Punch or The London charivari: Punch or The London charivari (2.1842)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE DRAWING ROOM.

ATRONESS Lady Cleaver held her
first Drawing Room for the season on
Thursday last, and will hold a parlour
in a week or two.

The whole of the suite of rooms was
thrown open, including the satin-pa-
pered front, the distempered back, and
the stencilled china cupboard, which
was reserved as the closet for those
who had the privilege of the entree.
The brown holland blinds, which had
been washed for the occasion, were low-
ered to the top of the second pane, and
a costly collection of variegated shav-
ings was thrown without regard to ex-
pense into the fire-place. A drapery of silver (tissue-
paper) depended gracefully from the bars, which had
been lavishly furbished with black-lead, and a sort of tri-
angular device of dazzling brilliancy was achieved by a
very tasteful arrangement of the elaborately leathered
fire-irons. The whole of the carpets had been taken up,
and the round table in the centre had been tilted so as to
present its top in the form of a shield to the spectator,
and this was wheeled into a corner of the room, forming
a sort of rostrum for the fugleman who announced the
company. The sofa bedstead was drawn out to its full
extreme, aiid by some very skilful management was ar-
ranged to have the appearance of a platform, upon which Lady Cleaver
stood, surrounded by the household. The suite consisted of the Shop-
man, under the title of Comptroller of the Treasury, the Errand-boy,
as Ambassador Ordinary for the Metropolitan Districts, two Ladies of
the Bedchamber, with their carpet brooms of office, the Footman in
Waiting, who wore the collar and the garter, together with an Usher
of the Brown Rod from a charity school in the neighbourhood. At
l^recisely half-past one Lady Cleaver ascended the platform,
but previously gave audiences in the china closet to the juvenile
members of her own family, and a few other distinguished indivi-
duals. The adults shook hands upon having kept their appoint-
ments, and the younger branches were severally introduced to the
lips of Lady Cleaver.

i'lie following were admitted to the entree in the closet :—
Barto Valle, Charge d'Affaires of the oil and Italian shop in the Hay-
market ; Herleogairt-Gharetin, on a special mission with gloves from
the Custom-house ; Herr Farrance, from Ice-land ; Mons. Gradelle,
on his arrival from the interior of France ; Siguor A. Giubilei,
charged with the execution of a treaty with her Majesty's Theatre ; and
Madame Persian!, on having reached—all the way from Boulogne to
England. Among the general company were, the Steward-iu-Waiting on
the Duke of Devonshire, the Captain of the Tulip Steam Packet, the
Leader of the Band of Gentlemen Glee-Singers, Mr. Snooks, the Master
of the Ceremouies of the Tivoli Gardens, Margate ; a Gentleman Usher,
another usher not a gentleman, the Groom of the Three Cups livery
stables, a newsman with the Standard, two Heralds bearing the banner
of the wet blanket, Mr. Snivins, Baron Nathan and Sweet.
Honourable.—A. Blank.

Ladies. - Mrs. Snooks, Miss Snooks, Miss A. Snooks, Miss B. Snooks

Mrs. Snooks.—Corsage of pink persian coming down in a point, sud
trimmed with fluted cullier at the back and centre. Skirt of white book-
muslin, with deep flounces of sarsenet ribbon, and bound at the placket-
hole with a remnant of yellow lutestring. Head-dress a magnificent front
of false curls, surmounted by a red turban of costly cotton velvet.

Miss Snooks.—A complete toilette of book-muslin. Head-dress a stout
comb of beautifully spotted buffalo.

Miss A. Snooks.—A pink coutille body, with skirt of white leno over a
slip of glazed calico. Head-dress, a sprig of black glass beads, and a
comb of buffalo.

Mrs. Snivins.—A corsage of figured Saxony, with sleeves of white muslin,
and a sarsenet stomacher basted over the bosom, with an edging of white net
herring-boned round the neck, and descending in a point to the hook-and-
eye of the belt of the body. A skirt of washing silk, very full on the
hips, and shorter at the back than the front, so as to show the heels of the
stocking. Leather slippers and head-dress of long brass pins, with mother-
of-pearl balls at the top, interspersed with a chain of mosaic gold, platted
in with the hair, and which was folded over the missing portion of a comb
of real tortoiseshell.

Widow Miffins.—A body of black twill, with skirt of the same, and
let out at the sleeves with narrow insertion. Rosettes of slate-coloured
calico, forming a festoon from the right hip to the calf of the left leg, and
finished off with a bow of black satin ribbon over the ancle. Head-dress,
a profusion of weeds, and in the pocket-handkerchief a small onion.

