !" :
•' How could my guiltless eyes your heart invade,

Had it not first been by your own betrayed."
- A mon nniour, si pur, que votre amour reponde !

Et mon bonheur pourra faire le dot d'un nionde."
" 1 livc*jut in the sunshine of your eyes,
And yet your cruel heart their light denies."

At the extreme end of the table are seated a young lady and a
young gentleman w ho have been dancing a great deal together—they
were the same we have before noticed—and who have just pulled
one of the crackers. He is reading the motto to her in so low a
tone that she is obliged to bring her face close to his—so close, in-
deed, that her perfumed tresses sweep over his cheek ; and at that
moment they are conscious only of the presence of each other. This

is the motto :—

•• v jens ! viens .' ange du ciel, je t'aime, je t'aime '
Et te le dire ici, e'est le bonheur buineuiel "