Punch or The London charivari (3.1842)

152

PUNCH, OH THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

* NATURE " AT WINDSOR.

HE excessively loyal
man has the ugliest
manner of paying a
compliment. He evi-
dently takes his king
; or queen as a carved log dropped
com the skies, or he would not
larvel as he does when the
iforesaid image shows any touch
of life or human sympathy. If
his idol perform the commonest act of social courtesy, he roars—" what
condescension !" If it display the influence of affections, he screams—

" a miracle ! " Her Majesty, on her arrival at Windsor from Scotland, ! back his misbegotten earnings to the poor, Sir Robert Peel might
has her babies immediately brought to her : whereupon, says the A.tlas—i dispense with his Income tax, and twenty other taxes into the

" The woman and the mother for a moment proclaimed the supremacy bargain.
of nature over the etiquette of a court, and the splendour of a diadem ! '"

What very ill-breeding on the part of " nature :"—but then, we pre
fiume, she is such a stranger at courts ! Was there no G-old Stick in waiting
fco show the baggage to the door ?

''CONSCIENCE MONEY,

In the Times of two or three days ago, may be read these startling
words :—

*' The Chancellor of the Exchequer acknowledges the receipt of the sum of £iO,i.
conscience money, from an individual signing himself " Aliquis."

We would give—yes, the two volumes of Punch—to have half-an-
hour's chat with " Aliquis." Who, of the modern sneerers, shall after
this say conscience is not thought much of in these days, seeing that a
man renders back the sum of £400 for it! We have a great mind to
attempt an imaginary life of " Aliqui3.'' Was he a smuggler ? If
so, most ignorant has been his compunction, all writers on free trade
holding the greatest smuggler to be the greattst benefactor to his
country. Is he a retired M.P., who—having touched the public
money for what, in the new wisdom of his heart, he now deems cor-
rupt practices—-would make a clean pocket of it ? Is he a superan-
nuated actor, smitten with a sense of undeserved genius ? T.his is
by no means an improbable case. We can believe that Mr. Charles
Kean, for instance, wrill, when " years shall bring the philosophic
mind," send a very considerable amount of" conscience-money " to a
future Chancellor, in atonement of the large subsidies he has levied
upon his fellow-subjects. This wre know—if he would, die easily, he
ought.

Would that Conscience could be universal in its touch upon the
breeches' pockets of the rich and well-to-do ! Great would be its
subscriptions to the State—great its tardy justice to the wants and
injuries of others ! If Conscience, by its ten thousand emissaries,
would peep between the bed-curtains of the placeman, the sinecurist,
the o'er-fatted bishop, the Croesus of costs, the lawyer, and with un-
ceasing voice bid each social evil-doer, each snug brigand, render

SONGS OF THE FLOWERS.

No. IV.—THE SONG OF THE CONVOLVOLUS.
['m a playful Convolvolus twisting about ;

My movements are graceful—my actions are free.;
I turn where I wist—now I'm in—now I'm out;

But who can predict where to-morrow I'll be ?
I'm the flirt of the garden. One moment I press

In my delicate tendrils the Sunflower's stem ;
Then I hold the youn.g Lily in ardent caress :

To me it is sport— though 'tis bondage to them.

The Jasmine will often with ardour entwine

Round the trellis to which they have coax'd it to cli.ug ;

But, oh ! to fall off it will ever incline,
Unless" its attachment is guided—.by string.

CSS

OPENING .V BANK.

On, for a Conscience tax! 'twould be so abundant, and then so
easy of collection. Why do not the Bishops originate a bill in the
House of Lords—why not preach the justice and benevolence of the
measure from their every pulpit !

VENETIAN BLIND.

Aaufi tints it is evter with many a flower—

Unless they have train'd it, its constancy fails j

it coldly drops off from the desolate bower,
Unless they've resorted to hammer and nails.

Oh, they cannot the playful Convolvolus charge

With conduct so cold and so heartless as this ;
Though embracing the belles of the garden at large,

'Tis constant where once't has imprinted its kiss.
For e'en though its victim should languish and die,

The Convolvolus still to the ruin is true :
Where once us entwined it continues to lie,

Till decay shall have reach'd the Convolvolus too 1

Somebody lias advertised for an imbecile old lady, who requires
to be treated with care and kindness. Surely this is a card of invi-
tation to the Editor of the Morning Herald!

ABOVT TO ENTER THE BRIDAL STATE

RINGING A BELLE.
Our facete friend, George Stansbury, has been literally running ovei
with jokes at the Surrey this last week, prompted by the situation in
Blanche Heriot, which, he says, is but fair, inasmuch as Mrs. R. Honnei
has borne the belle there so long, it is but right that the bell should now
bear her, and return the compliment. He also adds the idea of that
deadening tiie curfew is not original, but was evidently suggested by *iw
recent success c-f the proprietor of Waterloo-bridge in lessening >.£*' toiii