Miss Snivins.—White calico body and skirt over a slate-coloured pet-
ticoat of real Manchester goods. Head-dress, a quantity of pomatum, and
half a yard of black ribbon.

As we are desirous to make our account of the Drawing-room as com-
plete as possible, we subjoin a few of the

DRESSES OF THE GENTLEMEN.

Mister Snooks.—Coat of dark brown, with plain buttons of white
metal. Waistcoat of siiuff-colour, with breeches en suite ; shirt and neck-
cloth, shoes and stockings. Head-dress, a flaxen caxon.

Master Snooks.—A blue coat with scarcely any collar, and cut off at
the hips, like a riding costume. Waistcoat of pink plush, embroidered
with the large chain of the mosaic order, and surmounted with the collar of
the linen of Ireland. Pantaloons of Saxony falling gracefully over the
John Bull boot, and fastened by straps of harness leather. Head-dress, a
bunch of hair hanging down the back of the neck, and plastered in front
with bears'-grease close over the forehead.

Master A. Snooks.—A dirty face and a clean pinafore. Head-dress,
a shabby tuft of dust-coloured hair, brushed upwards into a miserable
attempt at a Brutus.

The Captain of the "Tulip."—The Thames uniform consisting of a
Holywell-street pea-jacket, turned up at the cuffs, and turned down at the
collar. Head-dress, a fan-tailed hat, attached by a yard of whipcord to the
nearest button-hole. The gallant Captain was looking remarkably well
after his recent voyage. He brought despatches from the Windmill Pier,
Vauxhall, aud was admitted to the closet.

The following ladies were presented to Lady Cleaver :—

Miss Snooks, «vn her appointment as governess to the Isle of Dogs
Charity School.

Mrs. Snivins, on her return from a tour to the Eel Pie Islands.
Mrs. Muff, on presenting a copy of her new work on Toast and
Toasting-forks.

Mrs. Grouse, on the renewal of the license of the Pelopoimesian Tea •
gardens.

We are happy to say that Lady Cleaver looked remarkably well, and
every thing went off very pleasantly.

PERSIANI AT SEA

and Miss A B. C. Snooks. An entilusiastjc audience is assembled to hurrah Persiani—to cry brava

Duke.—Humphrey, jun.
Doctors.—Morrison and Moat.

Field Marshal.— The Marshal of Cold Bath-fields prison.
Generals.—Postman and Dealer.
Major.—Longbow.

Commanders.—Of the Bachelor and Lily.

Captains.—Sniff, of the Duel-room, and Stump, of the Atalauta.
His Excellency Mr. Diddle, from the Netherlands.
At the investiture of the Bath, Master Cleaver was made a Saturday-
Night Companion of the Shower.
We subjoin an account of the

LADIES' DRESSES.
Lady Cleaver.—A magnificent body of sky-blue cotton velvet, trimmed
at the sleeves with point-muslin, and having a narrow frilling of jaconot
round the top ; the sleeves tastefully looped up with that venerable parent
of jewels the mother-of-pearl, and pieced at the gussets with the same
material as the body ; a very full skirt of bright yellow leno over a pet-
ticoat of real buckram, stockings of deep pink, and soiled shoes of amber
satin. Head-dress of blue currant beads, and very large sprigs of artificial
Bowers, in which the triumph of art was shown by the total annihilation
of even the semblance of nature.

—to throw bouquets, &c. The crowd open their mouths to receive the
honied voice of a prima donna, and Doctor Wardrop throws blue pills into
them. The following notice proves the truth of our metaphor :—

" Madame Persiani continues to suffer so severely from the effects oj
nea-sickness, accompanied with violent retching, that it is impossible for her
to appear this evening. James Wardrop. M.D."

On this, says The Times, " the audience were at first disposed to
grumble, and gave many signs of dissatisfaction."

The audience were perfectly right. In the first place, Persiani being
considered upon all hands a perfect syren, must have been so used to the
vicissitudes of the ocean, that sea-sickness was utterly impossible. (We
should as soon think of a butterfly dying with ossificatiou of the heart.)
Secondly, all the bargains of all singers, foreign and native, prove then-
utter want of bowels ; hence the "retching" must have clearly Leeu an
Esculapian fallacy—a gratuitous benevolence of Wardrop, M.D.

We now come"to the dissatisfaction of an enlightened British public.
The audience were justified in becoming very savage at the violent retching
of a sea.sick St. Cecilia; and had she had the effrontery to die, they
would—we are convinced—have been perfectly exonerated, by all the laws
of English freedom, in breaking the chandeliers and tearing up tht
benches !