Punch or The London charivari: Punch or The London charivari (2.1842)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

(Commercial ittadms.

In the sugar-market, sweetened sand commanded high prices, ranging
from six-pence to eight-pence a pound ; and Canadian or other timber
was to be obtained in small quantities, mixed with sugar, at the same mo-
derate figure.

In coffee there wei'e several shabby transactions at three-halfpence a
cup ; and a party (of four) is said to have given an order to a well-
known house for one pint of coffee and four saucers.

Some inferior rum was very heavy in the market ; but Punch retained
all its original and peculiar buoyancy.

__________ ...

PUNCH'S PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY.

A very interesting meeting of the Practical Association of Paro-
chial Philosophers took place in the long room of the Pig and
Parallax, on Monday last, and several curious experiments were
successfully resorted to.

The President opened the proceedings of the evening with a few
remarks on compasses, and gave a curious specimen of the compass
of his own voice by singing a stave which went from B in the bass to
C in the treble.

A member of the association having called for a bottle of ginger beer,
proceeded to go through the following curious operation, which kept the
room in a state of breathless attention throughout the entire process.
He first divided, with a common penknife, the lateral ligatures that
secured the cork, an operation that was performed with so much
nicety as to elicit loud applause from all present. He next applied
a degree of pressure to that portion of the cork which rose above the
neck of the bottle, and having carefully continued this process so as
to have embraced the cork at every point of its diameter, he suddenly
applied the palm of his hand with considerable violence to the bottom
of the bottle, when a curious result presented itself. The cork flew
with a loud explosion into the eye of a member who was watching
the scene with interest, and a light frothy liquid streamed with
considerable violence into the face of the President. The operator
then drained the bottle into a glass and swallowed the contents
as speedily as possible.

The most interesting part of this proceeding consisted, however,
in the description of the sensations experienced by those who took
part in it.

The gentleman who received the cork in his eye, and still holding
his handkerchief over the organ alluded to, gave the following very
graphic particulars : " After seeing the operator strike the bottom of
the bottle with his hand, I felt a smart blow, which appeared to
nffect at once the brow, the lash, the pupil, and the ball of my left
eye, when, from sympathy, my other eye immediately closed {hear,
hear?) It then struck me (loud cheers) that there was a smart pain in
my left organ of vision, and there was a sort of flashing sensation in
the part affected, that was exceedingly interesting, and in the highest
degree curious. Having placed my pocket-handkerchief over my
eye, I found that on opening the right I could perceive surrounding
objects ; but on withdrawing the protection from the left eye, it
seemed to open and close with a rapidity, that is very aptly described
as being like winking. For a few moments I experienced an un-
pleasant sensation, but ultimately the organ resumed its ordinary
functions." The honourable member was loudly cheered at the
conclusion of his explanation.

The President, on being called upon, briefly remarked that he had
heard an explosion, and felt his face suddenly suffused with a x;old
decoction ; and having put out his tongue, he ascertained that " the
mixture" bore a sweet, and, at the same time, an acid character.
He confessed that he felt no peculiar impulse, unless it were to try
the effect of the bottle itself upon the head of the gentleman who
had occasioned the combination of the contents with the cutaneous
covering of his (the President's) countenance. (Hear, hear.)

The meeting was kept up till a late hour ; and the members
eventually became so heated by the liquor that was introduced for
the purpose of sustaining their philosophic energies, that some very
powerful experiments were ultimately resorted to. Among other
things it was ascertained beyond doubt that the human head is capa-
ble of resisting the pressure of a pint-pot, brought down at an angle
of 56, with, the arm of an individual opposite ; but it was observed,
as a curious result, that instead of the superficial plane of the skull
showing any indentation, it invariably gave symptoms of having
sensibly risen on the part with which the metal had come in contact.

It was also satisfactorily shown, that the force employed in the
social operation, usually called " the honours" after drinking Tiast,
imparts a centrifugal force to a tumbler, which is sufficient to bring
it in contact with a window at a distance of fourteen feet, and it was
proved more than once in the course of the evening, that the ordinary
wine glass will not resist the force of a blow against a plane surface
of mahogany.

The meeting broke up at a very late hour, and some of the philoso-
phers continued their experiments upon glass after they reached the
streets, by a few practical operations with the lamps in the public
| thoroughfares, which were ultimately put a stop to by our old friend
Mr. Commissioner, but

CHARLH Y-MAGNE.

SONGS OF THE SEEDY.—No. 13.

A PROFESSOR OF THF BLACK ART.

I passed along a narrow street,

Upon my ear a deep voice fell—
I looked on all—I longed to meet

a man that wanted me to sell.
A hundred hands towards me stretch—

They grasp me almost bv the throat ,
They think then I'm the seedy wretcii

That really wants—to sell a coat.

And must it be ? must I submit

The early friend of other days—
The unexceptionable fit

That all who envied still would praise.
Must 1 allow my old Nugee

That made me once the beau—the thing,
Kxpos'd in a Jew's shop to be,

Or at his dirty door to swing.

Forbid it, Stultz—but oil ! 'tis vain,

The son of Israel lures me in,
The monster racks my tortured brain—

He mutters that the cloth is thin—
"Shee dare," the ruthless villain cries,

And bids me mark the wbiten'd seam,
" Dish has been pieced—why plesh uia eyes,

" 'Tis quitesh worn out." Is this a dream ?

Hark ! in the idiom of his race,

He offers—what ?—a poor half-crown.
I throw a dagger in his face—■

Of course I mean to say I frown.
I snatch it from his eager hand—

The fiend peiceives I will not sell,
And hooting till I reach the Strand,

I hear him " Cursli the seedy svelb"

Vol. 2.

s—2